rant
gar. can't sleep. fuckity fuckity fuck. too many work parties and too much going all out and giving my all to people. too much feeling like no one else gives a shit. so this is what it feels like to be a "leader". and then to come to this and listen to a bunch of drunken belligerence. not what I want after a week of me putting all my energy into others, because I genuinely wanted to, and not expecting anything in return. I did get some love back, real love and respect and man it's more than I could ask for. But, perhaps I should have just expected a little something, or acknowledged that I really did hope for some reciprocality, instead of fooling myself. Cuz why I'm not satisfied I do not know. But I do know that I'm going to explode real soon.
bah
bah