Street Harassment: What Can Men Do?
Recently, I posted about street harassment which lead to discussion, questions, and a follow up post to give examples and causes of harassment. Which lead to more discussion and more questions. :-) Specifically, a couple of men had concerns about how they should behave when witnessing this kind of harassment. I'll use part of FiX's comment to hang my points on.
FiX wrote:
So, in your opinion, what could us normal guys do to help improve the situation? Clearly, we could in some case step over and shame or threaten the culprit, but:
1. we probably don't notice that harassment is hapening in some cases
Quite right, street harassment doesn't generally happen when a woman is in the company of a man. So I'd like to take a step back to before the incident takes place. Street harassment is, as I've previously said, part of a wider culture. A constructive action men can take is speaking up when a sexist remark is made, be it at work or at a party. There's no need to give the offender Feminism 101, just say it's not cool. That would be great.
2. personnally speaking, I'm a coward, so my risking limb and health to "protect" a woman who's ganged upon by a tribe of lust-driven beasts is probably never going to happen
Okay, probably stating the bleedin' obvious, but seriously people, if the situation is threatening to turn that ugly, call the police, don't hesitate.
So, what would you like people who are near you when you are being harassed do?
On the occasions when there is someone in earshot, I'd like them to pay attention. Last Thursday's incident is a nice example. A disreputable drunk started yammering at me. Another man started keeping half an eye on what was going on. The drunk semi-lightly punched me in the arm a couple of times for the sin of ignoring him. I said, "Don't touch me!" That earned me three pairs of attentive eyeballs. My harasser eventually walked off. The other man made a sympathetic comment to me about the evils of alcohol.
As far as I'm concerned, the three onlookers did fine. I would have had them do no more and no less than they did. If anyone is hesitant about intervening because they worry about disempowering the woman, try to make eye contact and take your cues from her. Stepping up to offer a bit of moral support afterwards also helps. Being left alone sucks.
Speaking of support, there's another thing men can do. Listen to a woman about this. They might have a similar story to tell, they might say something completely different to me. Just listening is good.
In summary:
1. hear evil, thwart
2. look, listen
3. support
FiX wrote:
So, in your opinion, what could us normal guys do to help improve the situation? Clearly, we could in some case step over and shame or threaten the culprit, but:
1. we probably don't notice that harassment is hapening in some cases
Quite right, street harassment doesn't generally happen when a woman is in the company of a man. So I'd like to take a step back to before the incident takes place. Street harassment is, as I've previously said, part of a wider culture. A constructive action men can take is speaking up when a sexist remark is made, be it at work or at a party. There's no need to give the offender Feminism 101, just say it's not cool. That would be great.
2. personnally speaking, I'm a coward, so my risking limb and health to "protect" a woman who's ganged upon by a tribe of lust-driven beasts is probably never going to happen
Okay, probably stating the bleedin' obvious, but seriously people, if the situation is threatening to turn that ugly, call the police, don't hesitate.
So, what would you like people who are near you when you are being harassed do?
On the occasions when there is someone in earshot, I'd like them to pay attention. Last Thursday's incident is a nice example. A disreputable drunk started yammering at me. Another man started keeping half an eye on what was going on. The drunk semi-lightly punched me in the arm a couple of times for the sin of ignoring him. I said, "Don't touch me!" That earned me three pairs of attentive eyeballs. My harasser eventually walked off. The other man made a sympathetic comment to me about the evils of alcohol.
As far as I'm concerned, the three onlookers did fine. I would have had them do no more and no less than they did. If anyone is hesitant about intervening because they worry about disempowering the woman, try to make eye contact and take your cues from her. Stepping up to offer a bit of moral support afterwards also helps. Being left alone sucks.
Speaking of support, there's another thing men can do. Listen to a woman about this. They might have a similar story to tell, they might say something completely different to me. Just listening is good.
In summary:
1. hear evil, thwart
2. look, listen
3. support