Speech
Oh jeez I am so dang pumped for speech, you have no idea. Wow!!!
PS I went to Rocky Horror last night, and it was fun.
Speech, guys! Speech!
Oh yeah, and one last thing. This is the essay I attatched to the Common App but I haven't sent it in anywhere yet so there's time to make changes or wuss out and write a dumb essay. Even though this is probably already the most overexposed piece of writing I have ever done (except like "A Hilarious Prank"? Whatever, when I'm proud of things, I show them off) I'd appreciate it if you would look at it and give me any suggestions as it may or may not be DECIDING MY FUTURE. Anyway, here it is:
Personal Essay #1
If you could write and direct any movie, what would it be like?
By Lilly Richard
The year is 2026. Quality and interest in mainstream film has been declining for as long as anyone can remember. Low profits have necessitated even lower movie budgets, resulting in flimsily made, badly-written cinematic dredge. What was once the height of stardom is now a muddy plateau populated by unattractive people and lowbrow humor. With every new dud that reaches theaters, casual viewers wince; critics despair. Roger Ebert has himself cryogenically frozen “until something good comes out.”
The time is ripe for revolution, yet everyone from the highest up of acclaimed directors to the lowest down of the general public is depressingly uninspired. Children take to throwing stones at passing cars and using cheap, dangerous drugs rather than wasting their time and money on going to the movies. Parents take to equally frivolous activities such as painting and going on walks. Large studio executives go hungry. Tensions are high, but prospects are dark.
Meanwhile, a stunning, mature version of myself has been laying low for several years, raising an equally beautiful and successful family. But it is time, I feel, to unveil to a waiting world my ultimate cinematic masterpiece.
Producers and sponsors are contacted, actors and thousands of attractive extras are hired, and in no time at all, Sex Explosion hits the theaters.
...
The film opens with a shot of several naked ladies posed in several exciting positions, such as on the roof, in a car, and upside-down. Then, without warning, they explode.
As this will be a family-oriented film, no gore will be involved in the explosions; just a lot of fire. For the next two hours, the scenario is repeated with many different settings, ladies, and explosions. From start to finish, theaters are packed, and the film brings in several trillion dollars in its first week of release. Most of this money is quickly donated to non-profit organizations as well as the desperately floundering US government, effectively eliminating the threat to the whales and the nightmarish national deficit in less than a week’s time.
Moving faster than a swarm of locusts through impoverished farmland, a Sex Explosion craze sweeps the nation, then the world. Through its tacit message of acceptance and understanding, and mind-blowing sex explosions, the movie brings peace to warring Middle-Eastern countries, and teaches children the value of growing up too fast.
Within weeks, a series of knock-offs such as “Sexplosion 3000" and “Raunchy Dynamite Mis-haps” rush into production. These hastily conceived films fail to generate the interest that Sex Explosion managed to capture, a fact which could probably be blamed on a few puzzling choices by the producers, such as the decisions to cast aging sun-worshipers as the naked leads, and to replace live-action explosions with still frames reading “boom.”
After the embarrassing flops of every other movie following-and preceding-it, no one is surprised when Sex Explosion sweeps the Academy Awards. Writes a recently re-animated Roger Ebert, “What? Where am I? What Year is it? Oh-the movie? The movie, of course. Yes, Sex Explosion was a scintillating epic journey that provided thrills and chills for the whole family-and there were naked ladies that exploded!”
In the years that follow, public support remains strong and audiences are wowed again and again by “Sex Explosion 2,” “Sex Explosion 3,” and “Sex Explosion 4: 3-D Jamboree.” Each successive film is approximately five times as great as the previous one, and together they revitalize the film industry and are able to wipe out hunger, AIDS, and cancer. The explosion has left its mark.
Unfortunately, years later, in a freak accident that makes headlines, the explosion leaves many other marks as well. Unsightly ones. In 2046 I myself am inadvertently sex-exploded while innocently sunbathing naked atop a condemned building, and receive burns and emotional wounds from which I never fully recover. I remove myself from the Sex Explosion business then, secluding myself from the public eye while cleverly remaining on the studio payroll, and live in peace for many more years with my husband in an enormous and well-decorated house.
THE END..
PS I went to Rocky Horror last night, and it was fun.
Speech, guys! Speech!
Oh yeah, and one last thing. This is the essay I attatched to the Common App but I haven't sent it in anywhere yet so there's time to make changes or wuss out and write a dumb essay. Even though this is probably already the most overexposed piece of writing I have ever done (except like "A Hilarious Prank"? Whatever, when I'm proud of things, I show them off) I'd appreciate it if you would look at it and give me any suggestions as it may or may not be DECIDING MY FUTURE. Anyway, here it is:
Personal Essay #1
If you could write and direct any movie, what would it be like?
By Lilly Richard
The year is 2026. Quality and interest in mainstream film has been declining for as long as anyone can remember. Low profits have necessitated even lower movie budgets, resulting in flimsily made, badly-written cinematic dredge. What was once the height of stardom is now a muddy plateau populated by unattractive people and lowbrow humor. With every new dud that reaches theaters, casual viewers wince; critics despair. Roger Ebert has himself cryogenically frozen “until something good comes out.”
The time is ripe for revolution, yet everyone from the highest up of acclaimed directors to the lowest down of the general public is depressingly uninspired. Children take to throwing stones at passing cars and using cheap, dangerous drugs rather than wasting their time and money on going to the movies. Parents take to equally frivolous activities such as painting and going on walks. Large studio executives go hungry. Tensions are high, but prospects are dark.
Meanwhile, a stunning, mature version of myself has been laying low for several years, raising an equally beautiful and successful family. But it is time, I feel, to unveil to a waiting world my ultimate cinematic masterpiece.
Producers and sponsors are contacted, actors and thousands of attractive extras are hired, and in no time at all, Sex Explosion hits the theaters.
...
The film opens with a shot of several naked ladies posed in several exciting positions, such as on the roof, in a car, and upside-down. Then, without warning, they explode.
As this will be a family-oriented film, no gore will be involved in the explosions; just a lot of fire. For the next two hours, the scenario is repeated with many different settings, ladies, and explosions. From start to finish, theaters are packed, and the film brings in several trillion dollars in its first week of release. Most of this money is quickly donated to non-profit organizations as well as the desperately floundering US government, effectively eliminating the threat to the whales and the nightmarish national deficit in less than a week’s time.
Moving faster than a swarm of locusts through impoverished farmland, a Sex Explosion craze sweeps the nation, then the world. Through its tacit message of acceptance and understanding, and mind-blowing sex explosions, the movie brings peace to warring Middle-Eastern countries, and teaches children the value of growing up too fast.
Within weeks, a series of knock-offs such as “Sexplosion 3000" and “Raunchy Dynamite Mis-haps” rush into production. These hastily conceived films fail to generate the interest that Sex Explosion managed to capture, a fact which could probably be blamed on a few puzzling choices by the producers, such as the decisions to cast aging sun-worshipers as the naked leads, and to replace live-action explosions with still frames reading “boom.”
After the embarrassing flops of every other movie following-and preceding-it, no one is surprised when Sex Explosion sweeps the Academy Awards. Writes a recently re-animated Roger Ebert, “What? Where am I? What Year is it? Oh-the movie? The movie, of course. Yes, Sex Explosion was a scintillating epic journey that provided thrills and chills for the whole family-and there were naked ladies that exploded!”
In the years that follow, public support remains strong and audiences are wowed again and again by “Sex Explosion 2,” “Sex Explosion 3,” and “Sex Explosion 4: 3-D Jamboree.” Each successive film is approximately five times as great as the previous one, and together they revitalize the film industry and are able to wipe out hunger, AIDS, and cancer. The explosion has left its mark.
Unfortunately, years later, in a freak accident that makes headlines, the explosion leaves many other marks as well. Unsightly ones. In 2046 I myself am inadvertently sex-exploded while innocently sunbathing naked atop a condemned building, and receive burns and emotional wounds from which I never fully recover. I remove myself from the Sex Explosion business then, secluding myself from the public eye while cleverly remaining on the studio payroll, and live in peace for many more years with my husband in an enormous and well-decorated house.
THE END..