Alone..... Part VI..... the Epilogue
A/N: Here's the last little bit of this story, my semi-realistic RPS story of what could've been, but most likely only happened in my fantasies. Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback you've given me along the way. I think - of all the things I've written - this has touched me the most.
FYI: For those of you lucky enough not to know, DNR means do not resuscitate. This sign is put on the hospital room doors of patients who are terminally ill and in the final stages of life.
Ok, on that sad/happy note, on with the story....
Jake sighed a wistful, dreamy sigh....The warmth was back... Heath’s warmth. He felt it before Heath even said a word, enveloping him like a cozy cloud, and it comforted him like nothing else could. It settled in strongest against his side, like Heath was lying there next to him. Jake wondered if he could see him if he looked, but he was too weak to open his eyes.
Hey man... you still in there?
“Yeah... I think so... Is it time yet?”
Not quite, but almost..... Not long now, babe.....
“Thank God.......”
You’re ready, huh?
“Fuck yeah.... dying like this sucks.....”
I know... I feel like I’ve died all over again just watchin’ you....
“Makes me wonder if maybe you didn’t get off easy after all, goin’ quick like you did...”
Hmmm... Maybe dyin’ was easier, but everything else sucked ass .... I hurt a lotta people that loved me really bad.... You don’t get away from that kinda pain easy, man... It follows you, you know.......
“Mmmm... Yeah, guess I can see that.... I’m still fuckin’ pissed and it’s been goddamned fifty years....”
Yeah, see... and you aren’t the only one.... When you go, you’re gonna leave a buncha sad folks behind, but they got to love you for a whole lifetime, got to fill their hearts up with good memories, so even though they’re all sad and shit, it’s not like you’re rippin’ their hearts out.....
“Yeah, I know..... It’s better this way... the way it’s supposed to be.... It just hurts like shit.”
I’m sorry... It’ll be over soon...
“Losing you so young like that.... that hurt like shit too, you know? It wasn’t fair....”
It hurt me really bad too, for what it’s worth....
“Yeah... You missed your family.... and Matilda.....”
For sure! And you too...... I missed you every day, Jake.....
“Looks like you’re finally about to get me back........ Thanks for waitin’....
No prob, man..... You’re worth waitin’ for.....
“Glad you think so..... Pretty fuckin’ god-awful lookin’ right now..... can’t believe you even wanta touch me lookin’ like this.......”
Don’t even start with that sad shit, you goofball..... I quit lovin’ you for your looks ‘fore we even left Canada...... You’ve got a heart of gold and a fuckin’ beautiful soul, man.... That’s what I love about you most....
“Damn... and here I thought it was my big ol’ love sausage kept you hangin’ around all this time...”
Oh puhleeze, for the love of Christ..... You know I’m not that shallow! Swear to God I didn’t even start thinking about that till they put the DNR sign on your door.....
“I got one of those, huh?”
Yeah.....Time’s about up, babe....... You got any regrets?
“I don’t know...... maybe..... lotsa little ones. And I kinda regret that I never got brave enough to come out, you know, but after you died, didn’t seem to be any point....... I never wanted to be with another guy after you, and it woulda really hurt Reese and the kids..... Guess it was probably right just to keep all that to myself.”
Yeah..... maybe so. I wonder what we woulda done if I’d lived, when they started lettin’ people like us get married......
“I don’t know... I used to wonder that a lot too.... It woulda been a sweet life......”
Maybe, but I was such a dumbass, I woulda probably just fucked it all up........
“I wouldn’ta let you.... I’da kicked your ass back in bed and fucked you stupid till you got over whatever was making you crazy!”
Hehehehe.... Yeah, probably so.... We’da worn your dick out pretty quick, though...... I could put out a boatload a bullshit back in the day!
“Mmm...hmmm....”
You don’t have to agree......
I gave up lyin’ for Lent....
Very funny hahaha.....
“Hmmm....”
But it worked out ok anyways, didn’t it?
“What?”
Your life.... with her, I mean....
“Oh that...... Yeah, it was ok..... Sometimes I wonder if I did her wrong by marrying her, but maybe not...... She could’ve done a lot worse.... Like to think I just got her through a rough spot, got her to a point where she could find who she really needed....”
That’s how it works a lotta times, you know.... Folks aren’t always meant to be together forever..... Sometimes it’s just a means to a better end....
“Yeah, that’s what I told myself..... I mean, I loved her, you know I did, but never like I loved you.... We started out just as friends... I was just a shoulder for her to cry on. Neither one of us thought it’d ever be more than that..... didn’t even want it to be. But it was so easy, you know..... both of us so lonely..... We just fell into it over time, and then when you died, I didn’t care about any of that shit anymore.... I wanted kids, she was up for some more.... It wasn’t my dream, but it wasn’t bad either.... I’m not sorry......”
You shouldn’t be..... You guys were there for each other when you needed a friend, and when you didn’t anymore, you moved on...... That’s the way life goes.....
“Speakin’ a life goin’, I’m feelin’ awfully weak here, friend.....”
I know.... It’s ok..... Rest for a while.... I ain’t goin’ nowhere.......
“Wish I had that ol’ harmonica..... I’d play us a tune....”
Yeah, babe, that’d be sweet......
Silence blanketed the room, save for the sound of his faint, rasping breaths and the slow beeping of one lone machine.....
Hey... Close those pretty blues for a bit, huh? I’ll sing you a lullaby.....
“Be nice.... Not Water Walkin’ Jesus though, ’k?”
Dang.... I thought that was your favorite!
“Not me.... Jack......”
Ok.... well, how ‘bout this instead?
Jakes ears filled with the sweet sound of angel humming.....
Go to sleep, let your sweet dreams come true
Just lay back in my arms for one more night
I’ve this crazy old notion that calls me sometimes
Saying this one’s the love of our lives......
‘Cause I know a love that will never grow old.
And I know a love that will never grow old.
“Damn..... Haven’t heard that in a hundred years...... That’s from our movie too, isn’t it?”
You know it.... That was our song.......
“Mmmm.... it’s pretty.......”
More?
“Sure... nice to have my own angel serenade....”
Hmmm.... Glad you like it......
More humming....
When you wake up the world may have changed
But trust in me, I'll never falter or fail
Just the smile in your eyes, it can light up the night,
And your laughter's like wind in my sails.
‘Cause I know a love that will never grow old.
And I know a love that will never grow old.
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rutted old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.
‘Cause I know a love that will never grow old.
And I know a love that will never grow old.
*******
As the last note of Heath’s song fell still and silent in the wee hours of the morning in that cool, dim hospital room in Los Angeles, so did the monitor that had faithfully recorded the beating of Jake’s heart.
*******
Jake woke up slowly, coming to little bits at a time, his mind stirring, trying to put a name and a place to where he was and how he felt.... Nothing like when he’d gone to sleep, that’s for sure..... Nothing hurt, that awful smell was gone, and that annoying beeping that had bugged the shit out of him.... it was gone too. He couldn’t hear anything really, no voices trying to be quiet but failing, no shoes squeaking on the tile floor, no metal carts banging from the hallway.....
He listened harder......... He could hear birds singing..... and breathing..... someone was in bed with him...... Who? Jake felt heat behind him, then a warm touch glided over his hip. He looked down to see a hand he remembered from so long ago, had thought never to see again.....
“Oh my God..........”
“Welcome to Heaven, lover........” Heath murmured in his ear with a soft, happy chuckle as he wrapped his arms around him. “I’ve been waiting to say that to you for fuckin’ever! Damn, I can’t believe you’re finally here!”
Jake rolled on his back and stared up into Heath’s beautiful face, those same dark chocolate eyes, that same wide, quirky smile.... “Shit! I’m really here, aren’t I? I’m dead then?”
“Your old body’s dead, but you’re still alive. You’re still you. You feel like your same self, don’t you?”
Jake considered the question, ran a flash inventory of his thoughts and his feelings..... “Yeah, I guess so..... I mean, I’m not sick anymore.......” He looked down at his naked body and then grinned back up at Heath, “and I’m not old and funky anymore.....”
“That’s for damn sure,” Heath grinned, waggled his eyebrows and nudged him provocatively in the hip.....
“But I guess I’m still me otherwise.....”
“Trust me... you are. It takes a while gettin’ used to the way you feel here, ‘cause everything’s so different, but it’s the same too. You’ll get it all straight soon enough... I’ll help you.”
“Damn.... I can’t believe it. I’m finally here!”
“Yep.” Heath nuzzled his neck and Jake breathed him in, the same smells he'd fallen in love with so many years ago. Thinking of the past, his past, reminded him of his life.
“What about my family? How are they doin'?”
“They’re fine.... They’re sad, of course, but it was time... More than anything else, they’re just relieved that you’re not sick anymore. They’ve got it goin’ on for you down there.... A nice memorial service....... Big party planned for later to celebrate what an uber cool dude you were, you know how it goes.....”
“That’s nice...”
“Mmmm....” Heath ran his hands down Jake’s body, just touching though, nothing more, giving him comfort because dying was still dying, even if you were old and sick and ready. Even if you had the love of your life waiting when you woke up, it still took some getting used to, and Heath understood all that.
“Did they do it yet?”
“Do what, mate?”
“You know.... cremate me...”
Heath hugged him tighter, pressed a kiss on his shoulder. “Oh yeah, you’re swimming with the fishes.......”
Jake’s stomach tumbled and he flinched and grabbed on to Heath’s arm. “But I’m not, right? I’m here with you, aren’t I?”
Heath bit him and it stung. And felt good. “Oh yeah, you’re definitely here with me.”
“This isn’t just a dream, is it? I’m not gonna wake up and still be sick in that hospital, am I?”
“Un-uh... this is for real.” Heath raised up and searched his face with cautious eyes. “You don’t wanna go back, do you? You said you were ready.”
“No! I mean, yes, I was ready, I am ready, I want to be here with you.” Jake shook his head quickly, trying to override his confusion. “It’s just so weird, you know..... Like this is really real, not just some freaky thing you think about to keep from going crazy when you know you’re dyin’.... I’m really here... With you.”
“Mmm... hmmmm.....” Heath eased back down beside him, started kissing up his neck, pinched his nipple. Hard, just like he liked it. “This is your reward for bein’ a good boy all those years!”
Jake let himself relax some, enjoyed the sensation of being loved on, of his dick rising up in anticipation. He'd almost forgotten how good that felt. “My reward? Or yours?”
“Maybe both.... How long’s it been since you had sex?”
“Fuck, I don’t know.... A long fuckin’ time.......” Jake ran his hands up Heath’s arms as Heath crawled on top of him.....
“It’s been a helluva lot longer than that for me........” Heath straddled Jake’s legs and lay down on him and their dicks touched for the first time in so long, and even though everything might be different somehow, since the bodies they’d last loved with had both been turned to ashes and tossed away, the bodies they had now were just as real and just as good for making love.
Jake flexed his hips and their dicks slid together and it was perfect, just like before.... “Oh God, that feels so fuckin’ good.......”
“Mmm hmmm.......” Heath’s face hovered just over his, their eyes caught in the first awed looks of remembered and rediscovered bliss.... “I’ve missed this so much..... I’ve missed you so much....You got no idea how bad it gets........”
“The hell I don’t!” Jake grinned and grabbed his ass, pulled him tight for a heavenly grind...... “Guess we can have all the high altitude fucks we want now, huh?”
Heath smiled, whispered, “You bet,” and kissed him softly. “I love you, you know..... so much........”
Jake whispered “I love you too,” and sighed with pure happiness into their kiss, thankful to finally be back where he belonged, at home in his lover’s arms at last.
More from me.... We’ve really and truly reached the end of this story now. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.... Writing it has meant so much to me. While typing in the lyrics to the song, I went back and watched this vid on youtube. This was always my favorite song from the movie. I still love it and watching it while writing this story made me cry. So, watch with caution! Hugs to you all, and thanks so much for reading. S!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn64_y0A3PI