Meeting You Halfway - the Epilogue
Ok guys.... Here’s your epilogue. I think this is - really, really - the end of this not a story. Thank you so much for putting up with this detour. As you might recall, this all came about because I was trying to write an entry to the Five Things Challenge. I’m glad I was at least able to work the word Five into the title of this part... makes me feel a little better. I have no idea what you should look for next, BFF or the second half of BOBR, or maybe even something about Five Things, since that’s not over yet.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading. This chapter is dedicated to Andrea, grieving_pln, who has given me so much pleasure with her wonderful writing, and who I am worried about and sorely miss.
Five Years Down the Road of Life
It wasn’t easy, but then most things that were worthwhile weren’t. They’d been together for five years now - really together. Five years of goods and bads, ups and downs, just two people tryin’ to make a life, and succeedin’ for the most part, lotsa times in spite of themselves. The memories came back to Ennis as he drove home from the dude ranch that late summer Friday, his paycheck fat with his five year bonus, his heart a bit heavy because it was his last official day on the job, but he was moving on to better things - according to Jack. It was a bittersweet day.
***************
They’d spent that first night makin’ love.... real love, like he’d read about in the magazine, like he’d let himself dream about sometimes when he was goin’ to sleep at night and Jack was too far away and he was so lonely he felt like his heart might split in two from it. They’d stood in front of that window for a long time, just touchin’, gettin’ reacquainted with the smells of each others’ bodies and the textures of muscle and skin and hair. Ennis still remembered runnin’ his fingers across Jack’s chest, watchin’ it happenin’ in that ghost-like reflection in the window, the closest thing he’d ever come to seein’ what they did.
Up to that point..... Once Jack had got him comfortable with bein’ more adventurous in bed, later on down the line several months, Jack had rediscovered his love a performin’... might could take the rodeo cowboy outta the ring, but once he’d gotten an eyeful a himself ridin’ Ennis’s dick in the mirror of their bedroom, he’d become a star in a whole new arena. Ennis had even got him a special buckle after one particularly memorable ride.
But back to that night..... in Ennis’s mind, it was the beginning of the life he had now, and the true beginnin’ of their love affair, because up to then neither one of them had said the words, both scared for their own reasons, and that was the night that the walls had come crashing down. Ennis had led Jack back to bed without a word, seen the hesitation still there even after the words they’d spoken, and he’d done his best with his body to let Jack know that things were gonna be different, that he was different...... He’d taken his time, lingering to kiss until Jack was beggin’ for more, then workin’ his way down Jack’s body, kissin’ him in places he’d hardly even touched before, places he woulda never thought would excite Jack the way they did. By the time he got to Jack’s cock, he barely got to kiss it before Jack was pushin’ him away.... “It’s too much, Ennis.... wanna wait ‘n come when you’re inside a me.... What’re you doin’ to me, Cowboy.... you been takin’ lessons or somethin’?”
Ennis had just laughed and mumbled, “Secret....” ‘cause there was no way he was confessin’ he got his love-makin’ skills out of a how-to article in a ladies magazine.
Jack had just moaned and said, “Well if you ever decide to sell it, prob’ly make us rich....” Jack hadn’t said anything sensible after that, just his usual litany of profanity whenever his world was comin’ apart, which is apparently how it hit him when Ennis took it one step further, drifted his mouth down over Jack’s tight, hairy balls and lit into his asshole with his tongue. It was the most intimate thing he’d ever done with anyone, and something shifted inside of him when he tasted Jack’s body there, the warm, bitter musk of his most private place, and he realized then that if he could do this, he could do anything Jack needed, say anything he needed to hear. When he drove in deep minutes later, he kissed him again, then whispered the words Jack had been waitin’ for for so many years.... “I love you, Jack.... swear I do. Always have...... always will.”
After that, there was no lookin’ back.
Jack had done all the same things back to Ennis later on in the night, assurin’ him with words and deeds that he was well-loved, not on his own in this thing they had goin’. After they were done the second time, Ennis had asked Jack some questions about his other life, and Jack had answered them in what seemed to be an honest way.... he hadn’t spared Ennis any hurt, hadn’t prettied it up or made it less than it was. The other guy’s name was Randall - he called him Randy - and they’d been knockin’ around together for about a year. And yeah, when Randy had mentioned maybe leavin’ their wives and startin’ over together somewhere new, the idea had grabbed hold, not ‘cause he didn’t love Ennis no more, but ‘cause he was so ready for a chance at some kinda happiness, and he didn’t see no way to have that with Lureen or Ennis neither. No, he didn’t love Randy, but he liked him a lot, and he figured that was as good as he was ever gonna get.
Ennis had mulled that over for a while, fightin’ demons left and right, layin’ still and silent in Jack’s arms, till finally he said the only thing he figured he had the right to say. “Won’t say nothin’ ‘bout it again. Just know if you wanna be with me this way, I won’t be able to stand you bein’ with no other guys. It’s gotta just be you and me from here on out.”
“Need the same thing from you, Ennis. You won’t be with nobody else neither?”
Ennis hadn’t even needed to think about it. “Nah.... don’t give a shit about that no more no way. Just wanna be with you.”
“That’s the way it’s gonna be, then. Just you and me, Ennis... forever.” They’d kissed to seal the bargain, then fallen asleep, content in a way neither had ever been before.......
The first bit of dissention had come the very next night, after a day of riding and talking about this and that, nothing important, mostly just enjoying being outdoors, reveling privately in the newfound solidity of their relationship. It came up once they were in bed. Jack was kissing on Ennis, but they hadn’t quite gotten to the point of insanity just yet, and Ennis had something on his mind.
“What’re you gonna do?”
“Mmmm.... well, I was thinkin’ about maybe tryin’ that sixty-nine thang I been readin’ about in Penthouse magazine. Whoever shoots first’s gotta make breakfast in the mornin’!”
“Fuck Jack! I ain’t talkin’ about that! I wanna know what’re you gonna do about your life - about Lureen and Bobby....”
Ennis could almost see the happy burst right out of him as soon as he said those two names. “Fuck Ennis... I don’t know. We just got all this figured out. I ain’t had time to think on none a that yet. Hell, we done waited twenty years..... guess a few more weeks ain’t gonna matter.”
He’d tried to confuse Ennis with more kisses, but Ennis wasn’t about to let this go. He had a bad feelin’ about Jack goin’ back at all, wished he could figure out a way to keep him here and just get the divorce done my mail, but he knew that wasn’t gonna happen. But he wasn’t waitin’ weeks nor months neither. “Nah Jack. You need to get back up here soon. Just tell her something and get your shit and leave. Ain’t no point in draggin’ it out.”
“Maybe the money’s the point, Ennis. I done rode this bull for a lot longer’n eight seconds. I got a lot a myself invested in this. I wanna get my fair share out. We gonna need that money to get ourselves a place a our own!”
“I don’t want her Goddamned money!”
“Well it ain’t just her money no more. I been workin’ my ass off sellin’ tractors and combines for fifteen years. I got a right to some a that money too!” He was gettin’ upset, and Ennis couldn’t blame him. He wanted what was his, and that was reasonable.
“If that’s the case, then you’ll get it. Law’s the law. But I don’t want you down there hagglin’ around with her - just say your peace and get the hell back up here!”
“What the fuck, Ennis? You been blowin’ me off for fuckin’ ever, now you can’t wait three or four months?”
“No, I can’t wait. We gonna do this, we need to do it now!”
Jack must’ve sensed there was more to it than Ennis just being greedy, because he asked, words soft in the quiet of the night.... “You do trust me, doncha? You don’t think I’m gonna get into it with him no more, do you?”
If only that was it, but it wasn’t, instead something darker and more disturbing that Ennis couldn’t name. “No Jack, that ain’t it. I trust you... just got a bad feelin’s all. Want you back here with me so I’ll know you’re safe.”
Jack had laughed then, a low rumble that Ennis had felt all the way down to his heart. “Shit Ennis... you’re such a worry wart. Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to me. I’ll prob’ly live till I’m eighty.”
“Good.... That’s about forty more years, ‘n I want ‘em all, so get this shit cleaned up and get back up here pronto, ok?”
“You really worried?” Jack asked, staring at him eye to eye in the moonlight, and Ennis nodded, not even trying to keep anything out of his face. The days of that were over.
“Yeah.”
“What am I gonna do, Ennis? Where am I gonna live?”
“I don’t know. We’ll figure somethin’ out, though. Know you hate it, but maybe you could sell tractors in Denver for a spell. Least it’d be puttin’ food on the table.”
He didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded. “Yeah, guess that’s a possibility.”
Ennis hugged him tight. “Main thing is, get your ass back up here with me. All that other shit’ll take care a itself!”
“Ok. But just remember... no more beans!”
Ennis laughed. “Don’t worry. I had enough a you eatin’ beans to last me a life time!”
“Shut the fuck up, Ennis....” Jack grumbled, but when he poked his dick in Ennis’s mouth at the same time he returned the favor down below, all thought of beans and boyfriends and soon-to-be ex-wives was quickly relegated to another day.
Jack was normally a pillow-hugger, but the next morning he got up at the same time as Ennis, had a fine time teasing him while he drank his coffee and watched Ennis making their breakfast. Ennis stood it while he got eggs ready to scramble and bacon ready to fry, popped open the can of biscuits Jack had brought and arranged them on a beat up old cookie sheet he found in the drawer under the oven. He stood it till Jack came over for his second cup of coffee, slapped him hard on his back pocket and said, “Yeah, guess I figured you for havin’ more stamina than that.... I mean, damn Ennis, almost forty fuckin’ years old..... ‘bout to be too damn old for this shit anyway and here you can’t even go for two minutes!”
That taunt pushed him over the edge, and one second Jack was holdin’ his coffee cup, grinning at him like a monkey in a zoo, the next second the coffee cup was sailing through the air and Jack was shoved up against the counter with his jeans around his knees, staring down at the butter that Ennis had set out for their biscuits but which served another purpose just as well. Ennis sliced off an inch with his long fingers, slicked his dick up with it good and slid right into Jack - no preliminaries needed or wanted - gave him long, smooth buttery strokes up his ass - not too fast, not too slow.... just right.... matching them with his slick hand on Jack’s cock until Jack was moaning and bucking beneath him.... “Fuck Ennis, come on, give it to me Goddamn harder come on...” and Ennis upped the action, thighs like pistons driving his cock in and out of Jack’s hot, tight hole...
“This what you want, boy?” he grumbled, eyes closed tight and jaw clenched, determined to hang on if it killed him, and it nearly ‘bout did, especially when Jack went nuts, “Oh yeah fuck yeah that’s it Ennis oh shit Goddamn feels better’n anything....” and on and on, thrashin’ and jerkin’ beneath him till finally he shouted out something Ennis couldn’t even understand, but he understood the warm wet spurting through his fingers and the velvet clench around his dick... Those were the things he’d been holding out for, and as soon as he knew he’d done what he set out to do, he let himself go, caught the next wave of passion building in his own body and rode it all the way to glory, emptying deep inside Jack.... deep inside the body of the man that he loved.......
Questions of stamina tabled for the moment, Ennis went right back to cooking breakfast like nothing strange had happened. Jack had still seemed mostly full of himself, but Ennis figured that was just his nature and that was fine by him. After breakfast and showers, Ennis asked Jack what he wanted to do that day, and Jack has said he wanted to go see the place where Ennis was going to be working. Ennis got an automatic cramp in his gut at those words, but he quelled it, knew that’d be a huge step in the wrong direction if he let on to Jack that he was nervous about showing up there with him. He reminded himself that they were officially on a fishing trip. The guy at the store had bought it. Why shouldn’t the guys at the ranch?
So they’d loaded up in Ennis’s beat up old truck and driven over to the place, just under an hour, not talking much along the way, just enjoying the scenery. When they got there, Ennis drove past the big lodge of a house, around back to the huge barn, just in time to catch the dudes gearing up to go on a trail ride. He and Jack got out of the truck and Ennis spied Curtis, the cowboy he’d met when he’d driven down for his interview a few weeks earlier. Curtis had a pained look on his face, even more pained than his normal hangdog expression, and Ennis understood why real quick, as it was pretty obvious mosta these folks had never even touched a horse before.
They took one look at him ‘n Jack, in their beat up old cowboy hats and boots, and Jack walkin’ bowlegged like he’d been born on a horse - which he almost had, but that had nothing to do with the way he was walking at the moment - and within about a minute they were both sucked into tightenin’ girths and untanglin’ reins.
At one point, Curtis sidled up close enough to grumble, “Sure would be nice to have some help. Raymond took sick today. Just me. These folks don’t know a horse from their arse!” When Ennis had butted into Jack flirting with a cute little gal ‘bout half their age and asked him if he wanted to tag along... “I gotta go with ‘em... Curtis is by hisself,” Jack had said sure. Ennis got them a couple of horses from the barn while Jack stayed busy helping Curtis get the paying customers ready to ride.
Doug, the owner, was on hand to meet them when they got back late that afternoon. Once the customers had finally finished helping them unsaddle the horses and scattered back to their cabins at last, he’d introduced himself to Jack. “I’m Doug Preston, owner of the place. Thanks for helping out. Kinda in a bind right now for employees.”
One thing had led to another, and when he found out Jack was planning to move up that way pretty soon, he’d offered him a job. “All the staff cabins are either occupied or gettin’ remodeled. Got the bunkhouse, or s’pose you could bunk with Ennis if one a ya’ll don’t mind sleepin’ on the sofa.”
Jack had looked at Ennis then, eyes full a hope and tamped-down excitement, and Ennis hoped it wasn’t showing in his face too, but that was just how he was feelin’ on the inside. At that time in their life, they couldn’ta asked for a more perfect opportunity to get dropped into their lap. Ennis had nodded ok, Jack had said yes in the space of a heartbeat, and just that quick the deal was done. They’d spent the rest of the afternoon unloading Ennis’s few boxes from the back of his truck, unpacking his clothes and other personal belongings - a few pictures of his girls, and a cigar box that he took from Jack and stuck in a drawer before he could think to open it.... full of Jack’s old postcards and other things he’d kept as mementos of their trips together.
Maybe some day he’d show it to him, but today he felt a little shy about it, so he stuck it away and avoided the subject by asking Jack which side of the closet he wanted.
****************
They’d spent the rest of that weekend peacefully, cooking steaks on the grill that night, making love one last time in their moonlit loft, then up early the next morning to pack and hit the road. Jack had promised Doug he’d be back in a week, and while it hurt Ennis to watch him drive away, he swallowed it down and reminded himself it was just one more week. Surely nothing bad would happen...... surely it wouldn’t.
It hadn’t... at least not the bad stuff Ennis had been afraid of, but Jack wasn’t the same when he came back, was sad and beat down and it didn’t pass after a couple of weeks like Ennis had figured it would. Ennis understood, knew all about the pain of leavin’ everything behind and startin’ over, and Jack had left a lot.... his son and his nice house and his good job.... a wife Ennis knew he hadn’t loved in a long time and a lover he hoped to God he’d never loved.... Now he was sharing a small bed with a lumpy mattress in an airy cabin, workin’ his ass off, gettin’ calluses where he hadn’t had any in a long time, eatin’ chuck wagon fare most days... none a them fancy sales dinners like he was used to no more.
One night, when he couldn’t stand it any more, Ennis asked him, “You sorry? You wanna go back?”
Jack was layin’ on his side, facing the wall. He didn’t say anything at first, and Ennis’s guts clenched up, waitin’ to hear something awful. But after a long, tense minute, he rolled over on his back and stretched his hand out across Ennis’s belly. “Nah Ennis, don’t wanna go back. Just missin’ Bobby, I guess.... and hell, just tryin’ to figure myself out. Almost forty damn years old and right back where I started.”
“You can always find yourself another job, Jack. You ain’t like me - you can do other stuff.”
Big sigh. “Yeah, I know... Don’t really wanna do nothin’ right now, though. Just give me some time to get my head in the game, Ennis. I ain’t regrettin’ comin’ here, promise you that..... but it’s just all different, you know, and I gotta figure out where I fit in.”
“Ok.... take your time. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”
“No you ain’t,” Jack whispered back, then proceeded to climb on top of him and make sure he couldn’t move so much as an inch for the next little while. After that night, things started gettin’ better, Jack perked up and life eventually got good.
When the divorce finally went through and Jack got his papers and his check in the mail, he showed it to Ennis, and they talked about what to do, but decided to wait for a while, put some time in at the ranch before they made any moves. Life continued on as before through the winter, until spring came and brought with it a flurry of business, including a sales retreat put on by the owner of the biggest farm equipment dealership in the state. By the time he left, Jack had a new job in Denver.
Jack commuted for the first year, stayed in the little cabin with Ennis. Doug never said a word except, “That’ll be fine, sure hate to see you go but you can’t pass this up, I know. Would be nice if you could lend a hand on the weekends when we need it,” and Jack had been more than happy to oblige.
Once the commissions started coming in pretty regular and Jack felt like they could handle a mortgage, he started in on Ennis to look for a place of their own. After a few weeks of stewing about it - because Ennis knew he wouldn’t ever bring in enough money to pay his fair share - he gave in, decided his pride could take the backseat for once to something he knew would make them both happy in the long run. Doug set them up with a friend of his who was a realtor, and after a couple months of searching, they found just what they were looking for.... fifty acres with a small house needin’ some work and a big barn that was in pretty good shape. The folks were old and movin’ to Atlanta to be near their kids. They even threw in their old mare and a couple of barn cats to sweeten the deal.
****************
That was three years ago. Since then, they’d done a ton of work on the house, remodeling the old kitchen and bathroom and building on a big deck that gave them a spectacular view of the mountains. They’d put up miles of fencing and done some work on the barn. They were ready. Today was Ennis’s last day working for somebody else. Startin’ Saturday morning, thanks to Jack’s faith in him - and his never-endin’ badgerin’ - he was gonna be workin’ for himself..... still helping Doug with his horses, but workin’ with some of the other ranches too, boardin’ extras, buying and trainin’ new stock, even giving some ridin’ lessons when he had the time. He was gonna be busy, for sure, already knew that - felt pretty good about the money he could make.... never woulda thought it’d be possible for a high school drop out, good for nothin’ ranch hand like himself, but it was amazing what you could do when you had somebody standin’ behind you, pushin’ you on, guardin’ your back.
For sure, things hadn’t always been easy for him and Jack. It had been awkward at first for Ennis, them livin’ together - ‘specially Jack stayin’ on even after he got his new job and had to drive so far every day, but if Doug ever thought anything about them bein’ so close, he never said a word about it. They’d gotten more than a few funny looks along the way from other folks, heard some whispers they woulda been happy to miss, but nobody’d ever threatened ‘em yet, and while Ennis still harbored some fear in his heart, he tried to keep it buried deep where it couldn’t do any damage. Jack loved him - told him so almost every day in one way or another - and that was worth more to him than anything. Tonight they were gonna celebrate - five good years together and the start of something new, and as Ennis tromped up the steps to let himself into their house, he sent up a humble prayer of thanks for everything they had, and especially for Jack having the courage to give him one more chance.... for meeting him halfway.