Way, way too much going on...
I've really done it. I had a dream last night in which I was supposed to provide dinner for some large number of people and the hour arrived without the food being ready. The dinner was planned, but not cooked. Things that were to be baked for an hour hadn't gone in the oven. I was frantically trying to make it all come together, but couldn't turn back time. At an earlier stage in my life, I had a dream of driving my car down steep hills and feeling like it would crash any moment. This recent dream is similar; both are reflecting the out of control quality of my life right now.
I try really hard to say yes, rather than no. I don't do this without consideration, but the reality is that even in middle-age, I underestimate how long tasks take and how much thought and planning they require. And then there's the fact that life happens in clumps and this is a clump time--one clump on top of the recent fall holiday clump.
Just writing this calms me a bit. I can recognize that I've been here before. That this too will pass. Deadlines will come and go--either stuff will be ready or not.
I was going to make a list, but I think I will do that on paper.
I try really hard to say yes, rather than no. I don't do this without consideration, but the reality is that even in middle-age, I underestimate how long tasks take and how much thought and planning they require. And then there's the fact that life happens in clumps and this is a clump time--one clump on top of the recent fall holiday clump.
Just writing this calms me a bit. I can recognize that I've been here before. That this too will pass. Deadlines will come and go--either stuff will be ready or not.
I was going to make a list, but I think I will do that on paper.