A Brief Parable of my life...
I have always thought of myself as a dreamer and a traveller on a highway.
Getting to different exits.
Enjoying the pit stops.
Meeting people.
Getting back on the SAME road. The monotone of driving on the same straight road guided with various roadsigns. My only guide is where I am dropping off next. Then, I would be back on the roads again.
Sometimes I get people wanting to pimp my ride.
Sometimes they are nice (they pay for the petrol and each hour), sometimes they are just apathetic, and some others are just leeches.
My destinations have so far been more abstract and very surreal. Just like dreams that fade away when one is awake.
Things that seemed too good never was meant to last.
Some things that are bad always seemed to leave a stain. Plaguing me back into the fear of breaking free.
Freedom comes with a price.
Freedom requires a lot of courage.
Just as waking up to reality when dreams can offer so much for so little.
As I once again embark on my next journey, leaving the fammiliar faces and familiar places, I feel a sense of regret. Yet, I know my journey has to go on.
A nagging feeling in my heart just tells me to go on. It might be useless to carry on as I have realized that all I have been doing was driving in circles.
The only difference is the circular radius keeps getting bigger and bigger. Yet, I am no where near my destination, I am no where near the centre of the circle.
Perhaps I have to journey to the furtherst ends of the circle to find my way back.
Perhaps I would never find my way back.
Yet, the veins behind my back seem to tingle and tell me to go on. To just take the road and drive.
To just see all the places visited as destinations on their own right en passe and to just accept my role as a driver.
It comes to a certain junction of the roads where I will mature and start to live with less and keep the passenger seats empty to get more people to where they should be or where they want to go. I am not sure if they too realize that they are moving in circles.
But the main point isn't the destination. The main point is the experiance of driving.
Of moving from one place to the other. No matter what means neccesary. Even if I have to desert my car. My body will be a vessel. My heart will lead the way. My soul will decide if I am already there.
Sidney X
August 18, 2006
1533
Getting to different exits.
Enjoying the pit stops.
Meeting people.
Getting back on the SAME road. The monotone of driving on the same straight road guided with various roadsigns. My only guide is where I am dropping off next. Then, I would be back on the roads again.
Sometimes I get people wanting to pimp my ride.
Sometimes they are nice (they pay for the petrol and each hour), sometimes they are just apathetic, and some others are just leeches.
My destinations have so far been more abstract and very surreal. Just like dreams that fade away when one is awake.
Things that seemed too good never was meant to last.
Some things that are bad always seemed to leave a stain. Plaguing me back into the fear of breaking free.
Freedom comes with a price.
Freedom requires a lot of courage.
Just as waking up to reality when dreams can offer so much for so little.
As I once again embark on my next journey, leaving the fammiliar faces and familiar places, I feel a sense of regret. Yet, I know my journey has to go on.
A nagging feeling in my heart just tells me to go on. It might be useless to carry on as I have realized that all I have been doing was driving in circles.
The only difference is the circular radius keeps getting bigger and bigger. Yet, I am no where near my destination, I am no where near the centre of the circle.
Perhaps I have to journey to the furtherst ends of the circle to find my way back.
Perhaps I would never find my way back.
Yet, the veins behind my back seem to tingle and tell me to go on. To just take the road and drive.
To just see all the places visited as destinations on their own right en passe and to just accept my role as a driver.
It comes to a certain junction of the roads where I will mature and start to live with less and keep the passenger seats empty to get more people to where they should be or where they want to go. I am not sure if they too realize that they are moving in circles.
But the main point isn't the destination. The main point is the experiance of driving.
Of moving from one place to the other. No matter what means neccesary. Even if I have to desert my car. My body will be a vessel. My heart will lead the way. My soul will decide if I am already there.
Sidney X
August 18, 2006
1533