Sideways
I guess I should make a 'creative' journal, eh?
Title: Sideways (1/?)
Pairing: Idina Menzel/Jennifer Laura Thompson
Rating: PG
Author:
Heather
Disclaimer: Don't know Jen. Don't know Idina. Wish I did. They're both married. But still fucking Yada yada yada.
Summary: The following takes place on January 8th, 2005. It's told from Jennifer's POV, and inspired by actual events.
Notes: Lyrics by Matt Caplan.
Dedication: To Jennifer Laura Thompson and Shoshana Bean for inspiration, and being the strongest women on broadway. To Idina for, well, "melting" into inspiration. To
Kimmie for kicking my ass and making me write. To
Jackie, for love and toothbrushes. To
Cristen for being with me, and most importantly being there for me, through all of my worry and fear. To each and every one of my girls whom I'd either been with or spoken to during that weekend. And to Matt Caplan, for giving me such a beautiful song.
Lost my train of thought around Chicago
Found a little solace where you lay
Never made collages as a young child
Not that much to see, so much to say
The silence was deafening. A few whispers. Silence. She cupped her hand over her mouth, unsure of what to do. The curtain fell, as her heart broke in two. She let the silence comfort her, as her tears ran down her cheeks, causing her makeup to smear.
What happened? Is she okay? What the hell am I supposed to do?
She threw herself to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. All she wanted was to know that her friend was okay. That her best friend was okay. She sobbed quietly, the light from the audience shining through below the curtain. The light reflected the tears falling to the ground, and she made certain to wipe them up with the bottom of her dress. She pounded her fist against the black floor, the pain echoing throughout her body.
She sat in silence, unsure of what to say. Unsure of what to think. All her happiness shattered across the blackness of the stage.
Now even in this silence there's a thunder
And rain that steals the breath beneath this cage
And at least I've got your memory to soothe me
This bitter poison ripening with age
It's so cliche - the show must go on. The show must go on, but that doesn't mean it'll be good.
Locked inside her thoughts of happiness with her best friend, she continued. She let a few of her tears escape, but only with a smile to accompany them. She got through this for Idina - because of Idina. She could hear the whispers in her earpiece:
It doesn't look good.
What do you mean, it doesn't look good?
I mean I don't think she's going to be able to perform toni--
She blocked them out. She had to. After taking her final bow, she sprinted from the stage. Blue diamonds, to be profound, filled her eyes. She wanted to be strong, but strong wasn't exactly working.
What the fuck does that mean, anyway? Strength? How can I be strong when the strongest person I know isn't here with me?
She sat in a chair facing the wall, her head in her hands.
How am I supposed to be me without you?
Because everything I've ever done I've done because I love you,
Silly you should ask
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need you
Bring me down and I'll feel again
Everything I've ever done I've done because I love you,
Sideways
Sideways
She sat in her dressing room, fiddling with one of the makeup sponges. She started at photographs of the two of them, then her cell phone, and then the door. What she'd wanted to hear was that it was nothing and she was just arriving, they'd have to delay the show in order to greenify her best friend. Startled by a tap, her eyes zoomed to the door. She stayed silent.
Jen, are you o----
GO. AWAY.
But it's fifteen minutes til you're supposed to be Glinda the good---
GO. AWAY. NOW.
Stay strong, Jennifer. Please. At least, for those kids, who came here to see Idina --
I said leave me alone. Please. Just let me be.
She sobbed out loud, letting every tear she'd try to hold back flow off her cheeks. She watched her foundation seep into the tissues that she held to her eyes. She pounded her fist against the table, standing up.
UGH! WHY THE FUCK DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TODAY?
She screamed, collapsing on the floor. She let the silence overwhelm her as she tried to catch her breath. She needed the hope to get in costume. To stop hurting. To go on.
She took a deep breath, and pulled herself together. She knew what she had to do.
I'll be damned if I'm weak. She's the strongest person I know and --
She looked at the photograph that she placed on the edge of her mirror, from Halloween. She smiled, the first real smile she'd let escape her lips.
And she's the single greatest person I've had in my life. And I am not going to fuck it up.
Lost my patience well before West 4th Street
Found a copper coin said "Seize the Day"
And I let the angry audience surround me
Hiding as I screamed "Give more to play"
She took the stage, and as much as she had wished it was Idina she was singing those songs with -- she did her job. She made herself numb to anything real, and turned her world into Oz. And she made sure not to click her heels.
Title: Sideways (1/?)
Pairing: Idina Menzel/Jennifer Laura Thompson
Rating: PG
Author:
Heather
Disclaimer: Don't know Jen. Don't know Idina. Wish I did. They're both married. But still fucking Yada yada yada.
Summary: The following takes place on January 8th, 2005. It's told from Jennifer's POV, and inspired by actual events.
Notes: Lyrics by Matt Caplan.
Dedication: To Jennifer Laura Thompson and Shoshana Bean for inspiration, and being the strongest women on broadway. To Idina for, well, "melting" into inspiration. To
Kimmie for kicking my ass and making me write. To
Jackie, for love and toothbrushes. To
Cristen for being with me, and most importantly being there for me, through all of my worry and fear. To each and every one of my girls whom I'd either been with or spoken to during that weekend. And to Matt Caplan, for giving me such a beautiful song.
Lost my train of thought around Chicago
Found a little solace where you lay
Never made collages as a young child
Not that much to see, so much to say
The silence was deafening. A few whispers. Silence. She cupped her hand over her mouth, unsure of what to do. The curtain fell, as her heart broke in two. She let the silence comfort her, as her tears ran down her cheeks, causing her makeup to smear.
What happened? Is she okay? What the hell am I supposed to do?
She threw herself to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. All she wanted was to know that her friend was okay. That her best friend was okay. She sobbed quietly, the light from the audience shining through below the curtain. The light reflected the tears falling to the ground, and she made certain to wipe them up with the bottom of her dress. She pounded her fist against the black floor, the pain echoing throughout her body.
She sat in silence, unsure of what to say. Unsure of what to think. All her happiness shattered across the blackness of the stage.
Now even in this silence there's a thunder
And rain that steals the breath beneath this cage
And at least I've got your memory to soothe me
This bitter poison ripening with age
It's so cliche - the show must go on. The show must go on, but that doesn't mean it'll be good.
Locked inside her thoughts of happiness with her best friend, she continued. She let a few of her tears escape, but only with a smile to accompany them. She got through this for Idina - because of Idina. She could hear the whispers in her earpiece:
It doesn't look good.
What do you mean, it doesn't look good?
I mean I don't think she's going to be able to perform toni--
She blocked them out. She had to. After taking her final bow, she sprinted from the stage. Blue diamonds, to be profound, filled her eyes. She wanted to be strong, but strong wasn't exactly working.
What the fuck does that mean, anyway? Strength? How can I be strong when the strongest person I know isn't here with me?
She sat in a chair facing the wall, her head in her hands.
How am I supposed to be me without you?
Because everything I've ever done I've done because I love you,
Silly you should ask
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need you
Bring me down and I'll feel again
Everything I've ever done I've done because I love you,
Sideways
Sideways
She sat in her dressing room, fiddling with one of the makeup sponges. She started at photographs of the two of them, then her cell phone, and then the door. What she'd wanted to hear was that it was nothing and she was just arriving, they'd have to delay the show in order to greenify her best friend. Startled by a tap, her eyes zoomed to the door. She stayed silent.
Jen, are you o----
GO. AWAY.
But it's fifteen minutes til you're supposed to be Glinda the good---
GO. AWAY. NOW.
Stay strong, Jennifer. Please. At least, for those kids, who came here to see Idina --
I said leave me alone. Please. Just let me be.
She sobbed out loud, letting every tear she'd try to hold back flow off her cheeks. She watched her foundation seep into the tissues that she held to her eyes. She pounded her fist against the table, standing up.
UGH! WHY THE FUCK DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TODAY?
She screamed, collapsing on the floor. She let the silence overwhelm her as she tried to catch her breath. She needed the hope to get in costume. To stop hurting. To go on.
She took a deep breath, and pulled herself together. She knew what she had to do.
I'll be damned if I'm weak. She's the strongest person I know and --
She looked at the photograph that she placed on the edge of her mirror, from Halloween. She smiled, the first real smile she'd let escape her lips.
And she's the single greatest person I've had in my life. And I am not going to fuck it up.
Lost my patience well before West 4th Street
Found a copper coin said "Seize the Day"
And I let the angry audience surround me
Hiding as I screamed "Give more to play"
She took the stage, and as much as she had wished it was Idina she was singing those songs with -- she did her job. She made herself numb to anything real, and turned her world into Oz. And she made sure not to click her heels.