Dec 18, 2006 08:32
All I can say is that I am hoping things will look up from here.
It feels like this last week was definitely my lowest point; and, personally, I don't feel like I can fall any lower. I am sure there is a way, and I am sure as a family or as a whole we may plummet a little more, but, emotionally and mentally I feel like I have hit rock bottom. I am hoping things will look up from here.
My flight leaves tonight. I didn't exactly have room for everything, and I didn't know what else to do, so I am having to leave somethings. But, really, I won't need them in Oklahoma. I am having to leave my pillows--which makes me sad, because they are comfortable pillows--but, I tried everything I could think of, and there just wasn't any room. It turns out pillows take up an awful lot of space.
Last night certainly didn't feel like my last night, but I think it resonated some how. I mean, at the time I didn't feel like it would be the last night I would spend here, but, now I think I had some closure. I know that doesn't really make a lot of sense, but it is the only way I can describe it, really.
The good news: I am lucky, at least, that the flight will be fast--if the events leading up to it may be slow. And, I would have liked for someone to have been able to drive up and get me--maybe a little more of a concrete, or tangible end to my time here--but, I am grateful that I will be home soon. I feel like everything has to pick up. I feel like it can only get better. I feel like it has to.
It has to or all of us are going to lose ourselves.
So, I guess I haven't lost hope, because I am hoping things will look up from here.
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