everybody has a weird day
i've been feeling so anxious lately.
the feeling just consumes me and
i couldn't put my finger
on why i felt so disjointed. i chalked it up to the weather.
i almost slipped on the sidewalk to the laundry room
because the snow was packed down so hard, it was like
ice skating, without the skates.
thats life lately.
skating around on unsure footing.
i have decided to start doing something.
something to help change my outlook.
i was reading my old entries and i'm glad i never deleted this journal.
it was nice re-reading my life a couple of years ago,
through such an optimistic, hopeful way of thinking.
the way i used to always expect something exciting and noteworthy to happen to me each and every day. and even if it wasn't so eventful, i would find something beautiful to write about. maybe thats what i've been missing. my writing.
i think i'll take it up again. i always felt so much lighter and happy when i had some sort of outlet for my crazy emotions and abstract thoughts.
i've lost something of myself this last year.
i've become so bitter and cynical of everything, everyone.
i used to at least give you the benefit of a doubt.
i've become so quick to judge. quick to defend.
but i'm gonna get it back: my optimism.
maybe it's this last birthday.
i'm twenty and don't have much to show for myself.
or maybe it's because mitch and i decided that instead of twisting and turning in bed trying to fall asleep, to just stay up instead and be in each others company. share in the feeling of drowsiness. maybe it was a way of fasting.giving way to a new sense of self. maybe i just needed a different point of view, something out of my ordinary life.
the feeling just consumes me and
i couldn't put my finger
on why i felt so disjointed. i chalked it up to the weather.
i almost slipped on the sidewalk to the laundry room
because the snow was packed down so hard, it was like
ice skating, without the skates.
thats life lately.
skating around on unsure footing.
i have decided to start doing something.
something to help change my outlook.
i was reading my old entries and i'm glad i never deleted this journal.
it was nice re-reading my life a couple of years ago,
through such an optimistic, hopeful way of thinking.
the way i used to always expect something exciting and noteworthy to happen to me each and every day. and even if it wasn't so eventful, i would find something beautiful to write about. maybe thats what i've been missing. my writing.
i think i'll take it up again. i always felt so much lighter and happy when i had some sort of outlet for my crazy emotions and abstract thoughts.
i've lost something of myself this last year.
i've become so bitter and cynical of everything, everyone.
i used to at least give you the benefit of a doubt.
i've become so quick to judge. quick to defend.
but i'm gonna get it back: my optimism.
maybe it's this last birthday.
i'm twenty and don't have much to show for myself.
or maybe it's because mitch and i decided that instead of twisting and turning in bed trying to fall asleep, to just stay up instead and be in each others company. share in the feeling of drowsiness. maybe it was a way of fasting.giving way to a new sense of self. maybe i just needed a different point of view, something out of my ordinary life.