(no subject)
i hate feeling like some dumb boy is everything in the world to me. i hate it even more that i know he really is right now. nothing is really as important to me right now as he is. that makes me feel really weak and pathetic. I get really scared and jealous of him and other girls and where he goes and what he does. when did i become so insecure? i suppose it was when i let myself start revolving around him. well if i let myself loose control of myself i should be able to talk it back right? i can become whole on my own again can't i? because odds are against me. chances are that he is not going to be my center for ever. i can't crumble without him. i need to be ok with myself. i dont know how to do that. it's so hard to say these things when i used to be so strong, or maybe i never was i just always wanted to be...