Daymare
But alas I am not any better emotionally. If I did not have the honor and burden of being Alyssa's Dad I would end my life.
She is all that keeps me going. Only she and I went to my sisters for T.G., no Kass this year, I had mixed guilt, but it was so much less stressful w/o Kass.
What an adventure tonight. I am in so much pain right now, but the codeine make me have insomnia, not to mention the pan in my toes and feet and both elbows and my knuckles. I had not fallen down in over a year. I usually fall down about every six months, so I was over due. I had finish picking up Alyssa at B-Ball practice and I just slid on my slippers (not solid sole) to go up and pick her up. Well we parked in the garage and she went in the house. Me being a bit slower started toward the 3 step to get into the laundry room. Well maybe it was me being tired or the soft soled slippers my foot only made it to just past the toes and my foot slipped off. All my balance went forward and I tried to catch my balance but it was the slow motion falling and the thoughts of broken bones and dislocations, but luckily I landed face first and my knuckles scraped the concrete floor and my elbow bent more than they have in many a year. my left foot toe bent backward and either they are sprained or broken. three middle toes and the big toe. pinky made it out unscathed. As I lie there I did an inventory and I found that none of the prosthetics were dislocated. I did bump my forehead, so I want to get Alyssa's attention before if I possible would pass out. So I yelled out. Well she was worried right away when she opened the door. She saw the blood on my knuckles. She took my glasses and my hat, the hat I think stopped me from getting a big scrape on my head. I was so weak and tired and sore that I knew she could not left me this time. She has a hard time she I am healthy and lifting from the grass or the sand on the beach. Needless to say I do not spend much time on the ground voluntary. She call my neighbor Dennis and he can over and lifted me and held me to get into the house. He is a big lumberjack guy. He said it reminder him of his dad how had MS. So I am going to hurt like a son of a B tomorrow. My elbows are aching from the forced flexing upon trying to slow down the fall.
Have I told you I hate gravity.
So now it is almost one and I wonder what kind of life am I providing for my daughter. Finding me on the floor. Will someday she come home and that is were she will find me expired. It is not fair for her. I am going to have to give up some stubbornness and get a ramp build. I am getting worse.
Another day if the adventure that is me.
She is all that keeps me going. Only she and I went to my sisters for T.G., no Kass this year, I had mixed guilt, but it was so much less stressful w/o Kass.
What an adventure tonight. I am in so much pain right now, but the codeine make me have insomnia, not to mention the pan in my toes and feet and both elbows and my knuckles. I had not fallen down in over a year. I usually fall down about every six months, so I was over due. I had finish picking up Alyssa at B-Ball practice and I just slid on my slippers (not solid sole) to go up and pick her up. Well we parked in the garage and she went in the house. Me being a bit slower started toward the 3 step to get into the laundry room. Well maybe it was me being tired or the soft soled slippers my foot only made it to just past the toes and my foot slipped off. All my balance went forward and I tried to catch my balance but it was the slow motion falling and the thoughts of broken bones and dislocations, but luckily I landed face first and my knuckles scraped the concrete floor and my elbow bent more than they have in many a year. my left foot toe bent backward and either they are sprained or broken. three middle toes and the big toe. pinky made it out unscathed. As I lie there I did an inventory and I found that none of the prosthetics were dislocated. I did bump my forehead, so I want to get Alyssa's attention before if I possible would pass out. So I yelled out. Well she was worried right away when she opened the door. She saw the blood on my knuckles. She took my glasses and my hat, the hat I think stopped me from getting a big scrape on my head. I was so weak and tired and sore that I knew she could not left me this time. She has a hard time she I am healthy and lifting from the grass or the sand on the beach. Needless to say I do not spend much time on the ground voluntary. She call my neighbor Dennis and he can over and lifted me and held me to get into the house. He is a big lumberjack guy. He said it reminder him of his dad how had MS. So I am going to hurt like a son of a B tomorrow. My elbows are aching from the forced flexing upon trying to slow down the fall.
Have I told you I hate gravity.
So now it is almost one and I wonder what kind of life am I providing for my daughter. Finding me on the floor. Will someday she come home and that is were she will find me expired. It is not fair for her. I am going to have to give up some stubbornness and get a ramp build. I am getting worse.
Another day if the adventure that is me.