Room 7, Carriage House, Sunday morning

[side_spook]

All the lights were on again. The stereo was on, and though she wasn't really listening, she'd occasionally catch a word or two of the songs as they drifted by.

. . . turn all the bright lights up,
turn the radio up loud.

There were times when she wondered if she had some kind of unconscious musical power. . . .She still remembered everything.

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[walter_n_wires]

At some point late in the morning, Walter walked to the Carriage House from Blenner's flat and up to Nadia's room.

He'd promised her that he'd come back, so he didn't stop by his room before seeing her. Which meant that his clothes were still a bit damp and quite rumpled.

But he was there.

He held the door in place when he knocked.

[side_spook]

The thing with sitting in windows was, you saw everyone coming. From her room, she'd only been able to tell that Walter looked rumpled, which had her worried. She knew Alucard had been in bad shape when she'd found him. She wondered if they'd at least been able to get out, after she--

There was a bit of a pause between the knock and the response while she tried to get herself under control again.

"It's open, Walter,"

[walter_n_wires]

Walter pushed the door open. "I know." He was determined to put the worst of the other world behind him like a dream. "I seem to have a habit of cutting up your doors."

[side_spook]

Nadia looked over, taking in his unkempt state, then turned to lean her head against the window frame again. "I don't mind. How . . . is he okay?"

She almost didn't want to know. But she'd tried to save him, too. She didn't know what that meant, but she suspected it meant something.

[walter_n_wires]

"Are you?" He had a feeling the answer would be the same for both of them, in their own ways.

"The three people I saw die, aren't. I have to take that as the victory in this."

[side_spook]

"Three--" Her breath cut short into a sob and she started to shake again. They hadn't even made it out. She'd tried so hard to at least fix that, and they hadn't even made it out. . . .

[walter_n_wires]

Walter was at her side in an instant. "Three. And none of you are dead now, and I can't say how grateful I am."

[side_spook]

The shaking continued, and she turned to lean into him. "It's all my fault. Because I couldn't--I can't--let you go. . . ."

[walter_n_wires]

Walter put his arms around her and sighed heavily. He was hearing It's all my fault in more than one place and he didn't know how to make either of them stop it.

"No. You remember the possession. I wanted to blame myself, but I couldn't have known what was going to happen any more than you could."

[side_spook]

"I'm sorry," Was she apologizing for taking the blame? For reminding him of that other horrible weekend?

For him having to watch three people he cared about die?

". . . It hurts." Everything hurt. "I can't make it bright enough. I thought . . . if at least you two had gotten . . ." She had to stop talking, stop reminding him of why it really was her fault so he wouldn't leave. She clamped her jaw shut and just held on.

[walter_n_wires]

"I'm sorry." Walter held her and tried not to remember the glass or the creature or Pippi smiling at him while she died.

He didn't have the right words. He didn't know if there could possibly be any right words.

"Thank you. I don't want you to ever do it again, ever, but thank you for trying."

[side_spook]

They needed something--not happy, that wasn't a word she'd be able to use for a long time--something pleasant.

"I dreamed. Last night, before . . ." Before the nightmares had started. "A little girl. All muddy."

[walter_n_wires]

"You did?" Walter thought Bailey and the Lobster Noise were two things in his life almost always guaranteed to get at least a bit of a smile from him, even today. "What did you see?"

[side_spook]

She didn't remember much of it. "She was beautiful. Always smiling. Too smart for her own good."

[walter_n_wires]

"I told you she was beautiful." Walter closed his eyes and pictured Bailey when he'd met her in Fandom. It didn't seem fair that Nadia didn't remember. But then again, she'd gotten a peek at least. "She looks like her mum."

[side_spook]

Nadia didn't feel like a mum. She didn't feel like she was put together well enough to be one. "She was fast, too, wasn't she. She was really . . . ours."