(no subject)
i really dont feel the need for friends anymore, it just always turns into lack of maturity. i dont feel the need for human attension. i do not want anyone to bother me. i am content with all this vexation. i do not need to live outside of me; for i need to live inside. i need to figure myself out, before i fucking figure everyone else out. i am but a soul among trillions. i am nothing but a angst teen in denial. i need mike to help me find myself, find who i am, and find where the fuck im headed. my lifestyles are horrible. and i need to fix myself up. i have a short period of time to get fucking real. because right now, im far from the truth, infact my life is a fucking lie.
i need to find something to occupy my worthless time on earth. as the thought of eradictation relieves me, i am sure it harms some. i need something that will keep me from hurting myself, and from hurting others. music is one thing ive adopted as a "life savior", but i cannot lay in my bed and listen to music the rest of my fucking existence. i need mike.
to be blunt, i am utterly terrified of dying. not know whether or not i will end up with this insane mind the rest of eternity, or just not being there or not being here. i mean what the fuck happens. where does this mind go. i want to feel the most excruciating pain right before i die. right before i die, i want my last word to be "you". right before i die, i want to see mikes eyes. i want to live in black. and i just want to be in another world. i hate my mind sometimes, but sometimes i love it. i am addicted to thinking. i have way too much perception. and i own a huge gallery of thoughts on death. sometimes i think, i just want to leave. im still here though... but what really is here.
i need to find something to occupy my worthless time on earth. as the thought of eradictation relieves me, i am sure it harms some. i need something that will keep me from hurting myself, and from hurting others. music is one thing ive adopted as a "life savior", but i cannot lay in my bed and listen to music the rest of my fucking existence. i need mike.
to be blunt, i am utterly terrified of dying. not know whether or not i will end up with this insane mind the rest of eternity, or just not being there or not being here. i mean what the fuck happens. where does this mind go. i want to feel the most excruciating pain right before i die. right before i die, i want my last word to be "you". right before i die, i want to see mikes eyes. i want to live in black. and i just want to be in another world. i hate my mind sometimes, but sometimes i love it. i am addicted to thinking. i have way too much perception. and i own a huge gallery of thoughts on death. sometimes i think, i just want to leave. im still here though... but what really is here.