The end of a date
The end of a date. Now it seems to me no matter HOW you end a date it will be awkward. I'm talking first date here. (since none of you prolly know) Now the date started with him picking me up at my house. So he greets me and kisses me on the cheak. Now what the hell is that in the first place?? This isn't france! I'm not french! Why are you kissing my cheak, i hardly know you. So we go out to dinner, go to a movie, talk a ton, things go real well. But then there is the drive back to my place. The thoughts of 'oh my god is he going to try and kiss me.' I mean he's a great guy and all i just didn't want that. So he pulls into my area and i think he started mumbling something to himself, but i don't even know what it was. He wasn't going to park, but then kinda reversed and pulled into a spot. So i said something like 'thanks , bye , talk to you monday'. But now my head is like 'why did you say that?' 'did that sound lame?'. But i have no idea what else i woulda said or did. I just felt like a complete idiot. And still do cause my head just won't forget the awkward moment. Plus i have no one to tell it to cause brian ain't home. Oh the other thing is i let him pay for everything. I think i was suppose to offer to pay, but i hate being fake like that caus ei KNOW he'll insist on paying. I hate dating, it's ridiculous. It shouldn't exist. Brian said it's the price i'll hafta pay to find a husband. But this is just too stressful. I like it when *I* make the first moves. I did with Evan, and Scott and Joe for that matter i believe. Yes i did. Well i think a woman should always make the first moves, cause you know a guy will just do anyone, so it should by the chic that makes the move. Too stressfull. I mean everything was great except the ending and the paying. We talked a ton. Lots in common. Don't feel the exact sparks or anything, but he was a great person to talk to. If there was no beginning or end,, and no awkard pay thing, then dating would be great. I'd do it a lot. I'd ask everyone to go out. Hell i woulda asked Dave out if he wasn't in a 3 year relationship. And maybe that woulda been even better. Cause i coulda paid. Since i was the askee. ARgh... I hate dating. I think i've mentioned that. I gotta stick with the whole friends then couple thing. Well... I'm trying to think of evan and scott. I don't think i ever felt wierd or uncomfortable with them cause everything just seemed perfect. But maybe i'm wrong and don't remember. I know joe was awkward, positive chris was. I think i was head over heels for both evan and scott before i even kissed them. See that's the way it should be!!! I am babbling on and on. I just feel like an idiot and the saying bye seen is replaying in my head over and over and over. I need to turn on a tv or something. Think i'll go do that. Adios