Melancholy
Title - Melancholy
Author - sid_vicious_03
Rating - PG13
Pairings - Eames/Arthur
Word count - 3075
Warnings - suicide, cursing, depression
Disclaimers - I don’t own Inception or any of the characters, sadly.
Notes - I have a tendency to write depressing stuff... sadly...
Summary - Eames constantly wakes up in the middle of the night because Arthur moving. But he has never paid any attention to it. he had just turned around and fallen asleep again the second after. But one night he didn't fall asleep again, and after barely a couple of minutes he hears Arthur gasp out and struggle for air. When Eames looks to Arthur, he sees that he's dreaming. Five minutes later, Arthur gasps again and wakes up. Before returning back into the dream.
~*~
Eames plan had started simple, although he could never believe of himself he would actually go through with it. So he actually felt a bit guilty about it. But it was easy to ignore the guilty feeling because the worry was a lot more discomforting and had all of his focus. Because he should have known how long this had been going on.
He had woken up so many times at night because Arthur slid out of his grip. But what had he done? He had just turned around or shifted onto his stomach, mumbling some to himself and fallen asleep. It barely took a couple of seconds. He had never had a problem to fall asleep, and people often envied him because of it. He had never had insomnia for a day in his life.
But that didn’t count for when he was a bit sick, he had forgotten that. But who would remember it if it was the first time in five years that you where sick? And how could he fall asleep, if he was freezing because he was slightly feverish, the bedroom was cold and his personal radiator had gone missing.
Arthur had slipped out of his grip and of the bed. Waiting a couple of seconds as if he was waiting for Eames to fall asleep again. Eames didn’t, but he was far too lazy to move around, so instead he just pulled the sheet more over himself and curled together, trying really badly to fall asleep again.
And just when he thought that he was getting close to falling asleep again, Arthur disturbed him by gasping out loudly. Spending the next couple of minutes sounding as if he had an asthma attack before his breathing calmed down again. Eames really wanted to get out of the bed and go over to him, ask him what was wrong but his body was still not obeying him and he felt so cold that he started to wonder if he hadn’t frozen stuck.
Once Arthur had calmed down fully, he shifted a bit, laid down again in the arm chair and it was then that Eames noticed the Pasiv. The whole act repeated itself for about ten more times before Arthur stopped, hid away the Pasiv and crawled back in bed with Eames, getting under his arm and curled together. And it was then that Eames started to feel the worrying feeling in his stomach.
The next day when Eames woke up, he found the bed empty and looked around for Arthur before he heard him stumble around in the kitchen. Eames slid out of the bed and hoped that he had actually had a normal dream. But he still checked under the bed and found the Pasiv. He sucked on his lower lip, then pushed it back before he got up, heading for the kitchen where he found Arthur preparing some omelets and drinking of his coffee.
Eames didn’t say anything yet, he just watched Arthur, his movements, the look in his eyes. Just feeling worried about him now. What was so important that he needed to get up in the middle of the night and hook himself up to the Pasiv, repeatingly during the night. He knew they weren’t so good at sharing things about one another to the other, but he thought he deserved to know something like that.
‘’Arthur?’’ Eames said softly, hearing Arthur hum a soft reply as he was finishing the preparation of that god awful coffee of his. Eames sucked on his lower lip, then spoke up. ‘’Is there nothing you would like to tell me?’’ He asked then, Arthur just gave him a surprised gaze, then he shook his head and looked back to the coffee.
‘’No.’’ He said simply and poured the coffee in a cup. Eames could see that he wanted to drink from it already. But the liquid was still too warm and he would burn his tongue on it.
‘’You sure?’’ Eames said then, hoping Arthur would speak up now.
‘’Yeah I’m sure. Why?’’ Arthur asked and looked to Eames, stroking the edge of the coffee cup with his fingers. A habit he always had when he couldn’t drink something, Eames found it rather cute but had never told Arthur so.
‘’Because darling, sometimes, it becomes hard to share with our work. And, I don’t want that to happen to us.’’ Eames said, keeping his gaze on Arthur as he nervously rubbed his own fingers. But Arthur just shook his hair.
‘’There is nothing to tell so there is nothing to worry about.’’ Arthur said and kissed Eames on his cheek as he walked past him, giving the too hot coffee a try, just to growl a curse under his breath.
But that night Arthur did get out of the bed, pulled out the Pasiv from under the bed and started it, pushing the needle into his wrist. Five minutes later Arthur was gasping for air again.
Eames saw his chance when Arthur had fallen asleep again. He got out of the bed and shifted Arthur a bit, sitting down behind him and let Arthur sleep against his chest. A position they often had when they shared dreams. But this time was the first time he was hesitating, wondering if it really was a good idea. But he pressed the needle into his wrist, falling asleep a second later.
*
It was a dream he had never been in before. Eames was standing at the top of a sky scraper which at the sight seemed endlessly high, but he could see the ground just when he moved away. There was a strong wind that could knock Eames of the building if he wasn’t prepared like it. And the bits of sky he could see where in a red color mixed with brown. Then he saw Arthur look down the building at the other side, he hadn’t even noticed that Eames joined him in his dream.
‘’I never thought you could dream up something like this.’’ Eames said, shoving his hands down in the pockets of his jogging pants, finding that he should have dreamt up something warmer, but Arthur hadn’t bothered to do so, just being dressed in his pajama pants and a t-shirt on.
Arthur turned around and gave Eames an upset glare, mixed with fury that he had never seen in his eyes, almost a murderous glare. Then he walked forward and gave Eames a hard push in his chest which made him stumble back, surprised of the force.
‘‘You can’t be here! This is my dream and only mine! Get out now.’’ Arthur yelled and once more hit Eames on his chest, and he kept hitting him. Surprisingly hard before Eames managed to grab a hold of Arthur’s wrists and made him stop. And much to his surprise, it caused Arthur to break out sobbing. And barely a second later he was hiding in Eames chest, crying his heart out.
Eames only got more worried, directly letting go of Arthur’s wrists and wrapped his arms around Arthur and would let him cry out until it all had eased up together and he had calmed down.
‘’Sht, its okey darling, its okey.’’ Eames tried, feeling terrified and for once hoped he wasn’t lying. He often lied, rarely to Arthur but it happened. And he hoped this wouldn’t be one of those moments. Because he had never seen Arthur cry before, and the few times he had imagined it, he had thought Arthur would still have some form of control over him. And not act like he had lost it all completely.
‘‘Darling what’s wrong?’’ Eames asked and stroked Arthur’s cheek, trying to make the other man look at him but Arthur just refused to look him in his eyes. Mumbling to himself before he in the end shot his devastated gaze to Eames. Managing to send chills down his back from both worry and frustration. He just wanted to know what upset him this much.
‘’You are wrong!’’ Arthur yelled to Eames and pushed himself away from his grip. And it seemed that the push also made it sting in Eames chest, but he didn’t say so. ‘’You are not supposed to be here! This is my dream and my dream only you get that! I don’t want to share this with you! You weren’t supposed to know!’’ Arthur screamed to Eames, which only made Eames a bit more nervous, and he was also starting to doubt this was his Arthur.
‘’Darling what are you talking about?’’ Eames asked, wanting to get closer to Arthur but for each step towards him he took, Arthur took one back. Avoiding his every touch and gaze.
‘’This is my dream.’’ Arthur murmured, hugging himself now but kept his gaze on Eames, moving if he got to close.
‘’I know that darling.’’ Eames said, sounding surprisingly calm for judging how he felt, he guessed he really was a great actor. He didn’t feel nearly as calm as he sounded. ‘’I’m not here to steal it from you, I just wanted to know what you dreamt of everything.’’ Eames said, and more wasn’t needed, Arthur suddenly got a very busted look over himself, mobbing his gaze down as if he was a beaten puppy. And if Eames wasn’t mistaken, his eyes got glossy again in preparation to cry. ‘’Arthur?’’
Arthur licked his lips and looked up to the sky. There was a thunder now without rain, and that suited him fine. He didn’t want to get wet even if it was a dream.
‘’I come here every night Eames, to jump of this building, and each time when I wake up I become disappointed that I wake up.’’ Arthur said, Eames remained silent, wanting to talk up but he had no idea what to say. Arthur just rubbed his face and snickered a bit. ‘’Just because I’m too much of a coward to do it in reality.’’ He added very slowly.
‘’You come here to kill yourself?’’ Eames guessed, getting a small nod from Arthur. Eames moved over to him and pulled Arthur in a hug, he wouldn’t allow him to get away now. He wouldn’t let go of him, Arthurs struggle lasted only for a minute, but his body still felt incredibly tense. ‘’Darling, why wouldn’t you tell me?’’ Eames questioned him, stroking his hair now but for not much longer. Arthur once more broke free out of his grip by giving Eames a hard push in his chest.
‘’Do you think it’s easy!?’’ He yelled to him. ‘’Do you think it’s easy to tell someone about this feeling? This feeling inside, something controlling you, enabling you from being happy? The feeling something is going to eat you from the inside. First your stomach, then your kidneys before it moves over to your lungs, then to your heart? The chocking feeling of not being able to breathe and want to rip open your throat just to get oxygen? To feel the need to stick a knife in your arm down to the bone and drag it down, cracking the bone open! Think that’s easy to tell someone who’s never had a problem in their life?!’’ Arthur yelled to Eames, making him lose his temper a bit.
‘’Of course it’s not easy, I never said that!’’ Eames yelled, seeing Arthur flinch from some it and it made him want to soften up. But he couldn’t. ‘’Bloody hell Arthur. I already was worried about you, and then you say it was nothing and then I find out you kill yourself over and over in your dreams. Christ!’’ Eames said, placing one hand on his hip and let the other one slide into his hair, turning around since he needed a minute.
‘’I don’t kill myself over and over.’’ Arthur’s voice was small and weak, almost nonexistent. Eames figured it was because of the stress.
‘’Don’t you dare lying to me Arthur, Because you do. You kill yourself over and over, this is round two for the evening, and yesterday you had eleven rounds, eleven Arthur!’’ Eames said loudly and looked back to him. Arthur just bit on his lower lip and looked away. Then tears started running down his cheeks, which definitely made Eames soften up. So he walked over t him and pulled him back in his embrace.
‘’Why are you so miserable darling?’’ Eames dared to ask after a very long silence, hoping Arthur would dare to tell him and that his body would relax a little bit more against his own.
‘’It runs in my family.’’ Arthur said simply and shrugged very lightly in Eames grip, Eames nearly rolled his eyes, how could something like that run in the family.
‘’In what way?’’ he asked then, sounding more careful then Arthur did. Just because he could hear a the tone of his voice that he would break out in tears again if he said the wrong thing, and the wrong thing could be anything really. Arthur just sighed heavily and tensed up again.
‘’My mom got depressed and threw herself in front of a train, my dad drinks and my brother… I really don’t want to talk about this Eames.’’ Arthur said, tensing up more and more for each word he spoke.
‘’Okey okey.’’ Eames said on a calm tone, stroking Arthurs back with light fingers, letting silence fall down over them and feel how Arthur once more relaxed. ‘’But darling, you have to promise me, that once we wake up. You don’t have to tell everything to me even if I’d like to, but that you at least would tell someone who’s a therapist, a professional talker.’’ Eames said and looked to Arthur who just nodded lightly.
Eames fell silent again, just holding Arthur close to himself and stroked his back with light fingers. Then Eames dared to speak again. ‘’You are not mixing up reality and dreams because of this are you?’’ Eames asked carefully, all the constant switching would eventually make him confused, and eventually he would throw himself of a building in reality. Arthur shook his head.
‘’No Mr. Eames, I am fully aware that this is a dream and when I jump of this building and land on the pavement. Then I will wake up in reality in the armchair by the window. In the apartment that you always crash. This building is just a dream and a daydream.’’ Arthur said simply, Eames nodded, then kissed Arthur on top of his head.
‘’Well, after having heard those suicide plans, consider me moved in. I’m not letting you stay another night on your own.’’ Eames said, moving his lips to Arthurs temple. Which caused the other man to smile weakly.
‘’So you are crashing my apartment permanently?’’ Arthur asked on a low tone, Eames just smiled and kissed Arthur’s lips very softly. The point man barely reacted, but he probably had to much to think of anyway.
‘’I wouldn’t think of it that way.’’ Eames hummed before he gave Arthur another light kiss, then leaned back so he could look at him. ‘’I’m moving in with you.’’ Eames said on a low tone, once more making Arthur smile weakly in return.
‘’Would you really want to live with me now? Now that you know what’s going through my head? Because, I get like this in reality to.’’ Arthur said, and Eames could hear on the tone of his voice that he was scared.
‘’Darling, I know more than anything that I want to move in with you.’’ Eames said, making sure Arthur had his gaze on him all time. Then when he had gotten the small nod from the point man, he made it simple and kissed him on his head again.
‘’Eames?’’ Arthur then asked carefully, Eames just hummed in reply and kept his eyes on Arthur. ‘’Let’s wake up together.’’ Arthur suggested, hoping Eames would nod as a reply, which he did. Arthur moved out of his grip and took Eames hand before leading him to the edge of the building, there was no other way to get out. So once Eames also was standing at the edge of the building, Arthur sneaked back into the grip from him.
‘’Your call darling, I won’t let go.’’ Eames said, stroking his fingers slightly through Arthurs hair. It took Arthur two minutes to gather the courage of shifting his body weight so he would pull Eames with him down the building.
When Arthur woke up again in reality, he didn’t shoot up, gasping for air and clutching at his throat. All of that just because he was calm when he died. Eames was with him the second they hit the pavement and that made him calm. But much to Arthur’s despair, he noticed he had been crying in his sleep. And he didn’t notice he was laying in Eames arms before he groaned and shifted around a bit, but still kept his arms around Arthur.
Arthur just shifted into a more comfortable position and hid in Eames chest, closing his eyes and tried to relax to the soft stroking of his hair.
‘’Arthur?’’ Eames then murmured, Arthur just stroked the skin on Eames arm as a sign that he was listening. He was too exhausted to use words while speaking. ‘’When you talk to the mind shrinkler, the professional talker, then you might leave out the detail that you repeatingly kill yourself in your dreams, I don’t want them to lock you up.’’ Eames finished, hearing Arthur chuckle very weakly in return.
*
One week later, Arthur already had two meetings up with a therapist and nearly chickened out on both if it wasn’t for Eames literally pushing him through the door. But Arthur had thanked him an hour later. And when they got home Arthur nearly freaked out on Eames for owning so much stuff and leaving it all in the boxes in the hallway. Eames Excuse was that he wanted them to unpack together, and he apologized for owning more stuff then Arthur did.
Two weeks later the boxes were thrown away. Every last thing had its own place somewhere in Arthurs apartment, and Eames was still working hard on remembering where it all was. But most importantly, Arthur told Eames more then he told his therapist, and for Eames, it couldn’t be any better.
~*~
Hope you all liked it, and comments are very appreciated :3
Author - sid_vicious_03
Rating - PG13
Pairings - Eames/Arthur
Word count - 3075
Warnings - suicide, cursing, depression
Disclaimers - I don’t own Inception or any of the characters, sadly.
Notes - I have a tendency to write depressing stuff... sadly...
Summary - Eames constantly wakes up in the middle of the night because Arthur moving. But he has never paid any attention to it. he had just turned around and fallen asleep again the second after. But one night he didn't fall asleep again, and after barely a couple of minutes he hears Arthur gasp out and struggle for air. When Eames looks to Arthur, he sees that he's dreaming. Five minutes later, Arthur gasps again and wakes up. Before returning back into the dream.
~*~
Eames plan had started simple, although he could never believe of himself he would actually go through with it. So he actually felt a bit guilty about it. But it was easy to ignore the guilty feeling because the worry was a lot more discomforting and had all of his focus. Because he should have known how long this had been going on.
He had woken up so many times at night because Arthur slid out of his grip. But what had he done? He had just turned around or shifted onto his stomach, mumbling some to himself and fallen asleep. It barely took a couple of seconds. He had never had a problem to fall asleep, and people often envied him because of it. He had never had insomnia for a day in his life.
But that didn’t count for when he was a bit sick, he had forgotten that. But who would remember it if it was the first time in five years that you where sick? And how could he fall asleep, if he was freezing because he was slightly feverish, the bedroom was cold and his personal radiator had gone missing.
Arthur had slipped out of his grip and of the bed. Waiting a couple of seconds as if he was waiting for Eames to fall asleep again. Eames didn’t, but he was far too lazy to move around, so instead he just pulled the sheet more over himself and curled together, trying really badly to fall asleep again.
And just when he thought that he was getting close to falling asleep again, Arthur disturbed him by gasping out loudly. Spending the next couple of minutes sounding as if he had an asthma attack before his breathing calmed down again. Eames really wanted to get out of the bed and go over to him, ask him what was wrong but his body was still not obeying him and he felt so cold that he started to wonder if he hadn’t frozen stuck.
Once Arthur had calmed down fully, he shifted a bit, laid down again in the arm chair and it was then that Eames noticed the Pasiv. The whole act repeated itself for about ten more times before Arthur stopped, hid away the Pasiv and crawled back in bed with Eames, getting under his arm and curled together. And it was then that Eames started to feel the worrying feeling in his stomach.
The next day when Eames woke up, he found the bed empty and looked around for Arthur before he heard him stumble around in the kitchen. Eames slid out of the bed and hoped that he had actually had a normal dream. But he still checked under the bed and found the Pasiv. He sucked on his lower lip, then pushed it back before he got up, heading for the kitchen where he found Arthur preparing some omelets and drinking of his coffee.
Eames didn’t say anything yet, he just watched Arthur, his movements, the look in his eyes. Just feeling worried about him now. What was so important that he needed to get up in the middle of the night and hook himself up to the Pasiv, repeatingly during the night. He knew they weren’t so good at sharing things about one another to the other, but he thought he deserved to know something like that.
‘’Arthur?’’ Eames said softly, hearing Arthur hum a soft reply as he was finishing the preparation of that god awful coffee of his. Eames sucked on his lower lip, then spoke up. ‘’Is there nothing you would like to tell me?’’ He asked then, Arthur just gave him a surprised gaze, then he shook his head and looked back to the coffee.
‘’No.’’ He said simply and poured the coffee in a cup. Eames could see that he wanted to drink from it already. But the liquid was still too warm and he would burn his tongue on it.
‘’You sure?’’ Eames said then, hoping Arthur would speak up now.
‘’Yeah I’m sure. Why?’’ Arthur asked and looked to Eames, stroking the edge of the coffee cup with his fingers. A habit he always had when he couldn’t drink something, Eames found it rather cute but had never told Arthur so.
‘’Because darling, sometimes, it becomes hard to share with our work. And, I don’t want that to happen to us.’’ Eames said, keeping his gaze on Arthur as he nervously rubbed his own fingers. But Arthur just shook his hair.
‘’There is nothing to tell so there is nothing to worry about.’’ Arthur said and kissed Eames on his cheek as he walked past him, giving the too hot coffee a try, just to growl a curse under his breath.
But that night Arthur did get out of the bed, pulled out the Pasiv from under the bed and started it, pushing the needle into his wrist. Five minutes later Arthur was gasping for air again.
Eames saw his chance when Arthur had fallen asleep again. He got out of the bed and shifted Arthur a bit, sitting down behind him and let Arthur sleep against his chest. A position they often had when they shared dreams. But this time was the first time he was hesitating, wondering if it really was a good idea. But he pressed the needle into his wrist, falling asleep a second later.
*
It was a dream he had never been in before. Eames was standing at the top of a sky scraper which at the sight seemed endlessly high, but he could see the ground just when he moved away. There was a strong wind that could knock Eames of the building if he wasn’t prepared like it. And the bits of sky he could see where in a red color mixed with brown. Then he saw Arthur look down the building at the other side, he hadn’t even noticed that Eames joined him in his dream.
‘’I never thought you could dream up something like this.’’ Eames said, shoving his hands down in the pockets of his jogging pants, finding that he should have dreamt up something warmer, but Arthur hadn’t bothered to do so, just being dressed in his pajama pants and a t-shirt on.
Arthur turned around and gave Eames an upset glare, mixed with fury that he had never seen in his eyes, almost a murderous glare. Then he walked forward and gave Eames a hard push in his chest which made him stumble back, surprised of the force.
‘‘You can’t be here! This is my dream and only mine! Get out now.’’ Arthur yelled and once more hit Eames on his chest, and he kept hitting him. Surprisingly hard before Eames managed to grab a hold of Arthur’s wrists and made him stop. And much to his surprise, it caused Arthur to break out sobbing. And barely a second later he was hiding in Eames chest, crying his heart out.
Eames only got more worried, directly letting go of Arthur’s wrists and wrapped his arms around Arthur and would let him cry out until it all had eased up together and he had calmed down.
‘’Sht, its okey darling, its okey.’’ Eames tried, feeling terrified and for once hoped he wasn’t lying. He often lied, rarely to Arthur but it happened. And he hoped this wouldn’t be one of those moments. Because he had never seen Arthur cry before, and the few times he had imagined it, he had thought Arthur would still have some form of control over him. And not act like he had lost it all completely.
‘‘Darling what’s wrong?’’ Eames asked and stroked Arthur’s cheek, trying to make the other man look at him but Arthur just refused to look him in his eyes. Mumbling to himself before he in the end shot his devastated gaze to Eames. Managing to send chills down his back from both worry and frustration. He just wanted to know what upset him this much.
‘’You are wrong!’’ Arthur yelled to Eames and pushed himself away from his grip. And it seemed that the push also made it sting in Eames chest, but he didn’t say so. ‘’You are not supposed to be here! This is my dream and my dream only you get that! I don’t want to share this with you! You weren’t supposed to know!’’ Arthur screamed to Eames, which only made Eames a bit more nervous, and he was also starting to doubt this was his Arthur.
‘’Darling what are you talking about?’’ Eames asked, wanting to get closer to Arthur but for each step towards him he took, Arthur took one back. Avoiding his every touch and gaze.
‘’This is my dream.’’ Arthur murmured, hugging himself now but kept his gaze on Eames, moving if he got to close.
‘’I know that darling.’’ Eames said, sounding surprisingly calm for judging how he felt, he guessed he really was a great actor. He didn’t feel nearly as calm as he sounded. ‘’I’m not here to steal it from you, I just wanted to know what you dreamt of everything.’’ Eames said, and more wasn’t needed, Arthur suddenly got a very busted look over himself, mobbing his gaze down as if he was a beaten puppy. And if Eames wasn’t mistaken, his eyes got glossy again in preparation to cry. ‘’Arthur?’’
Arthur licked his lips and looked up to the sky. There was a thunder now without rain, and that suited him fine. He didn’t want to get wet even if it was a dream.
‘’I come here every night Eames, to jump of this building, and each time when I wake up I become disappointed that I wake up.’’ Arthur said, Eames remained silent, wanting to talk up but he had no idea what to say. Arthur just rubbed his face and snickered a bit. ‘’Just because I’m too much of a coward to do it in reality.’’ He added very slowly.
‘’You come here to kill yourself?’’ Eames guessed, getting a small nod from Arthur. Eames moved over to him and pulled Arthur in a hug, he wouldn’t allow him to get away now. He wouldn’t let go of him, Arthurs struggle lasted only for a minute, but his body still felt incredibly tense. ‘’Darling, why wouldn’t you tell me?’’ Eames questioned him, stroking his hair now but for not much longer. Arthur once more broke free out of his grip by giving Eames a hard push in his chest.
‘’Do you think it’s easy!?’’ He yelled to him. ‘’Do you think it’s easy to tell someone about this feeling? This feeling inside, something controlling you, enabling you from being happy? The feeling something is going to eat you from the inside. First your stomach, then your kidneys before it moves over to your lungs, then to your heart? The chocking feeling of not being able to breathe and want to rip open your throat just to get oxygen? To feel the need to stick a knife in your arm down to the bone and drag it down, cracking the bone open! Think that’s easy to tell someone who’s never had a problem in their life?!’’ Arthur yelled to Eames, making him lose his temper a bit.
‘’Of course it’s not easy, I never said that!’’ Eames yelled, seeing Arthur flinch from some it and it made him want to soften up. But he couldn’t. ‘’Bloody hell Arthur. I already was worried about you, and then you say it was nothing and then I find out you kill yourself over and over in your dreams. Christ!’’ Eames said, placing one hand on his hip and let the other one slide into his hair, turning around since he needed a minute.
‘’I don’t kill myself over and over.’’ Arthur’s voice was small and weak, almost nonexistent. Eames figured it was because of the stress.
‘’Don’t you dare lying to me Arthur, Because you do. You kill yourself over and over, this is round two for the evening, and yesterday you had eleven rounds, eleven Arthur!’’ Eames said loudly and looked back to him. Arthur just bit on his lower lip and looked away. Then tears started running down his cheeks, which definitely made Eames soften up. So he walked over t him and pulled him back in his embrace.
‘’Why are you so miserable darling?’’ Eames dared to ask after a very long silence, hoping Arthur would dare to tell him and that his body would relax a little bit more against his own.
‘’It runs in my family.’’ Arthur said simply and shrugged very lightly in Eames grip, Eames nearly rolled his eyes, how could something like that run in the family.
‘’In what way?’’ he asked then, sounding more careful then Arthur did. Just because he could hear a the tone of his voice that he would break out in tears again if he said the wrong thing, and the wrong thing could be anything really. Arthur just sighed heavily and tensed up again.
‘’My mom got depressed and threw herself in front of a train, my dad drinks and my brother… I really don’t want to talk about this Eames.’’ Arthur said, tensing up more and more for each word he spoke.
‘’Okey okey.’’ Eames said on a calm tone, stroking Arthurs back with light fingers, letting silence fall down over them and feel how Arthur once more relaxed. ‘’But darling, you have to promise me, that once we wake up. You don’t have to tell everything to me even if I’d like to, but that you at least would tell someone who’s a therapist, a professional talker.’’ Eames said and looked to Arthur who just nodded lightly.
Eames fell silent again, just holding Arthur close to himself and stroked his back with light fingers. Then Eames dared to speak again. ‘’You are not mixing up reality and dreams because of this are you?’’ Eames asked carefully, all the constant switching would eventually make him confused, and eventually he would throw himself of a building in reality. Arthur shook his head.
‘’No Mr. Eames, I am fully aware that this is a dream and when I jump of this building and land on the pavement. Then I will wake up in reality in the armchair by the window. In the apartment that you always crash. This building is just a dream and a daydream.’’ Arthur said simply, Eames nodded, then kissed Arthur on top of his head.
‘’Well, after having heard those suicide plans, consider me moved in. I’m not letting you stay another night on your own.’’ Eames said, moving his lips to Arthurs temple. Which caused the other man to smile weakly.
‘’So you are crashing my apartment permanently?’’ Arthur asked on a low tone, Eames just smiled and kissed Arthur’s lips very softly. The point man barely reacted, but he probably had to much to think of anyway.
‘’I wouldn’t think of it that way.’’ Eames hummed before he gave Arthur another light kiss, then leaned back so he could look at him. ‘’I’m moving in with you.’’ Eames said on a low tone, once more making Arthur smile weakly in return.
‘’Would you really want to live with me now? Now that you know what’s going through my head? Because, I get like this in reality to.’’ Arthur said, and Eames could hear on the tone of his voice that he was scared.
‘’Darling, I know more than anything that I want to move in with you.’’ Eames said, making sure Arthur had his gaze on him all time. Then when he had gotten the small nod from the point man, he made it simple and kissed him on his head again.
‘’Eames?’’ Arthur then asked carefully, Eames just hummed in reply and kept his eyes on Arthur. ‘’Let’s wake up together.’’ Arthur suggested, hoping Eames would nod as a reply, which he did. Arthur moved out of his grip and took Eames hand before leading him to the edge of the building, there was no other way to get out. So once Eames also was standing at the edge of the building, Arthur sneaked back into the grip from him.
‘’Your call darling, I won’t let go.’’ Eames said, stroking his fingers slightly through Arthurs hair. It took Arthur two minutes to gather the courage of shifting his body weight so he would pull Eames with him down the building.
When Arthur woke up again in reality, he didn’t shoot up, gasping for air and clutching at his throat. All of that just because he was calm when he died. Eames was with him the second they hit the pavement and that made him calm. But much to Arthur’s despair, he noticed he had been crying in his sleep. And he didn’t notice he was laying in Eames arms before he groaned and shifted around a bit, but still kept his arms around Arthur.
Arthur just shifted into a more comfortable position and hid in Eames chest, closing his eyes and tried to relax to the soft stroking of his hair.
‘’Arthur?’’ Eames then murmured, Arthur just stroked the skin on Eames arm as a sign that he was listening. He was too exhausted to use words while speaking. ‘’When you talk to the mind shrinkler, the professional talker, then you might leave out the detail that you repeatingly kill yourself in your dreams, I don’t want them to lock you up.’’ Eames finished, hearing Arthur chuckle very weakly in return.
*
One week later, Arthur already had two meetings up with a therapist and nearly chickened out on both if it wasn’t for Eames literally pushing him through the door. But Arthur had thanked him an hour later. And when they got home Arthur nearly freaked out on Eames for owning so much stuff and leaving it all in the boxes in the hallway. Eames Excuse was that he wanted them to unpack together, and he apologized for owning more stuff then Arthur did.
Two weeks later the boxes were thrown away. Every last thing had its own place somewhere in Arthurs apartment, and Eames was still working hard on remembering where it all was. But most importantly, Arthur told Eames more then he told his therapist, and for Eames, it couldn’t be any better.
~*~
Hope you all liked it, and comments are very appreciated :3