Pardon...
I know it is out of character, I know it is not me, but allow me, please, a moment of Emo...
A number of things have been on my mind, not seen by the public, well, fuck, not even seen by the internet. The few people I actually share my goddamn secrets with are those faceless entities who's only form is what I have imagined for them. Sadly, as nice as they are, I know not a single one of you could help me. Not without being here, anyways.
Well, okay, maybe Erica, but that's only because she's taken some psyche, and has spent long enough with me that she knows more than the rest of ya'll...no offense.
Firstly, I know I am losing my mind. I feel it every day, feel each little piece of it slip away as I continue to hide myself away, trying to preserve it. I want to think that I am one of the people in the world, that I have some sort of meaning in the great cosmic shit-hole...but as of late, I am growing to realize that every thing I want to do, I can't. Not because I am not a strong person, but because I am unable to be strong when I want to be, to take life into my hands, and strangle it for all it is worth.
Secondly, a belief I have had. When I look up at the sky, I imagine that every star in the sky, every blip of light above us all represents every one of my hopes, my dreams. As I have grown older, I have watched stars fall from the sky, fading from existance, and it makes me sad. What actually brought me to tears was when I looked up tonight, and saw nothing. All I saw in the sky was black, pure and absolute darkness. All my dreams are dead, devoured by my leeching family, consumed as I have given a piece of myself to each of my friends, to those I worry about. I've got nothing left for me. Nothing.
Finally, as I am losing my grip on reality, I see dreams I have had walking about me. I hear imaginary people calling my name, I see entities that have never existed there. I do not know if it is some sort of psychic link to the aether of the world, or if I am going fucking insane, if one day I'll take a number of guns and go all Silent Hill on this fucking land.
*falls to his knees* And I won't bother to fucking hide this as 'friends only'...because the few of you I bother to call 'friend' are the only bastards that even give a flying fuck...
A number of things have been on my mind, not seen by the public, well, fuck, not even seen by the internet. The few people I actually share my goddamn secrets with are those faceless entities who's only form is what I have imagined for them. Sadly, as nice as they are, I know not a single one of you could help me. Not without being here, anyways.
Well, okay, maybe Erica, but that's only because she's taken some psyche, and has spent long enough with me that she knows more than the rest of ya'll...no offense.
Firstly, I know I am losing my mind. I feel it every day, feel each little piece of it slip away as I continue to hide myself away, trying to preserve it. I want to think that I am one of the people in the world, that I have some sort of meaning in the great cosmic shit-hole...but as of late, I am growing to realize that every thing I want to do, I can't. Not because I am not a strong person, but because I am unable to be strong when I want to be, to take life into my hands, and strangle it for all it is worth.
Secondly, a belief I have had. When I look up at the sky, I imagine that every star in the sky, every blip of light above us all represents every one of my hopes, my dreams. As I have grown older, I have watched stars fall from the sky, fading from existance, and it makes me sad. What actually brought me to tears was when I looked up tonight, and saw nothing. All I saw in the sky was black, pure and absolute darkness. All my dreams are dead, devoured by my leeching family, consumed as I have given a piece of myself to each of my friends, to those I worry about. I've got nothing left for me. Nothing.
Finally, as I am losing my grip on reality, I see dreams I have had walking about me. I hear imaginary people calling my name, I see entities that have never existed there. I do not know if it is some sort of psychic link to the aether of the world, or if I am going fucking insane, if one day I'll take a number of guns and go all Silent Hill on this fucking land.
*falls to his knees* And I won't bother to fucking hide this as 'friends only'...because the few of you I bother to call 'friend' are the only bastards that even give a flying fuck...