Interesting
It seems that I am going more and more insane with each passing day. It's not the sort of drooling like a maniac insane that you are all familiar with, or even the 'I want to slaughter the world so I can rule it' that we gamers know.
No...this is the sort of insanity that happens when one spends 90% of his time alone, and is starting to grow tired of it.
I have spent my life with an open mind, with high hopes that I could garner real, physical friends. Those numbers are horribly slim, sadly. Incredibly so. Now, I'm not saying this to denounce the love and affection that my internet friends give me, but that's just it. They're not physically here.
As such, I find myself speaking to inanimate objects, apologizing to my gameboy, my gamecube when I accidentally smack them into something, or when I sneeze. Hell, I even had a conversation with the fridge over what I should eat for lunch.
That's not all of it, either. I find myself creating imaginary friends, people to talk to, even pets. Right now, my Charmander is sleeping on the bed, curled up sweetly, keeping the flaming tip of his tail off the bed so it doesn't burn. My creation, Garet Archanus is in the livingroom having a physics discussion with Garrig the gryphon anthro, and Sciondas the hunter. These 'characters' are very real, very opinionated to me. Each one represents a different part of myself, and with every decision I have to make, I find myself discussing with them.
This is the sort of thing that has been stewing in my mind for a while now, gathering some potatos here, having somebody drop some chopped beef there. The like.
I am not saying, for an instant, that I do not feel that all those who read this, that all those on my various 'buddy lists' are not real, are not the sort of people I imagine them to be. Not at all. I guess...what I am saying...is that I am growing tired of being alone, in this house with family I don't even want to spend time with.
Of having people in my life who are more involved with others, who don't pay me a second thought. I want to be around those who care for me, who, when we have a day off together, want to go to the local bar and get smashed.
You know...
...a family.
No...this is the sort of insanity that happens when one spends 90% of his time alone, and is starting to grow tired of it.
I have spent my life with an open mind, with high hopes that I could garner real, physical friends. Those numbers are horribly slim, sadly. Incredibly so. Now, I'm not saying this to denounce the love and affection that my internet friends give me, but that's just it. They're not physically here.
As such, I find myself speaking to inanimate objects, apologizing to my gameboy, my gamecube when I accidentally smack them into something, or when I sneeze. Hell, I even had a conversation with the fridge over what I should eat for lunch.
That's not all of it, either. I find myself creating imaginary friends, people to talk to, even pets. Right now, my Charmander is sleeping on the bed, curled up sweetly, keeping the flaming tip of his tail off the bed so it doesn't burn. My creation, Garet Archanus is in the livingroom having a physics discussion with Garrig the gryphon anthro, and Sciondas the hunter. These 'characters' are very real, very opinionated to me. Each one represents a different part of myself, and with every decision I have to make, I find myself discussing with them.
This is the sort of thing that has been stewing in my mind for a while now, gathering some potatos here, having somebody drop some chopped beef there. The like.
I am not saying, for an instant, that I do not feel that all those who read this, that all those on my various 'buddy lists' are not real, are not the sort of people I imagine them to be. Not at all. I guess...what I am saying...is that I am growing tired of being alone, in this house with family I don't even want to spend time with.
Of having people in my life who are more involved with others, who don't pay me a second thought. I want to be around those who care for me, who, when we have a day off together, want to go to the local bar and get smashed.
You know...
...a family.