Comments | sid401k: Unfamiliar Territory

sid401k

Unfamiliar Territory

Oct 03, 2007 18:14

Unfamiliar Territory

This story was originally published on December 1, 2006, in the Mountain_Santa community, a "Secret Santa" BBM fanfic exchange. Access the original entry at Unfamiliar Territory.

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Comments 22

way2 October 4 2007, 03:24:49 UTC

I loved this. I enjoy all kinds of BBM stories, but my absolute favorite is when the characters act and speak like the ones in the story. I realize that's subjective, but for me, you've come up with a totally plausible conversation. Ennis doesn't suddenly make flowery declarations--he sounds like himself. And they're funny. GREAT JOB!

Now I just wish I could see Ennis's face when Jack managed to tell him what rimming is. Oh, wait...He probably wouldn't tell him...he'd show him. In that case, I definitely want to see Ennis's face. :P

sid401k October 4 2007, 18:36:00 UTC

Thank you so much for your kind words.

"Rimmin is when you lick somebody's asshole."

"Umm. So that's what it means, huh?"

"Yup."

"And you think you'd like that?" Puzzled.

"I am kinda sensitive around there. If you remember."

Ennis grins. "I remember." A breath. "Okay, then, but you warsh good first, you hear me!"

sweetje October 4 2007, 23:49:27 UTC

You're right. I did enjoy this. I especially loved the last line. I just laughed myself silly. Thanks! : D
Debra

way2 October 5 2007, 13:06:19 UTC

LOL-YES!

Okay, the script is ready. It's officially time to call Ang, Heath and Jake for the filming of the alternative ending.

fridayblues October 4 2007, 03:27:09 UTC

Hi,
This is so good. I have to go back and read your other writings some time soon. I agree this can be a really, really good long story!
Thank you for sharing :)
xxx

sid401k October 4 2007, 18:44:33 UTC

Well... I'm really more of a drabblist. But I do have some ideas of where they might go from here.

Thanks for reading and for your nice comment.

flwrchild October 4 2007, 04:01:40 UTC

Oh, I like this! I have always believed that if he'd lived, Jack would be there in November. There were some wonderful tender moments.

"No. Rather share with you."

"It's the biggest thing in my life. You. You and me."

And of course:

Jack lay where he’d fallen, half on, half off the air mattress, laughing. “That’s why you love me, right?” And realizing what he’d just said, went utterly still.

The silence in the tent lengthened and thickened. Twice Jack started to speak, and twice Ennis gestured him silent. Finally, Ennis barely managed to whisper, “One of the reasons, anyway.” And with a heroic effort, “There’s lots more.”

Oh God. That's all he had to say. Thank you for this.

sid401k October 4 2007, 18:49:14 UTC

I'm convinced that they both would have been there in November, and that they both would have spent the last six months doing some hard thinking, each about the other's needs and desires.

Glad you enjoyed.

(The comment has been removed)

sid401k October 4 2007, 18:52:15 UTC

Thank you for reading. And thanks also for your kind comment.

I have a few ideas about a couple of further conversations they might have had on that November trip. Maybe I will add a chapter. Or two. Or...

neverdone39 October 4 2007, 05:19:08 UTC

I loved this. I agree with the other commenters: plausible dialog, not over the top sweet, and so worth continuing.
I always thought Nov, 7th is a good point to begin an AU story.

sid401k October 4 2007, 19:00:21 UTC

Thank you!

We each have our own versions of Jack and Ennis: what they are and what they could be and what we wish they were. I enjoy reading others' interpretations, no matter how different from my own, but the only time I could ever manage (so far) to get them to trade mushy endearments was in my Drabble #50, Play. (Shameless plug.)

November 7th is a natural split-off for an AU. I'm following in august footsteps: Jennasts, to name only one.