The Turd Avenue Festival...
It's days like today that make me realize how much it sucks living in a post 9/11 era. I remember, back in high school, when I would be freaking ecstatic knowing that the 5th, 3rd, or 18th avenue festival would be around soon. Going meant shooting a real heavy BB gun, not some puss ass plastic crossbow. Or it meant I would be getting my hands on a switchblade or a gold-plated machete. I remember offering a guy double what a bowie knife with knuckle-gaurd costs, and he wouldn't sell it to me cuz I was under 18. By the time 18 comes around what do I see? NOTHING! They even took away the ponies for God's sakes. Every table I pass is either same gay ass t-shirts, indian jewelry, plastic kiddie toys, or [oh yeah] ladies freaking underwear! Now I am all for affordable undergarments, but c'mon, it's a festival [of course, it is about time we have one of THOSE festivals around. Tahiti in Brooklyn? Just one day, oh lord].
Oh yeah, wtf is up with the goddamn festival car show? What, two Maxima's from 1995 and 2 chevy trucks with carpets on the steering wheel and blinking headlights? They did have one Mustang [circa '72, looks like a base model] and a Plymouth Duster with a Hemi that looked as big as a tea saucer. I see more vintage cars in the city. Now their was a fifth ave festival a few years back, 3 MUSTANGS [circa 69] 2 CADILLACS AND A SLEW OF OTHER AMERICAN TREASURES. Not that weak shit. I walked the whole damn festival, and the only song I heard that I wanted to even consider listening was a Violent Femmes cover I heard passing by 79 street. They didn't even have a Stage! They were playing on a flat-bed tow-truck, but they were good.
Do I really have to traverse into Chi-Town to get me some good old blades. I mean, back in the days [I was probably 16] I saw someone selling an actual morningstar. It felt so sweet. For a minute I considered whacking his head off and running away with it, but I had just ate a few tacos and didn't feel like running.
Whack festivals.
Oh yeah, wtf is up with the goddamn festival car show? What, two Maxima's from 1995 and 2 chevy trucks with carpets on the steering wheel and blinking headlights? They did have one Mustang [circa '72, looks like a base model] and a Plymouth Duster with a Hemi that looked as big as a tea saucer. I see more vintage cars in the city. Now their was a fifth ave festival a few years back, 3 MUSTANGS [circa 69] 2 CADILLACS AND A SLEW OF OTHER AMERICAN TREASURES. Not that weak shit. I walked the whole damn festival, and the only song I heard that I wanted to even consider listening was a Violent Femmes cover I heard passing by 79 street. They didn't even have a Stage! They were playing on a flat-bed tow-truck, but they were good.
Do I really have to traverse into Chi-Town to get me some good old blades. I mean, back in the days [I was probably 16] I saw someone selling an actual morningstar. It felt so sweet. For a minute I considered whacking his head off and running away with it, but I had just ate a few tacos and didn't feel like running.
Whack festivals.