Can't seem to forget this shit.
Relationships, you can't live with or without them. I hate this concept of living, its so pointless and unnecessary. In fact, I can happily provide for myself with almost anything except forming connections with other human beings.
It has such complicated prerequisites to sustain such a synergistic, over indulged heap. It requires reciprocation. I don't think I've ever had that in my life. The closest time I've had that is with my ex who has hurt me so much I could barely love again. I'm half a human left.
Aside from that nothing ever happens in my life. No complications. I live hedonistically. Catch a 2-3 hour train out of town to swim in the beautiful salt water baths of Newcastle. Catch a cross country train past lake Macquarie in all its glistening glory.
The clouds. The psycho sadistically hot weather.
I even watched slum dog millionaire today, human affection looks so much better on camera. All contained, the people all sculpted beautifully. I don't know if I could ever bring me to see the beauty in myself. I am so not sure about that.
I want to stop feeling.
It has such complicated prerequisites to sustain such a synergistic, over indulged heap. It requires reciprocation. I don't think I've ever had that in my life. The closest time I've had that is with my ex who has hurt me so much I could barely love again. I'm half a human left.
Aside from that nothing ever happens in my life. No complications. I live hedonistically. Catch a 2-3 hour train out of town to swim in the beautiful salt water baths of Newcastle. Catch a cross country train past lake Macquarie in all its glistening glory.
The clouds. The psycho sadistically hot weather.
I even watched slum dog millionaire today, human affection looks so much better on camera. All contained, the people all sculpted beautifully. I don't know if I could ever bring me to see the beauty in myself. I am so not sure about that.
I want to stop feeling.