rapid eye movement
Its after 2am and im tired as hell. i dont want to sleep and im extremely bored. i could have gone to the castle with Rainy but i didnt really feel up to it. i dont really enjoy the place as much as i used to because i no longer drink as much as i did back in the day. i loved to play that place and the girls who used to attend. i used to come home with a fist full of phone numbers that i had no intent to call. And now i really dont have the taste for the place. dont get me wrong its still a great place and i had a great time last time i went, but when Im there i want to drink and thats no longer me. i do miss rainy something horrible. im not used to her being out on the town. shes usually here with her head on my shoulder watching gilmore girls or in bed pulling me against her as she falls asleep. a little while ago i stood looking at my dvds and i heard a vehicle drive by but that isnt the strange part. i also heard this long whistle. the sound commonly connected to the sound of a dropping bomb and i couldnt help my brain from seeing a mushroom cloud and the oncoming rush as im blown to mist by an atomicblast. i waited for the wind to come and scatter me along but dieing wasnt my biggest fear it was going with out being able to say goodbye and that she was safe. i miss her. yeah i know its stupid of me...to miss her considering i saw her a couple hours ago.i just cant help it. i havent seen her much today...in fact ive been working everyday this week and ill work up until tuesday. so i miss being able to be with her all day. i must sound pathetic. I want to keep writing and writing until she comes home. this is the most comfortable ive ben since she left. ive attempted 2 movies and made it through 3 episodes of superman the animated series. I felt my eyes close a couple times but i struggled through it and now here i sit typing. sigh, im tired. I dont want to go to bed until shes safe in bed with me. sigh
Ive decide to change the subject to something a little less weak. ive been trying to figure out what im wearing in rainy and is wedding. im conflicted. the first idea was to wear a tux. a normal tux but I always wanted the coat from the guns and roses november rain video. so a normal tux just wont do. then it struck me...i loved the skeleton tux in the movie monkey bone. ive search online for stills of that scene but it doesnt seem to exsist. i do have the movie so there is something to work with. Then one day someone informed me of an oppinion of one of rainys ex's. when he found out rainy and i are getting married he said that we can both wear skirts. asshole. so i thought about it and i decided its been awhile since i wore a skirt and that its not a bad idea. so the thoughy grew from there. i could see myself wearing a tux coat and underneath a white dress shrt tucked into a beautiful corset and a lond black skirt flowing down and behind me. oh and id wear a bowtie to. My hair will be in long braids and extensions pulled up into a pony tail. i thought it would look cool as hell but rainy and i talked about it and found that we were going for a more traditional wedding....which was one of my first ideas. so we are back to the bone tux idea which shouldnt be way to over the top. im tired...and i should go look for things online. whatever
Ive decide to change the subject to something a little less weak. ive been trying to figure out what im wearing in rainy and is wedding. im conflicted. the first idea was to wear a tux. a normal tux but I always wanted the coat from the guns and roses november rain video. so a normal tux just wont do. then it struck me...i loved the skeleton tux in the movie monkey bone. ive search online for stills of that scene but it doesnt seem to exsist. i do have the movie so there is something to work with. Then one day someone informed me of an oppinion of one of rainys ex's. when he found out rainy and i are getting married he said that we can both wear skirts. asshole. so i thought about it and i decided its been awhile since i wore a skirt and that its not a bad idea. so the thoughy grew from there. i could see myself wearing a tux coat and underneath a white dress shrt tucked into a beautiful corset and a lond black skirt flowing down and behind me. oh and id wear a bowtie to. My hair will be in long braids and extensions pulled up into a pony tail. i thought it would look cool as hell but rainy and i talked about it and found that we were going for a more traditional wedding....which was one of my first ideas. so we are back to the bone tux idea which shouldnt be way to over the top. im tired...and i should go look for things online. whatever