Just another stupid rant...
So it seems that nothing goes well for me lately... once again... Yesterday, all the interesting work came to my classmate while I only had to carry heavy things, place filters and things like that... once again... And, also, I was like so sensitive that the only thing I wanted to do was crawl and cry until time was nothing but a word...
Sometimes death crosses my mind, not suicide though. Only what'd happen to the world if I'l not be here. And the answer is always the same, nothing. Nothing would happen, the world'd continue spinning and other people's lifes'd evolve without me.
I feel useless. I feel that my life has no sense. I feel that, one day, I'll wake up and I'll be alone, everybody will have a life and I'll be there, with a blank expression and a bunch of nothing between my hands. I want to come back to childhood, where real problems weren't that real. I'm sure I'm not prepared to grow up, I don't have a place in this world that I don't understand. I'm totally misplaced, as if I came from an alternate reality and just appeared here suddenly...
I need you by my side, even if you don't know that I'm talking about you *and no, you don't know it and I'm not going to tell you... That'll come with me to the grave...* But... Please, come and save me... I'm so alone here in the darkness and tears aren't enough to calm me now...
~ Minna-san, just forget the rant, I just needed to write that down, calm myself and breath a little...~
Sometimes death crosses my mind, not suicide though. Only what'd happen to the world if I'l not be here. And the answer is always the same, nothing. Nothing would happen, the world'd continue spinning and other people's lifes'd evolve without me.
I feel useless. I feel that my life has no sense. I feel that, one day, I'll wake up and I'll be alone, everybody will have a life and I'll be there, with a blank expression and a bunch of nothing between my hands. I want to come back to childhood, where real problems weren't that real. I'm sure I'm not prepared to grow up, I don't have a place in this world that I don't understand. I'm totally misplaced, as if I came from an alternate reality and just appeared here suddenly...
I need you by my side, even if you don't know that I'm talking about you *and no, you don't know it and I'm not going to tell you... That'll come with me to the grave...* But... Please, come and save me... I'm so alone here in the darkness and tears aren't enough to calm me now...
~ Minna-san, just forget the rant, I just needed to write that down, calm myself and breath a little...~