Psychiatric hospitals
Hmm,
I didn't get to go to the cage as I planned no one wanted to go tonight :( It figures. I just got done watching girl, interrupted and the last half of the matrix. It's funny though, how you can watch a movie and get so thoughtful about your past. Girl, interrupted just got me thinking about the year I spent in the mental ward. I can just remember making friends in there and I had 2. One was a guy, we were young boys I guess. But he was my roommate. He was the coolest guy because we would just chill and have fun. He left to go to a larger hospital about halfway through my stay and it was the day after I had an EEG done and since I had to stay up all night I was asleep when he left. I never got to say goodbye and it was so devastating to me at the time since he was the only one I could confide in without having to sit and talk over my damn problems. The other was this anorexic girl that was so neat. She was older then me but I remember one night staying up with her playing cards and thinking that she was the easiest person ever to talk to since she knew how I felt. The sad thing is, I don't remember either of their names. I wish I did. But that whole point in my life is such a blur. Most likely I was too busy flipping out or they are too hard of memories for me to remember. Really I never thought about it before tonight. It seems that those feelings are coming back. My life isn't what I want it to be. I am stuck in a job going nowhere, I am depressed half the time, and my only option to be able to make a decent enough wage to live on is to join the military since I have no one to live with down here. I wish I could just pack up and move somewhere with someone that I could live with and not have to worry about barely making the $800 a month rent on this shitty one bedroom apartment. I wish I had someone who I could trust that would be my roommate. As it seems right now I think I am going to have to pursue a career in the air force for at least the next four years so I can be able to support myself even though everyone tells me I wouldn't like it because I hate people trying to tell me what I can and cant do. The reason why I didn't go in after high school was because I had my teachers, my counselors, and everyone telling me not to do it, just go to community college and transfer to a four year after two years. And where am I now, finished up with a two year degree in emergency medicine and going nowhere. It's just so hard with all this shit. I have a G/F that I really am getting to the point I cant be around her. I am stuck in this shitty town of woodbridge. since I cant afford anything closer to DC. I am just so very jaded. And what other course of action do I have but to enlist in the military and go off and be a little soldier boy. I just wish it would all end...
I didn't get to go to the cage as I planned no one wanted to go tonight :( It figures. I just got done watching girl, interrupted and the last half of the matrix. It's funny though, how you can watch a movie and get so thoughtful about your past. Girl, interrupted just got me thinking about the year I spent in the mental ward. I can just remember making friends in there and I had 2. One was a guy, we were young boys I guess. But he was my roommate. He was the coolest guy because we would just chill and have fun. He left to go to a larger hospital about halfway through my stay and it was the day after I had an EEG done and since I had to stay up all night I was asleep when he left. I never got to say goodbye and it was so devastating to me at the time since he was the only one I could confide in without having to sit and talk over my damn problems. The other was this anorexic girl that was so neat. She was older then me but I remember one night staying up with her playing cards and thinking that she was the easiest person ever to talk to since she knew how I felt. The sad thing is, I don't remember either of their names. I wish I did. But that whole point in my life is such a blur. Most likely I was too busy flipping out or they are too hard of memories for me to remember. Really I never thought about it before tonight. It seems that those feelings are coming back. My life isn't what I want it to be. I am stuck in a job going nowhere, I am depressed half the time, and my only option to be able to make a decent enough wage to live on is to join the military since I have no one to live with down here. I wish I could just pack up and move somewhere with someone that I could live with and not have to worry about barely making the $800 a month rent on this shitty one bedroom apartment. I wish I had someone who I could trust that would be my roommate. As it seems right now I think I am going to have to pursue a career in the air force for at least the next four years so I can be able to support myself even though everyone tells me I wouldn't like it because I hate people trying to tell me what I can and cant do. The reason why I didn't go in after high school was because I had my teachers, my counselors, and everyone telling me not to do it, just go to community college and transfer to a four year after two years. And where am I now, finished up with a two year degree in emergency medicine and going nowhere. It's just so hard with all this shit. I have a G/F that I really am getting to the point I cant be around her. I am stuck in this shitty town of woodbridge. since I cant afford anything closer to DC. I am just so very jaded. And what other course of action do I have but to enlist in the military and go off and be a little soldier boy. I just wish it would all end...