(no subject)
Shorts
As a result of contracting my aforementioned bronchitis (the new tuberculosis!), I have been prescribed a regimen of no less than three antibiotics. Each bottle, package, and pouch, has a number of colorful labels on it explaining that I should take it with food, I should take it with water, I should take it with a hopeful attitude, etc. But truly, my favorite is this trippy little bottle of codeine-based cough syrup. It has four different labels:
1. Do Not Drink Alcoholic Beverages While Taking This Medicine
2. May Cause Dizziness (will cause extreme dizziness with alcohol.)
3. May Cause Drowsiness. Alcohol May Intensify this Effect.
4. Controlled Substance! Dangerous! Do Not Use With Alcohol!
I think there should be a final label in the lid, like a Snapple Fact. It should say something helpful, with a picture of Alan Greenspan or Warren Christopher, and the words: you must be this sober before you partake of contents.
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As the whole Republican National Convention whips itself into its once-every-four-year frenzy on my doorstep, I've found myself drawn into various discussions on just about every political discussion you can imagine, from Nader, to why it is conservatives are more likely to wear khakis. And more than anything else, sad as it is to say, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and Kerry's Vietnam war medals (and ensuing denouncing of the war) have come up. And what's my opinion on the subject?
Who cares?
Political jargon aside, my own beliefs firmly set aside, I have come to this conclusion: if our main concern is whether a belligerent, war-mongering, daddy-saved-my-butt reservist that can't even control his own alcohol-guzzling daughters deserves the presidency more than a waffling, liberal pansy married-into-money patrician who may have achieved his purple hearts through tactics we all saw in the movie Platoon, as opposed to being concerned with what they'll actually, oh, do once elected, than we deserve whatever we get. In fact, I'd say either of these guys is probably a little too good for us. We would be better off with...say...the mayor of cat town.
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I'm not saying that Sex and the City wasn't awesome*. I recognize a cultural event when I'm bludgeoned over the head with it repeatedly by ads everywhere. But that still doesn't explain why Sarah Jessica Parker is the new spokesmodel for Gap. She's not a part of anyone's demographic anymore. If she had a demographic, it would be something like "mysteriously stylish but horse-faced anorexic women over forty" demographic. On top of that, she never wore any clothing on that show valued at under $500.00 an article, except for that nasty (yes, it may have looked hot, but chafing people, chafing!) rhinestone studded thong that looked like it came out of Frederick of Hollywood's "classy" couture line. So who is this for? I look at "SJP's" pairing of Gap and much overrated Mahnolos, and I ask what it says.
You know what that says? That says: Wear Gap and you'll look really spooky!
I don't know about you, but I'm sold.
*Ok, actually, I am. In fact, I've said so before. But that's besides the point.
originally posted by pressedflat on August 31, 2004