An Open Letter to JCrew, With An Addendum to Calvin Klein
Dear J. Crew,
I write this to you as someone who could give a damn about fashion trends. My entire closet is dominated by blacks and grays because 1.) I like to dress to match my mood and 2.) it's really nice to not have to turn on the lights until I absolutely have to, and this lets me get dressed in the dark.
So you've enabled me on many an occasion to put on a bland as hell a-line suiting skirt (thank you! Five years and still as in-fashion as it's ever been) or one of many 'superfine' italian sheath dresses, although judging by the labels on the lining, not all of the dress is actually made in Italy, into work without thinking about it. Yay for you.
But can we talk about the skirt at right?
It is so rare when a mini-skirt is actually mini-length and not check-out-mah-undergarments on the subway steps going up. This skirt is the right length and the right lack-of-flare for me to show leg while giving me the opportunity to keep some of the mystery alive.
But that thing I mentioned about lining? Would it have been so hard for you to put in a lining? It's a CORDUROY MINI SKIRT, for God's sake. It's clearly for the winter. You know what that model's thinking? Why she's smiling? She's smiling because she's thinking 'thank goodness I can put my jeans on at the end of this shoot since it's damn cold out what with it being NOVEMBER.' (The other thing she's probably thinking is 'thanks for photoshopping my legs to look longer! Thumbs up!') So it should not be something that comes as such a grand surprise that a fall mini, even if it's a mini, should have a lining in case heaven forbid the person wishes to cover up their legs with something.
So instead of me looking super-cute in a super-cute mini, I just look like someone having a hard time walking as I go along the tunnels of the subway, constantly hiking my skirt down so that it's not showing whether or not my legs go all the way up. (Spoiler alert: they do.) When you could've saved all of us a lot of shame and embarassment by just putting in a 50 cent lining. Serously. Would it have been so hard? Keep it in mind for next time.
Love,
Me.
PS. Dear Calvin Klein, your half slips suck. The damn thing was practically around my neck within half a block. Guaranteed to ride *up*.
I write this to you as someone who could give a damn about fashion trends. My entire closet is dominated by blacks and grays because 1.) I like to dress to match my mood and 2.) it's really nice to not have to turn on the lights until I absolutely have to, and this lets me get dressed in the dark.
So you've enabled me on many an occasion to put on a bland as hell a-line suiting skirt (thank you! Five years and still as in-fashion as it's ever been) or one of many 'superfine' italian sheath dresses, although judging by the labels on the lining, not all of the dress is actually made in Italy, into work without thinking about it. Yay for you.
But can we talk about the skirt at right?
It is so rare when a mini-skirt is actually mini-length and not check-out-mah-undergarments on the subway steps going up. This skirt is the right length and the right lack-of-flare for me to show leg while giving me the opportunity to keep some of the mystery alive.
But that thing I mentioned about lining? Would it have been so hard for you to put in a lining? It's a CORDUROY MINI SKIRT, for God's sake. It's clearly for the winter. You know what that model's thinking? Why she's smiling? She's smiling because she's thinking 'thank goodness I can put my jeans on at the end of this shoot since it's damn cold out what with it being NOVEMBER.' (The other thing she's probably thinking is 'thanks for photoshopping my legs to look longer! Thumbs up!') So it should not be something that comes as such a grand surprise that a fall mini, even if it's a mini, should have a lining in case heaven forbid the person wishes to cover up their legs with something.
So instead of me looking super-cute in a super-cute mini, I just look like someone having a hard time walking as I go along the tunnels of the subway, constantly hiking my skirt down so that it's not showing whether or not my legs go all the way up. (Spoiler alert: they do.) When you could've saved all of us a lot of shame and embarassment by just putting in a 50 cent lining. Serously. Would it have been so hard? Keep it in mind for next time.
Love,
Me.
PS. Dear Calvin Klein, your half slips suck. The damn thing was practically around my neck within half a block. Guaranteed to ride *up*.