(no subject)
its kind of dark, in broad daylight.
im thinking fantasmagorical is the mind.
why are there pictures? and sounds?
its not ever just thoughts anymore, and i have to...
translate. but the essence is often...
left behind. behind the eyes. can't you...
just look. look, and whats wrong? whats so...
wrong here? theres a hole, i know it... i...
feel it. starting inward, and then moving,....
outward, like these shivers. its hot...
so hot here, and the ball of cold starts in...
my center, moving toward the end... the dreams are..
so bad, so much, why wont they stop? they keep...
going on, so much death, why on my mind? whats...
happening? i dont want to be killing them! why...
am i? only past dark, in the solace of my...
very own head. they die, i died, it was...
so much better, but then, the damned bullet...
i said "just take me" and thrust the barrel...
to my temple, i know he pulled the trigger...
because, even in sleep, i felt the searing...
pain rip through my mind, and i was happy...
to be gone, and the damned bullet reversed ...
out of me, and i wasnt dead, i was perfectly...
alive, remembering my death, wanting it...
back, and watching him kill them, all ...
of them, but he was me, it was me who....
shot myself, and was killing them because...
i had survived my suicide, and i was feeling..
everyone else, feeling them all die, i was...
dying a hundred and thirty times, and i was..
still alive, through all the horror, when..
finally, my body ripped apart as the face...
looked down on me and brought me out of...
my insanity, and no one was dead, the ...
hundred and thirty, all alive, and my...
head was on fire, and the bullet in ...
my hand,of my failed suicide...
was in my head, and i was walking...
away from my own suicide with the...
bullet in my head and the gun in ...
my mouth. and he screamed, and i watched...
him lunge at me, go for the gun, and i..
pulled the trigger, and knew no more.
until i opened my eyes to the morning sun streaming in through the window and my phone ringing.
im thinking fantasmagorical is the mind.
why are there pictures? and sounds?
its not ever just thoughts anymore, and i have to...
translate. but the essence is often...
left behind. behind the eyes. can't you...
just look. look, and whats wrong? whats so...
wrong here? theres a hole, i know it... i...
feel it. starting inward, and then moving,....
outward, like these shivers. its hot...
so hot here, and the ball of cold starts in...
my center, moving toward the end... the dreams are..
so bad, so much, why wont they stop? they keep...
going on, so much death, why on my mind? whats...
happening? i dont want to be killing them! why...
am i? only past dark, in the solace of my...
very own head. they die, i died, it was...
so much better, but then, the damned bullet...
i said "just take me" and thrust the barrel...
to my temple, i know he pulled the trigger...
because, even in sleep, i felt the searing...
pain rip through my mind, and i was happy...
to be gone, and the damned bullet reversed ...
out of me, and i wasnt dead, i was perfectly...
alive, remembering my death, wanting it...
back, and watching him kill them, all ...
of them, but he was me, it was me who....
shot myself, and was killing them because...
i had survived my suicide, and i was feeling..
everyone else, feeling them all die, i was...
dying a hundred and thirty times, and i was..
still alive, through all the horror, when..
finally, my body ripped apart as the face...
looked down on me and brought me out of...
my insanity, and no one was dead, the ...
hundred and thirty, all alive, and my...
head was on fire, and the bullet in ...
my hand,of my failed suicide...
was in my head, and i was walking...
away from my own suicide with the...
bullet in my head and the gun in ...
my mouth. and he screamed, and i watched...
him lunge at me, go for the gun, and i..
pulled the trigger, and knew no more.
until i opened my eyes to the morning sun streaming in through the window and my phone ringing.