So drunk.....
Fuck I'm drunk.
My friends dropped me off at home pissed cause i ended up tellin em to cause there wasn't enough room at either person's house for me to stay over, I had told them that I shouldn't go home alone as drunk as I am cause I knew I'd fucking lose it and I did. I'm not sure how long I'v been crying for, but it's been at least an hour. I got home around 2 and it's nearly 3.30. I spoke to Aprill for a bit and we had a whinge and bitch together and then the phone cut out so I rang Nick and woke him up which made me feel worse but oh well. I just don't like being alone whn I'm drunk which is why I usually only drink with kath cause I fucken lose it and have panic attacks. I've had like 3 in the past 2 hours and it's not good.
I just can't deal with everyone else's problems anymore, I really can't. I'm losing my fucking sanity because everyone tells me their problems but when I'm upset nobody wants to listen to me. Like I'm not good enough for any of my friends to care about when I need friends the most. But I'm used to it so it doens't fucking matter.
I need to sleep. My eyes are so damn red and I've been awake for more than 24 hours and I worked 9 hours today, or yesterday to be more accurate. Anyway I'm not even making sense so I'm gonns go away and have a cigarette before I make anyone else hate me.
*EDIT* (The morning after) God I'm an embarassment to myself when I'm pissed. I'm pretty sure I said most of this stuff to my friend Aprill cause she told me I was being mean and rude in the car so I tried to explain. Hopefully those last 2 shots of tequila we had right before we left the club blanked her out cause I tolerate alcohol way better than her and I hardly remembered typing an entry here, surprised I could. I think I may still be kinda drunk. Anyway I need to go have a shower and try and feel human again.
My friends dropped me off at home pissed cause i ended up tellin em to cause there wasn't enough room at either person's house for me to stay over, I had told them that I shouldn't go home alone as drunk as I am cause I knew I'd fucking lose it and I did. I'm not sure how long I'v been crying for, but it's been at least an hour. I got home around 2 and it's nearly 3.30. I spoke to Aprill for a bit and we had a whinge and bitch together and then the phone cut out so I rang Nick and woke him up which made me feel worse but oh well. I just don't like being alone whn I'm drunk which is why I usually only drink with kath cause I fucken lose it and have panic attacks. I've had like 3 in the past 2 hours and it's not good.
I just can't deal with everyone else's problems anymore, I really can't. I'm losing my fucking sanity because everyone tells me their problems but when I'm upset nobody wants to listen to me. Like I'm not good enough for any of my friends to care about when I need friends the most. But I'm used to it so it doens't fucking matter.
I need to sleep. My eyes are so damn red and I've been awake for more than 24 hours and I worked 9 hours today, or yesterday to be more accurate. Anyway I'm not even making sense so I'm gonns go away and have a cigarette before I make anyone else hate me.
*EDIT* (The morning after) God I'm an embarassment to myself when I'm pissed. I'm pretty sure I said most of this stuff to my friend Aprill cause she told me I was being mean and rude in the car so I tried to explain. Hopefully those last 2 shots of tequila we had right before we left the club blanked her out cause I tolerate alcohol way better than her and I hardly remembered typing an entry here, surprised I could. I think I may still be kinda drunk. Anyway I need to go have a shower and try and feel human again.