Baseball: Why is it an American sport again? Or a sport period?
Ok, Fred, before you go after me on this one, COME ON PEOPLE!
After sitting at Fatburger with my wife enjoying some nice fat burgers, lo and behold, on their nice, shiny flat screen monitor are the Boston... Celtics? I don't know you know, oh yeah the red sox guys, 10-1? around the 4th inning vs charlie sheen's team. Does it ever occur to anyone how bloody boring it is to watch baseball? And they get paid so much money too! It is like modern-day revelation all over again.
Think of the umpires! Is it really that hard to tell if a ball lands on the other side of the line they so neatly mark from the home base to the outfield? And then I love how they talk about old men rowing boats between pitches. It's like they really have nothing better to talk about. Those poor, poor announcers.
Pica says "That's why there are always fights at baseball games. They're so bored they have to take their aggravation out on somebody. Which is weird because they have a bat but they always forget to bring it for a good broken arm or leg."
And then Pica and I see them post on the screen the player's favorite whatever it was. They actually have little facts about the players! Yeah, again, nothing better to talk about! And it's not like how many times they hit the ball or missed, but like their favorite colors and breakfast foods? Pica says "Player: Joe Robinson, Spends his spare time cuddling puppies and prefers scrambled eggs" Yeah! It's that ridiculous!
Explain why you'd want to stand in front of a 100mph flying hardball, and all you have is a stick to defend yourself with? Am i missing something here? It's not even a fat stick! And if you swing and you miss you get penalized? Isn't that good that you didn't get hit at least? I just don't get it. I mean a guy dives for the ball and makes a "cool" catch, and it gets highlights. You're telling me I just have to prance around and occasionally throw myself all over the place to make 3+ million a year? OK! SIGN ME UP!
I'm sorry, I just never thought I would hate watching baseball this much.