Re: Thanks for expressing what I've been thinking!pheonixrising69June 28 2009, 13:43:44 UTC
Your welcome! I can admire MJ's musical talent, but how do you separate the talented musician/artist from the abuser? I have a hard time with that. I am no shrink, but it seems to me that he had some serious personality disorder. I mean, he was such a great performer onstage, very confident. But, anytime he spoke, he was like a shy, timid, scared little kid. I am sure an psychoanalyst would have a hey-day with him!
I also wonder about the boys and his own children. I know that I was so relieved when my dad died. Knowing that I no longer had to fear for my safety or my mom's, or my children ever coming into contact with him. These boys must feel some relief. It makes me wonder if any of them will talk about the truth now that he is gone. I am sure they are in turmoil right now. If the rest of us who are survivors are upset and triggered, then I can not imagine how those boys must be feeling. My heart goes out to them. Debbie
I really support your anger. Our culture is kind of disgusting. The only reason I'm not shocked and angry about all this too is that I no longer have any expectations that mass culture will act in a moral way. All we ever see or it celebrates is sex, sexual misconduct, and general misconduct. That's what we laud. I'm again back in the place where I was when I was almost about to become a nun. I hate "the world." And "fear of God is hatred of evil" (Proverbs). So I think (take what you like and leave the rest), you anger is totally good and appropriate. You are angry in an appropriate way, and I'm betting there is still a lot of unprocessed, specific anger you have towards your own "perpetrator enablers" that needs to be released. Letting all the rage out, really, by assaulting my mattress and screaming my head off, letting the feeling inside guide my expression, so that I'm really "expressing" has helped me so much
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Deirdre, I just got my heavy bag assembled yesterday and boy is it great! My whole family hit on it. I think my husband is going to enjoy it even more than me. He really let loose on it last night! I plan to use it every day! So much anger to release. About so many things. Thanks for your comments. I know there is goodness out there, but it's easy to forget. Time for me to focus on the good things and blessings in my life. Debbie
Welcome to the real world and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. If you want to attack the mindset of some of these creeps look to your local Church, City Council, Police Department, School System. That is where you will find the problem. It's wrong if you and I do it, but they have their perks.
I do feel there's something I can do about it. I can speak my truth, refuse to accept unacceptable behavior in MY life and set an example by the way I live my life. It may not change the world, but it may change a small part of my world. My disclosure to my family has already inspired one family member to seek counseling to deal with her own childhood/adult issues. I can effect change one person at a time. Our lives truly do touch others, and it is up to each individual to set a good example of honesty, truth and authenticity
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I agree, the parents are as responsible as the abusers. Especially in this situation. I would never let my child stay with ANY one that much older than them, I could care less about fame. My kids come first and their safety is my priority. It's sad to say, but they may never attend a sleep over in their lives! I hope that by the time they are in school and these things come up, I'll be able to allow it (after checking out the parents and friends, of course!). I don't want to be too overprotective, but I have to keep them safe.
I am not as actively angry today. At least not about MJ. I'll have to post on the other stuff soon. Debbie
I have learned to trust in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit to get through this. I think the one thing I have learned is to take care of myself and get help. When things happen that are tough emotionally I don't have to figure it out, think it through or explain. Knowing that I am okay and can be okay is enough for me. Daily I am learning the power of prayer. Also taking care of myself to bring the sunshine into my life and others. This week, I felt so much healing and so much feeling whole. I did feel victory and gratitude. It is a blessing to know I can be at that place and that is the place were I am to be.
Time to take action!catharsisfoundJune 28 2009, 03:21:06 UTC
It's admirable that you're angry - most people are apathetic and could care less --- it's the way the world is, unfortunately L Living for themselves only. If that weren't true then why are so many millions of children being molested and abused? And admit it, it's not one bad person doing all the abusing - millions of selfish people are living for themselves and oblivious about hurting people in the process
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Re: Time to take action!pheonixrising69June 28 2009, 13:50:02 UTC
I agree that there needs to be action on this societal problem. Thank you for your sharing and work on this!
I, for one, no longer live in secrecy. I have told my truth to my family and friends, and I no longer feel any shame about being abused. It is not my shame to carry. Our society has become shame-less. It is so sickening. So many things should be private, and thanks to the media and hollywood, we are now exposed to so many things that I feel should be kept private. You can watch shows about married women who don't honor thier vows, cheat; shows about a family of many children and the divorce that's pending, all under the guise of 'reality tv'. Who cares? I do not watch any of that kind of crap. My reality is the best thing in my life, and it contains enough fun, laughter, tears, anger, frustration, and love. I don't need to find it on a show about shameless people who don't live in reality given the huge paychecks, fame (or notariety) I'm sure they receive. Thanks for sharing!
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I also wonder about the boys and his own children. I know that I was so relieved when my dad died. Knowing that I no longer had to fear for my safety or my mom's, or my children ever coming into contact with him. These boys must feel some relief. It makes me wonder if any of them will talk about the truth now that he is gone. I am sure they are in turmoil right now. If the rest of us who are survivors are upset and triggered, then I can not imagine how those boys must be feeling. My heart goes out to them.
Debbie
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i wonder if these children will feel free to bring it up now that he's dead.
i pray that god will make the truth come out so clearly.
it's unbelivable how people just accept his dark side.
but that's how people do.
they choose not to take a stand.
it's sad.
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I just got my heavy bag assembled yesterday and boy is it great! My whole family hit on it. I think my husband is going to enjoy it even more than me. He really let loose on it last night! I plan to use it every day! So much anger to release. About so many things.
Thanks for your comments. I know there is goodness out there, but it's easy to forget. Time for me to focus on the good things and blessings in my life.
Debbie
Reply
If you want to attack the mindset of some of these creeps look to your local Church, City Council, Police Department, School System. That is where you will find the problem.
It's wrong if you and I do it, but they have their perks.
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(The comment has been removed)
I am not as actively angry today. At least not about MJ. I'll have to post on the other stuff soon.
Debbie
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Take care of yourselves
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I, for one, no longer live in secrecy. I have told my truth to my family and friends, and I no longer feel any shame about being abused. It is not my shame to carry. Our society has become shame-less. It is so sickening. So many things should be private, and thanks to the media and hollywood, we are now exposed to so many things that I feel should be kept private. You can watch shows about married women who don't honor thier vows, cheat; shows about a family of many children and the divorce that's pending, all under the guise of 'reality tv'. Who cares? I do not watch any of that kind of crap. My reality is the best thing in my life, and it contains enough fun, laughter, tears, anger, frustration, and love. I don't need to find it on a show about shameless people who don't live in reality given the huge paychecks, fame (or notariety) I'm sure they receive.
Thanks for sharing!
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