Apr 02, 2009 17:08
I have been given the names of female LotR characters and now have to decide which of them shall receive the above fates. Comment and I shall choose 3 people for you. I shall assume heterosexuality unless you say so - and you might want to consider this an opportunity to explore your options.
Arwen - you are dumped, you useless and insipid bint. Even when she steps up to the plate in the film interpretation she does it in the most smug, breathy way possible. Totally fit and I might regret turning that down (she might persuade me if she did that soapy car wash thing like in 'One Night at McCools') but a man has his standards. Plus, this way round I get to say...
Galadriel - You know that Lady of the Wood? The one who's a sorceress of terrible power? I've had her.
Eowen - All the LotR women have a lot to whine about, but her whining is about things I can empathise with and she is spunky enough to get off her lovely, horseriders bottom and do something about it. In short I respect her, I understand her and think she is very pretty. Mawwiage.