Poo 3 - Much less scary threequel
So I'm filming the new Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr and Guy Ritchie on Thursday. Only as an extra, but still...
Got cast as a Lord. Wow, thinks I, all toffed up in Victorian finery and dandying around with a cane or stomping about with mutton-chops glued on....
The bastards have gayed me up. Not even cool or authentically gay (apart from the twinkle in the eyes the gay characters looked like everyone else in 'Wilde'), just awful stereotype gay with random Victorian flavour. A bright pink cravatte, maroon-pink waist-coat and tight check trousers. The velvet coat I'm in would rock, but just makes me look like a screamer with the rest of the ensemble. I refrained from comment and tried to think maybe they just wanted me to look colourful and stylised, but then the big gay costume supervisor asked me if I was gay. I said no. He said I was now, and would I like to accompany him to the village later? I said that if any of my schoolkids spot me in the movie they will call me 'Gaylord.' I wouldn't mind if it was a theme running through the movie but all the other extras could be filming A Christmas Carol, they look so conventionally Victorian. Its just me, looking out of place. And craply gay.
The worst part is they shaved my beard off, and kept the moustache just to make me look more like a 70s gay stereotype. I have to stay like this till Thursday. So until then I shall be as stubbly as possible to disguise the difference.
Who knows, maybe there is some 'Holmes is gay' subtle in-joke where he checks out all the lords. To be fair though if Mr Downey has to wink at me I may actually turn gay.
Got cast as a Lord. Wow, thinks I, all toffed up in Victorian finery and dandying around with a cane or stomping about with mutton-chops glued on....
The bastards have gayed me up. Not even cool or authentically gay (apart from the twinkle in the eyes the gay characters looked like everyone else in 'Wilde'), just awful stereotype gay with random Victorian flavour. A bright pink cravatte, maroon-pink waist-coat and tight check trousers. The velvet coat I'm in would rock, but just makes me look like a screamer with the rest of the ensemble. I refrained from comment and tried to think maybe they just wanted me to look colourful and stylised, but then the big gay costume supervisor asked me if I was gay. I said no. He said I was now, and would I like to accompany him to the village later? I said that if any of my schoolkids spot me in the movie they will call me 'Gaylord.' I wouldn't mind if it was a theme running through the movie but all the other extras could be filming A Christmas Carol, they look so conventionally Victorian. Its just me, looking out of place. And craply gay.
The worst part is they shaved my beard off, and kept the moustache just to make me look more like a 70s gay stereotype. I have to stay like this till Thursday. So until then I shall be as stubbly as possible to disguise the difference.
Who knows, maybe there is some 'Holmes is gay' subtle in-joke where he checks out all the lords. To be fair though if Mr Downey has to wink at me I may actually turn gay.