Work Hell...
Gah I wish I could get a better job, but I don't feel like working in fast food. I want a writing job, but to get one of those I'd have to actually finish a book, or get a college degree. My hopes for college are slim. I don't even know if I want to go anymore. Everyone keeps asking me that.
One of the last things my grams asked me before she died was what I planned on doing after high school, If I was going to college, and I didn't know.
I still remember the last shows we watched together. One was Power Rangers in Space because she couldnt figure out how to work the tv button and the second was the Golden Girls. God how I miss her. *cries*
Today at work they made me clean up mold. I guess some health inspector is comming on Tuesday morning, and so the soda fountains needed the nosils cleaned. I ended up doing two and a half in between movies out of the four. One was already done. I literally was given a toothbrush to clean them with. It was nasty as heck and I the mold triggered my allergies. Next time you drink soda from a fountain remember my story of scrubbing mold. I for one know which fountain I will be drinking out of for now on.
*sighs*
I wish I didn't feel this way. I feel so lost, so empty, so void. I took an online test today and it told me that I was souless. Nice eh?
I wish people weren't so judemental of me. I wish people understood how hard Iv'e had things. I wish they knew what it was like to sit every single day of your life and just cry because that's how utterly hopeless you felt.
I need hope. Hope is what helps guide us, keep us going through the day. I just wish I could feel something, anything other than this unending wave of pain, despair, and depression. I wish I could hold my friends close and just be happy to see them. I don't want to go back to school, the hell of my life.
*sighs again*
Will it ever end????
~*Tina*~
One of the last things my grams asked me before she died was what I planned on doing after high school, If I was going to college, and I didn't know.
I still remember the last shows we watched together. One was Power Rangers in Space because she couldnt figure out how to work the tv button and the second was the Golden Girls. God how I miss her. *cries*
Today at work they made me clean up mold. I guess some health inspector is comming on Tuesday morning, and so the soda fountains needed the nosils cleaned. I ended up doing two and a half in between movies out of the four. One was already done. I literally was given a toothbrush to clean them with. It was nasty as heck and I the mold triggered my allergies. Next time you drink soda from a fountain remember my story of scrubbing mold. I for one know which fountain I will be drinking out of for now on.
*sighs*
I wish I didn't feel this way. I feel so lost, so empty, so void. I took an online test today and it told me that I was souless. Nice eh?
I wish people weren't so judemental of me. I wish people understood how hard Iv'e had things. I wish they knew what it was like to sit every single day of your life and just cry because that's how utterly hopeless you felt.
I need hope. Hope is what helps guide us, keep us going through the day. I just wish I could feel something, anything other than this unending wave of pain, despair, and depression. I wish I could hold my friends close and just be happy to see them. I don't want to go back to school, the hell of my life.
*sighs again*
Will it ever end????
~*Tina*~