(no subject)
perhaps I should type the truth to you.
I'm upset again...like very upset. I have been upset for the past week about everything. Mainly what I'm going to do with my life. I want to promote badly, but my parents do not want that...and it seems as if I've lived my life to please them...instead of God. You know about this, as I have typed about it before...but this time it's really bad. I try to focus on God, and right now I just can't...because I can't be patient and wait for doors to open...since my parents want me to do something right away. But God's plan sometimes takes waiting...I know this, but they do not...
It upsets me that I have a huge insecurity about myself still...which is honestly...that I can't deal with it when people make fun of me. I hate being upset I just hate it...I'm usually always so happy and positive...I don't know what's wrong. I'm just stuck in a rut I suppose. But I don't like this...I don't like the direction my life is going. I talk to God about this a lot...but sometimes (even for a strong believer like myself) it is hard to just shut up and listen to find out what He wants you to do in your life.
I'm hoping some doors will open very soon for my promotion with bands. I keep praying I'll get an internship at a Christian record lable and be able to get out on my own and start living my own life. You know what kills me? I'm almost 20 years old, and I still live at home and depend greatly upon my parents for help since I have my disability. I have no frikin clue what it's like to be on my own...none at all. I have no idea how to do anything without them...this scares me for when I finally am on my own. You think my future boy friend/fiance/husband is going to want to have to take care of me? No...I doubt that very much. There comes a point where I have to learn how to do it on my own. I hate feeling like I'm disappointed with who I am because I have my walker and wheelchair...come to think of it, I'm not disappointed with who I am...I never will be. But at the same time, I really dislike people that come up to me and say I need to be healed. I'm not usually upset with this, and you all know that 96% of the time, it does not bother me. So if you thought about commenting and telling me I need to be healed, please save that crap. I don't want to listen to it.
Everyone has their tough moments, and right now I am going through one of mine...don't make me feel worse than I already am
Bye, God bless
I'm upset again...like very upset. I have been upset for the past week about everything. Mainly what I'm going to do with my life. I want to promote badly, but my parents do not want that...and it seems as if I've lived my life to please them...instead of God. You know about this, as I have typed about it before...but this time it's really bad. I try to focus on God, and right now I just can't...because I can't be patient and wait for doors to open...since my parents want me to do something right away. But God's plan sometimes takes waiting...I know this, but they do not...
It upsets me that I have a huge insecurity about myself still...which is honestly...that I can't deal with it when people make fun of me. I hate being upset I just hate it...I'm usually always so happy and positive...I don't know what's wrong. I'm just stuck in a rut I suppose. But I don't like this...I don't like the direction my life is going. I talk to God about this a lot...but sometimes (even for a strong believer like myself) it is hard to just shut up and listen to find out what He wants you to do in your life.
I'm hoping some doors will open very soon for my promotion with bands. I keep praying I'll get an internship at a Christian record lable and be able to get out on my own and start living my own life. You know what kills me? I'm almost 20 years old, and I still live at home and depend greatly upon my parents for help since I have my disability. I have no frikin clue what it's like to be on my own...none at all. I have no idea how to do anything without them...this scares me for when I finally am on my own. You think my future boy friend/fiance/husband is going to want to have to take care of me? No...I doubt that very much. There comes a point where I have to learn how to do it on my own. I hate feeling like I'm disappointed with who I am because I have my walker and wheelchair...come to think of it, I'm not disappointed with who I am...I never will be. But at the same time, I really dislike people that come up to me and say I need to be healed. I'm not usually upset with this, and you all know that 96% of the time, it does not bother me. So if you thought about commenting and telling me I need to be healed, please save that crap. I don't want to listen to it.
Everyone has their tough moments, and right now I am going through one of mine...don't make me feel worse than I already am
Bye, God bless