(no subject)
man, in the last 20 minutes i went fr omjust feelin bummed for no reason to totally shot down. i just found out i have twice as much shit to do this week for indiana recording program. and that it has to be receieved by december 1, not postmarked. son of a bitch. i thought ijust had to do the interview application/questions/essay and send a transcript. i ahve to do that, and apparently write a 3-5 page paper about some shit and do all this other crap for the recording program itself. why can't these things fucking work together. you get 6 free transcripts from preble, and i'm gonna have used 3 for IU and things related to by the time i'm done. i've had it. i don't even want to go to fucking college. i'd be fine working in a record store the rest of my life and playing bumshit shows for 30 people that no one really gives a fuck about the rest of my life. or i could move to england. people who play music like mine there fill rooms. they give a damn out there. i do'nt want to go to high school. i don't want to go to college. this is all stupid. i hate it. i can't even look anyone in the eyes anymore. i dont know why. i'm afraid i'm just gonna see the bullshit i think i'm gonna see. in some way shape or form i've fucked up things that could've been great in my life. somewhere down the line, something happened that made me not want to be in school, love or anything. something i must've done for that to happen. i'm gonna throw it all away. why shouldn't i.