::yawn:: i hate feelin werid.
soo im chillin right now...listening to TI.haha. werd. im such a thug sometimes. haha now DR.Acula is on..im soo random so werid!!!
how do i say this, my mind is a tangled mess of thoughts.i just wanna sit alone and do nothing im not even sure why, i have ideas as to why. its soo funny because people at work are complenting me on how much my attiude has changed for the better..hahah i have like this thought of holy shit, i must of gotten really good at faking happiness to the point where it cant even be seen that my mind is all over the place..im kind of scareing myself because of that. i dont even know anymore. its strange to me. my mind is a thinking trainwreak, my body is a walking abomination. i dont know what i need to do in order to be smiling..i feel like this is never cycle. i feel like a broken record..skipping in missed memories. im starting to miss my friends in RI/MA again. i feel forgotten by most of them...i just think im still upset from the trip to MA..im starting to think that maybe going to MA wasnt a good idea, because im more depressed now then before i went. i thought going there was going to give me like a sence of....something. who knows what. maybe i AM suppose to hpme sick..i never hung out with my brother like i did before i went away, and when i was in MA..i got too see him all the time...it was AWESOME. i do miss my brother and my sister in law a ton. i miss my mom like crazy.if i ever decided to EVER go back there is just no way for me to live at my parents house because of my dad. i want so badly to have some sort of good relationship with my whole family...where did i hear that before...OH SNAP...my list...i wanted to have a better reationship with my WHOLE family..and i guess that has to include my dad..uggh, that would be harder than pretty much EVERYTHING on that dumb list of nonsence. well i guess im going to get going for now...i need a ciggarette...peace kids!!!
how do i say this, my mind is a tangled mess of thoughts.i just wanna sit alone and do nothing im not even sure why, i have ideas as to why. its soo funny because people at work are complenting me on how much my attiude has changed for the better..hahah i have like this thought of holy shit, i must of gotten really good at faking happiness to the point where it cant even be seen that my mind is all over the place..im kind of scareing myself because of that. i dont even know anymore. its strange to me. my mind is a thinking trainwreak, my body is a walking abomination. i dont know what i need to do in order to be smiling..i feel like this is never cycle. i feel like a broken record..skipping in missed memories. im starting to miss my friends in RI/MA again. i feel forgotten by most of them...i just think im still upset from the trip to MA..im starting to think that maybe going to MA wasnt a good idea, because im more depressed now then before i went. i thought going there was going to give me like a sence of....something. who knows what. maybe i AM suppose to hpme sick..i never hung out with my brother like i did before i went away, and when i was in MA..i got too see him all the time...it was AWESOME. i do miss my brother and my sister in law a ton. i miss my mom like crazy.if i ever decided to EVER go back there is just no way for me to live at my parents house because of my dad. i want so badly to have some sort of good relationship with my whole family...where did i hear that before...OH SNAP...my list...i wanted to have a better reationship with my WHOLE family..and i guess that has to include my dad..uggh, that would be harder than pretty much EVERYTHING on that dumb list of nonsence. well i guess im going to get going for now...i need a ciggarette...peace kids!!!