It's finally over...
20th came and went... and now I am 20.
Twenty... two and zero... the first step out.
no longer a teen.
I'll never have to deal with the baggage, or the awkwardness, or the emptiness again - (at least not in that way.) The youth season is over and a new age is thrown over me like a welcoming arm. I don't know how to act. I am glad to see this age, though, it doesn't feel like much. Nothing happened, which is most certainly the cause for my confusion.
I usually was the one who made my day a big deal. I always threw the occasions celebration, provided the atmosphere for happy memories. Though, some memories I wouldn't bless with that title.
No apple pucker spilled onto my bed and floor.
No money pile to pitch in for pizza.
No Queen of the Damned, and vampire fangs.
No marker on Gabe's sleeping face.
No all girl slumber party (with the ones who angered me most, those who've forgotten me by now.)
No theme decorated dining tables.
No treasure hunts between grandma's and home.
No ice cream cakes or candles.
For the past 10+ years I'd always done something. This year just felt as though 'something' were missing. My husband did try to surprise me by flying home when he wasn't supposed to leave the state of Arizona. (Glad as she was to see him, his my mother in-law was scared they would think he went awol. Silly army.) Seeing him was a treat in its self, but... oy! What is a habit but to be broken, anyway? Next year is supposed to be a big deal, we'll see.
A heart-felt "thank you" to those who did remember.
Twenty... two and zero... the first step out.
no longer a teen.
I'll never have to deal with the baggage, or the awkwardness, or the emptiness again - (at least not in that way.) The youth season is over and a new age is thrown over me like a welcoming arm. I don't know how to act. I am glad to see this age, though, it doesn't feel like much. Nothing happened, which is most certainly the cause for my confusion.
I usually was the one who made my day a big deal. I always threw the occasions celebration, provided the atmosphere for happy memories. Though, some memories I wouldn't bless with that title.
No apple pucker spilled onto my bed and floor.
No money pile to pitch in for pizza.
No Queen of the Damned, and vampire fangs.
No marker on Gabe's sleeping face.
No all girl slumber party (with the ones who angered me most, those who've forgotten me by now.)
No theme decorated dining tables.
No treasure hunts between grandma's and home.
No ice cream cakes or candles.
For the past 10+ years I'd always done something. This year just felt as though 'something' were missing. My husband did try to surprise me by flying home when he wasn't supposed to leave the state of Arizona. (Glad as she was to see him, his my mother in-law was scared they would think he went awol. Silly army.) Seeing him was a treat in its self, but... oy! What is a habit but to be broken, anyway? Next year is supposed to be a big deal, we'll see.
A heart-felt "thank you" to those who did remember.