inarticulate
Lemme just say - I can't even begin to express the difference that real friends can make in your life...
Very few people could possibly know what was going on in my mind this wknd...and even fewer could deal with talking it all out listening to me talk it all out. There's something to be said for [very nearly] life-long friends. Those folks who have been there forever.
We've been super-close, kinda close, not even close…at one point I think we maybe forgot about each other. But here we are. And all I can say is that is what I needed. Every single second of that 3 hours was like a rejuvenation. Finally feeling like we're…back. Not the same way - not by a long shot - but good.
Cuz I am still coming to grips with my surroundings [apparently] and was going through a bit of a … slump, I guess you could say. Seriously - I've been completely good since Monday night/Tuesday morning (early)… You know how sometimes you hear things that you just…need to hear. From people close enough to you to feel comfortable telling you. At the same time, listening. Allowing you to vent frustration, to work things out [out loud]…and slipping a bit of reminiscing in there to remind you of your common background.
Forgive the sap, but it's a comforting thing. Most of the time I think I don't really need it. That I'll just be ok, cuz I know I can always make it. But sometimes being here takes more out of me than I even know. And it's not until I'm practically tapped out that I start desperately grabbing for someone to help keep my head above water.
Well…to be real…this is probably the first time I've ever actually asked for help.
So, there ya go. Weird that I only felt comfortable putting it all out there with one person. [besides family] not weird, I guess. Just an acknowledgment of the facts. Don't really have the same history with anyone else. But then do you ever?
Meanwhile, Corinne Bailey Rae's been spinning in the car and in the house on a nonstop. Current fave? Trouble Sleeping. Love 'like a star', def feeling 'choux pastry heart' and 'put your records on' - but who doesn't love this line?
"some kind of therapy is all I need
please believe me
some instant remedy that can
cure me completely…"
k den. Couldn't really put into words what I was thinking tonight. Wish you three or four [or less] folks keeping up with my musings could see into my mind on this one, cuz this feeling doesn't translate into English. It's almost like a comforting satisfaction..but not really. More like a happy relief? No. an unloading of stress and an uplifting of the heart? Eh…that's chicken-soup-for-the-soul-speak…and not quite accurate. One thing I'm certain of: it was providential.
Just like Michael Knight winning the 10 grand on Project Runway.
G'night.