romantic advice (hollywood-style)
- falling in love happens "when you least expect it" - so try not to think about it. especially when you meet that cute, rich guy.
- if you’re ever at a party with a patio/porch/deck/terrace, stay for a bit and then surreptitiously relocate to the outer area [patio etc] - the guy who really cares will notice you’ve gone and come look for you. [then you can have either a meaningful conversation, or one that blatantly ignores the fact that you guys are into each other]
- never have girlfriends prettier than you
- when given a choice between a straight-laced trust-fund baby and a rough-around-the-edges, up-and-coming musician - go for the musician. he’s (obviously) cuter, and he’ll make it big, someday.
- girls can be made beautiful by straightening their hair and taking off their glasses. beautiful is important because only beautiful girls get guys.
- don’t try to impress your gf/bf’s parents too much, they’re already joking behind your back anyway - don’t give the anymore ammunition. [you are a supreme dork in their eyes. best way to get in good is with a sibling]
- never go to parks on a date within the first 2 or 3 months - it will rain on you. [even though you went anyway, remember your SO’s response to the weather. this will probably never change.]
life where this is reality doesn't exist. and yet we get books and commentators, talk show hosts and faux-psychologists, writers and directors all telling us this is the way things actually happen.
i can tell you this. i haven't met a guy yet that will pick up on that second bullet point.
i know there are lots more insane examples from movies, maybe i'll think of more later.