No I can't breathe I'm barely hanging on
4 more days until my birthday and I'm not even excited...that's sad.
Maybe it's the high amount of emotions I have running through my system.
How is it that I can still be incredibly sad about you...I don't understand it. I'm not sure I ever will. Why is it that you still pull on my heart even when I had thought I had finally let that part of it go. Grrrrrrr.
I can't change the past, but I can learn from it in order to change the future.
Head meet desk ****SLAM****
I feel like hitting my head against the wall a few times to knock some sense into myself...or at least to make me stop thinking the way I do. To get the emotions out.
A good cry would be good seeing as I keep sitting here with my eyes watering even if I'm not thinking of anything particular....I'm strange I know this no need to remind me.
I want to call you...I'm afraid though so I probably won't.
Chris can be such a jackass sometimes, but then he can be the complete opposite as well...it's strange. I'm glad he's my friend though, I'm sure my life would be a little more boring if it weren't for him.
I find myself missing Robbie. I haven't talked to him since before he moved. Neither one of us has really tried to talk to the other or at least that's how it seems. I'm afraid I'll never see him again and that I'll never really talk to him again and that I've lost one of my best friends forever and that he doesn't care and I'm too upset with him to do anything about it. I'm just still so hurt that he didn't say goodbye to me...not even a phone call to say goodbye...nothing. It made me realize how important (or unimportant for that matter) I am to him. It just hurts...a lot. But I miss him...I miss knowing he's there if I needed him. I feel lost in a way. If I keep talking about this then I'm going to cry and I don't want to cry while I'm at work so I'll stop.
I still think about high school sometimes..even now 5 years later. It just seemed easier then...I had a lot of friends. I had courage, I had the ability to talk to guys, I had my best friends around me everyday. I had a lot of things that over the years I've lost. I was even somewhat outgoing in high school and now I'm back to being the shy person I used to be.
I want companionship.
Maybe it's the high amount of emotions I have running through my system.
How is it that I can still be incredibly sad about you...I don't understand it. I'm not sure I ever will. Why is it that you still pull on my heart even when I had thought I had finally let that part of it go. Grrrrrrr.
I can't change the past, but I can learn from it in order to change the future.
Head meet desk ****SLAM****
I feel like hitting my head against the wall a few times to knock some sense into myself...or at least to make me stop thinking the way I do. To get the emotions out.
A good cry would be good seeing as I keep sitting here with my eyes watering even if I'm not thinking of anything particular....I'm strange I know this no need to remind me.
I want to call you...I'm afraid though so I probably won't.
Chris can be such a jackass sometimes, but then he can be the complete opposite as well...it's strange. I'm glad he's my friend though, I'm sure my life would be a little more boring if it weren't for him.
I find myself missing Robbie. I haven't talked to him since before he moved. Neither one of us has really tried to talk to the other or at least that's how it seems. I'm afraid I'll never see him again and that I'll never really talk to him again and that I've lost one of my best friends forever and that he doesn't care and I'm too upset with him to do anything about it. I'm just still so hurt that he didn't say goodbye to me...not even a phone call to say goodbye...nothing. It made me realize how important (or unimportant for that matter) I am to him. It just hurts...a lot. But I miss him...I miss knowing he's there if I needed him. I feel lost in a way. If I keep talking about this then I'm going to cry and I don't want to cry while I'm at work so I'll stop.
I still think about high school sometimes..even now 5 years later. It just seemed easier then...I had a lot of friends. I had courage, I had the ability to talk to guys, I had my best friends around me everyday. I had a lot of things that over the years I've lost. I was even somewhat outgoing in high school and now I'm back to being the shy person I used to be.
I want companionship.