Why Does Everyone Hate Me?..
I swear tonight had to be one of those nights, that if I had to choice, I wouldn't live through again. I thought it would be a good idea to be all supportive of my little cousin who was being inducted into the NHS at Riverside. Boy oh boy, was I ever wrong.
She was really happy that I took the time out of my night to go see her. I have to say I think she was the only happy person. Because Mom didn't want to be there. My uncle and aunt were very unenthusiastic about my coming along. And it all went down hill from there.
The night was a total bore, which I had expected because I have sat through three of my own inductions,but that wasn't what bothered me about tonight. (and for further refrence, since I know I will get a comment about me not being able to see Kenny, it wasn't that either.)
The minute I walked into that school, I knew it was a mistake. Jerry, who for those of you with a bad memory or those who don't know, is my ex boyfriend who I liked a great deal for five years and dated for a month, was there. Yeah, he's a member of the NHS. So, of course I get dirty looks from him while waiting to find a seat. And then, his lovely girlfriend decides that she doesn't like the fact that I was there, and stared and then bitched me out. I hate people like that.
On top of that, While listening to them introduce the senior members of the NHS and the colleges they've been accepted to and everything. I realized how much I've given up just for a relationship with Kenny. I know that sounds extremely harsh, but in some ways it's very true. Staying local and attending Wilkes next fall was my choice. But I could have easily gotten into a better college, further away, and because I met Kenny and he's changed my life, I chose to give that up. I know it was my choice and therefore it shouldn't bother me, but it does..
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a fool and if I'll ever learn to rely more on myself and my perception of myself rather than what others perceive me to be..
This entry is getting long, and it's getting late. I still have to shower and do some homework. So, I'll cut this short. Look for an update tomorrow.
Goodnight, Nikki.
She was really happy that I took the time out of my night to go see her. I have to say I think she was the only happy person. Because Mom didn't want to be there. My uncle and aunt were very unenthusiastic about my coming along. And it all went down hill from there.
The night was a total bore, which I had expected because I have sat through three of my own inductions,but that wasn't what bothered me about tonight. (and for further refrence, since I know I will get a comment about me not being able to see Kenny, it wasn't that either.)
The minute I walked into that school, I knew it was a mistake. Jerry, who for those of you with a bad memory or those who don't know, is my ex boyfriend who I liked a great deal for five years and dated for a month, was there. Yeah, he's a member of the NHS. So, of course I get dirty looks from him while waiting to find a seat. And then, his lovely girlfriend decides that she doesn't like the fact that I was there, and stared and then bitched me out. I hate people like that.
On top of that, While listening to them introduce the senior members of the NHS and the colleges they've been accepted to and everything. I realized how much I've given up just for a relationship with Kenny. I know that sounds extremely harsh, but in some ways it's very true. Staying local and attending Wilkes next fall was my choice. But I could have easily gotten into a better college, further away, and because I met Kenny and he's changed my life, I chose to give that up. I know it was my choice and therefore it shouldn't bother me, but it does..
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a fool and if I'll ever learn to rely more on myself and my perception of myself rather than what others perceive me to be..
This entry is getting long, and it's getting late. I still have to shower and do some homework. So, I'll cut this short. Look for an update tomorrow.
Goodnight, Nikki.