(no subject)
I know with this way of life you are supposed to open up and talk to people, that you are not supposed to take on the world alone. It just seems that at the times where I open myself up to different people, i don't feel a comfort or a conversation to follow. Just a brief exchange of words, that doesnt feel like enough to me. I try and it feels like it ends with rejection, but not quite rejection cause I don't think I care. Its just something suggested to do. See, I'm ok with me, and the very few I confide in. However, I'm told its good to have more than a few. Maybe,I just haven't found the ones, the ones like before, that I could just open everything up to and feel that connection. Maybe people just aren't the same, maybe they are too consumed with their lives, that no one can listen. There is a feeling I get when I know someone is listening, when they open up to hear what I say. I dont feel that too often these days.. so in my mind, I see no need to talk, I can just write instead, at least I'll feel some results. Maybe I feel censored, cause I feel like theres judges, maybe I just care as much as you. I feel like now I know the difference, I know what to do. And that I know each decision is mine, I know the right way to choose, but in the end its still my choice, so why do I need to talk to any of you. I'm ok, I have faith in myself, in what I do. I know what my head is saying, and I still hear(know) my heart. This doesn't mean I wont talk to others, it just means I dont have to feel pressured into trying so hard.