Updating, Cuz There Has Been So Much Goin On...
So, since my last entry, so fuckin much has gone on.
My valentine's day was amazing. I knew it couldn't have lasted to long, the happiness, i mean. after that day, didn't hear from scott for 2 days. i call his house and what do i find out??? he is in fuckin jail, for doin some stupid shit! who would rob a fuckin bank? who does that, honestly?! i actually thought he was different than the other guys. but come on now, what guy is different from one another?! sorry guys, i know im being harsh, but i just don't have the feelings anymore to really care.
the shit i have been put through throughout my life by guys, i just don't care anymore. i will speak my mind if i need to, when i want to, i am not afraid to anymore.
a few people that i talk to about my relationships, some think that i have trust issues and that's what keeps me from getting into a closer relationship. it's shit like this, that gives me those trust issues. i have my reasons and they are DAMN good reasons. i admit, i do have trust issues. but you can't say you wouldn't have them if you knew what has happened...
let's see...we've got...a few sexual harassments, cheaters, guys goin just cuz of my looks thinkin im a trophy, guys goin just to get in my pants, molestation and now jail...if all this has happened to you and you didn't have trust issues, well then, congratulations to you!
people say i need to put my past behind me and don't let it interfere with my present and future. i tried that with scott, i was trying hard and where did it get me?! back down the shitter, nothin got better, everything just got worse.
so fuck guys! i hate being single becuz i hate being lonely. but, i'd rather be single and lonely than have to put up with this kind of shit that just ends up making me even more lonely. i don't need that. so i am done looking like i have always done before. if i was meant to be with someone, they will find me, something good will happen...although, i honestly can't see that happening...
im out.
My valentine's day was amazing. I knew it couldn't have lasted to long, the happiness, i mean. after that day, didn't hear from scott for 2 days. i call his house and what do i find out??? he is in fuckin jail, for doin some stupid shit! who would rob a fuckin bank? who does that, honestly?! i actually thought he was different than the other guys. but come on now, what guy is different from one another?! sorry guys, i know im being harsh, but i just don't have the feelings anymore to really care.
the shit i have been put through throughout my life by guys, i just don't care anymore. i will speak my mind if i need to, when i want to, i am not afraid to anymore.
a few people that i talk to about my relationships, some think that i have trust issues and that's what keeps me from getting into a closer relationship. it's shit like this, that gives me those trust issues. i have my reasons and they are DAMN good reasons. i admit, i do have trust issues. but you can't say you wouldn't have them if you knew what has happened...
let's see...we've got...a few sexual harassments, cheaters, guys goin just cuz of my looks thinkin im a trophy, guys goin just to get in my pants, molestation and now jail...if all this has happened to you and you didn't have trust issues, well then, congratulations to you!
people say i need to put my past behind me and don't let it interfere with my present and future. i tried that with scott, i was trying hard and where did it get me?! back down the shitter, nothin got better, everything just got worse.
so fuck guys! i hate being single becuz i hate being lonely. but, i'd rather be single and lonely than have to put up with this kind of shit that just ends up making me even more lonely. i don't need that. so i am done looking like i have always done before. if i was meant to be with someone, they will find me, something good will happen...although, i honestly can't see that happening...
im out.