is he writing fiction?
I dunno where to begin. I was super excited that we had a break from school, coz I get to spend the free time with my friends that I dont normally see all the time, but I havent really been doing that that much. They have daytime jobs where they have to wake up at the crack of dawn so at night they are too tired to come out and do something. That sucks because I am a night owl and I will stay up till 6 in the morning. lol I have recently became addicted to pool. I seriously want to buy a pool table for my house so I can play ne time I want. haha and I swear it would not turn out like the ping pong table, because with pool you can play by yourself and it could actually be fun.
So tonight I went to Bible Study with my grandmom, and guess what. They started talking about homosexuality and abortions and stuff like that. So I had to bite my tounge with all the shit they were saying. lol I mean I believe that if you live your life to be a good person, in the end you will be saved. But honestly, I hope that someday I can become a fully devoute christian. And no, no luck with my man from church. :( I'm starting to get anxious and I am seriously so close to just walking up to him and being like hey, lets hang out or can I have your number. lol Its like ugggh! I mean hes always staring at me and he always talks to me and even on new years at midnight he gave me a "happy new years" hug. lol I just dont know what to do. Its so hard because we are both shy and plus we are at church and if there were only some way I could see him outside of church it would be easier. It would be easier without all these old people around because I feel like I'm being watched. lol I swear the next chance I get when were all alone or something like that, I will ask him or atleast talk to him. I'm so fed up with it.
I'm starting to think that I suck at life. I still have no clue what I wanna do, and I really dont want it to boil down to me just picking a career out of a hat because I wanna do something that I love. and I hate the fact that every fucking career I have thought about my mother always has some negative thing to say. Yes maybe she is trying to prepare me to be let down, but she has to let me know that in some way she approves of what I'm doing or atleast she has faith that I can do it. Its like no wonder I dont think I can accomplish something because she doesnt think so either. I dont wanna end up doing a shitty job like her I really dont. I need to buckel down and get my shit figured out.
and I'm tried of relying on sleeping pills to help me get to bed earlier, and even though I go to bed at midnight I still dont get up until 12??? what is up with that, seriously? so tonight I didnt take the pills and I'll prolly be up until 4. It sucks but whatever. It kinda scares me too, coz I have a friend who relied on sleeping pills, and now he has lost the ability to sleep.
I dunno what the hell I just wrote, but whatever!
So tonight I went to Bible Study with my grandmom, and guess what. They started talking about homosexuality and abortions and stuff like that. So I had to bite my tounge with all the shit they were saying. lol I mean I believe that if you live your life to be a good person, in the end you will be saved. But honestly, I hope that someday I can become a fully devoute christian. And no, no luck with my man from church. :( I'm starting to get anxious and I am seriously so close to just walking up to him and being like hey, lets hang out or can I have your number. lol Its like ugggh! I mean hes always staring at me and he always talks to me and even on new years at midnight he gave me a "happy new years" hug. lol I just dont know what to do. Its so hard because we are both shy and plus we are at church and if there were only some way I could see him outside of church it would be easier. It would be easier without all these old people around because I feel like I'm being watched. lol I swear the next chance I get when were all alone or something like that, I will ask him or atleast talk to him. I'm so fed up with it.
I'm starting to think that I suck at life. I still have no clue what I wanna do, and I really dont want it to boil down to me just picking a career out of a hat because I wanna do something that I love. and I hate the fact that every fucking career I have thought about my mother always has some negative thing to say. Yes maybe she is trying to prepare me to be let down, but she has to let me know that in some way she approves of what I'm doing or atleast she has faith that I can do it. Its like no wonder I dont think I can accomplish something because she doesnt think so either. I dont wanna end up doing a shitty job like her I really dont. I need to buckel down and get my shit figured out.
and I'm tried of relying on sleeping pills to help me get to bed earlier, and even though I go to bed at midnight I still dont get up until 12??? what is up with that, seriously? so tonight I didnt take the pills and I'll prolly be up until 4. It sucks but whatever. It kinda scares me too, coz I have a friend who relied on sleeping pills, and now he has lost the ability to sleep.
I dunno what the hell I just wrote, but whatever!