I feel like shit
okay so all the thoughts in my head are starting to take up stress on my body. I feel completely horrible. I bailed on basically all my classes, and I'm lying to my mom. My mom is putting all this money into my education, and I'm literally throwing it down the drain. I'm thinking back to all my semesters and I'm just wishing I put forth more effort. I mean the biggest idiot in the world can get an 'A' if they study and work hard. ugh! I'm just so disappointed in myself, and sometimes I wish I can just be re-born again and start all over. But nope, I have to live with the mistakes I've made and I have to work harder and do my best to make up for them. When my mom called me yesterday to see how I did on my final I lied and told her I think I did good. I'm a horrible person. someone just shoot me.
I had a dream last night that I got fired from work. And today when I came into work I told one of the managers and she goes "well you did forget to fill up my fries but we wont fire you for that, haha!" I was like shut the fuck up you dirty whore! haha just kidding, but that kinda pissed me off. And my dream scared me. I felt like I had no security without that job and so now I'm looking for a new job. lol just in case. That would be really freaky if that happened. lol Its not people actually get fired from there ne ways.
so, I have this friend who has betrayed me more than once. I have forgiven her for both times but I havent forgotten it. I think about it all the time, because it seriously has scarred me on the inside. I liked this guy and she knew all about it and she was even trying to help us get together. So then I hear that she had been hanging out with him behind my back and that she actually liked him, but I did not hear this from her. She lied right to my face and told me she didnt like him but I could see the flirtation going on. And instead of her actually telling me that they were dating, I had to see it through her myspace pictures and her quote saying "in a relationship." Thats the kind of friend I dont want! Its not like she was in love with him so its not she had to be with him. I get so angry just thinking about it, because you dont do that to your friends. And a big part of me seriously wants to just tell her exactly how I feel but I cant because it doesnt go through to her head. She doesnt care about me or my feelings coz if she did she would have told me about this to my face. She only cares about herself. I mean no wonder the girl has no friends because everytime I ask her to do something shes doing something else with her b/f. I swear the girl would be lonely if she didnt have a b/f, which is TADA why she has one. And I mean who gets out of a 3 year long relationship with someone and then starts "seriously" dating someone else like a week later? It just sucks when this shit is happening with someone who could give a rats ass. and silly me to think that she might have changed since we were 14. Outta all the shit that has happened in my life (not saying that I've had a shitty life) but this has to be pretty much the top worst.
I've always been the girl that friends come before guys. Always, if I was with my b/f and a friend called me up crying her eyes out, at the drop of a hat I would be there for her. Thats just the type of person I am.
Though I've gotten all this off my chest, I still feel like crawling into a little ball and just disappearing into the clouds and just saying good-bye. not like that makes sense.
I had a dream last night that I got fired from work. And today when I came into work I told one of the managers and she goes "well you did forget to fill up my fries but we wont fire you for that, haha!" I was like shut the fuck up you dirty whore! haha just kidding, but that kinda pissed me off. And my dream scared me. I felt like I had no security without that job and so now I'm looking for a new job. lol just in case. That would be really freaky if that happened. lol Its not people actually get fired from there ne ways.
so, I have this friend who has betrayed me more than once. I have forgiven her for both times but I havent forgotten it. I think about it all the time, because it seriously has scarred me on the inside. I liked this guy and she knew all about it and she was even trying to help us get together. So then I hear that she had been hanging out with him behind my back and that she actually liked him, but I did not hear this from her. She lied right to my face and told me she didnt like him but I could see the flirtation going on. And instead of her actually telling me that they were dating, I had to see it through her myspace pictures and her quote saying "in a relationship." Thats the kind of friend I dont want! Its not like she was in love with him so its not she had to be with him. I get so angry just thinking about it, because you dont do that to your friends. And a big part of me seriously wants to just tell her exactly how I feel but I cant because it doesnt go through to her head. She doesnt care about me or my feelings coz if she did she would have told me about this to my face. She only cares about herself. I mean no wonder the girl has no friends because everytime I ask her to do something shes doing something else with her b/f. I swear the girl would be lonely if she didnt have a b/f, which is TADA why she has one. And I mean who gets out of a 3 year long relationship with someone and then starts "seriously" dating someone else like a week later? It just sucks when this shit is happening with someone who could give a rats ass. and silly me to think that she might have changed since we were 14. Outta all the shit that has happened in my life (not saying that I've had a shitty life) but this has to be pretty much the top worst.
I've always been the girl that friends come before guys. Always, if I was with my b/f and a friend called me up crying her eyes out, at the drop of a hat I would be there for her. Thats just the type of person I am.
Though I've gotten all this off my chest, I still feel like crawling into a little ball and just disappearing into the clouds and just saying good-bye. not like that makes sense.