Leaving
Shy gives Neko one more kiss on her head and scratches her behind the ears as he looks at the note in his hand. He'd written it right after he'd finished packing and hadn't held back at all. He didn't really see any reason to be anything but brutally honest about everything since fleeing the therapist's office. Taking a deep breath, he sets the piece of paper on the kitchen table. If Orlando doesn't find it first, Will's going to see it. He takes off his wedding ring and places it on the table, next to the note.
"Be a good girl," he whispers to his cat before picking up his bag and heading out of the house.
Orlando,
I've decided to head out on my own instead of waiting for you to tell me exactly when I have to leave. I didn't come to you with much stuff so I'm leaving the same way. I don't want anything from you. Thank god the marriage wasn't real so I don't have to be bothered with divorcing you. I can just walk away from the worst mistake I've ever made in my life and I'm including the fact that I've killed a man. I'm taking the boat you gave me to the mainland, but I'll leave it docked and Will can have someone bring it back. I'm not sure where I'll go right now, but I can't go home to my mum. You were supposed to be there for me. You promised her you would be. I'll find a way to let her know you're nothing but a bloody liar. You were my life for these last few years so now I have to figure out what to do since you didn't really mean it when you said 'til death' and all the rest of it. Maybe if I'd been a worthless piece of street trash like the people in your past, you would have really loved me. I never in my life thought it would have been to my advantage to be a disgusting slut when I met you.
Please take care of Neko and don't throw her out just because she was mine. I wanted to take her with me but I don't know where I'll end up, and it's not fair to take her away from her family here. She loves Julie and Isis. She's a good girl and didn't do anything wrong so keep her safe. Maybe I'm crazy to trust you with her but I think it's easier for you to kick me out onto the street than her. Plus I don't think Will would let you do anything to her. At least I know he'll love her and will stop you from hurting her. I'm going to really miss her.
I was going to leave it at that but I need to let you know that I wish I'd never met you. I wish I never even knew you existed. I wish I'd met Tom first and stayed with him because he really loved me and I hurt him to be with you. That's the second worst mistake I ever made. He's more of a man than you'll ever be. I gave up a chance at real happiness to be with you. If I'd never met you or Will, Kevin would never have taken me. It seems so easy for you to forget that happened to me. Guess it just proves how selfish you are. I bet it makes you laugh to think about how much you fooled me into caring about you so much. You must have loved that I hadn't been with a guy before you. Don't try to find me and if you ever see me anywhere don't say a word to me. I hope one day someone hurts you the way you've hurt me. I don't think you deserve to be happy. I hope Will never breaks up with Dane and then decides one day that he wants to be with him more than you. I hope you end up alone for the rest of your life.
I will never forgive you.
I will always hate you.
Signed,
Nathan York
"Be a good girl," he whispers to his cat before picking up his bag and heading out of the house.
Orlando,
I've decided to head out on my own instead of waiting for you to tell me exactly when I have to leave. I didn't come to you with much stuff so I'm leaving the same way. I don't want anything from you. Thank god the marriage wasn't real so I don't have to be bothered with divorcing you. I can just walk away from the worst mistake I've ever made in my life and I'm including the fact that I've killed a man. I'm taking the boat you gave me to the mainland, but I'll leave it docked and Will can have someone bring it back. I'm not sure where I'll go right now, but I can't go home to my mum. You were supposed to be there for me. You promised her you would be. I'll find a way to let her know you're nothing but a bloody liar. You were my life for these last few years so now I have to figure out what to do since you didn't really mean it when you said 'til death' and all the rest of it. Maybe if I'd been a worthless piece of street trash like the people in your past, you would have really loved me. I never in my life thought it would have been to my advantage to be a disgusting slut when I met you.
Please take care of Neko and don't throw her out just because she was mine. I wanted to take her with me but I don't know where I'll end up, and it's not fair to take her away from her family here. She loves Julie and Isis. She's a good girl and didn't do anything wrong so keep her safe. Maybe I'm crazy to trust you with her but I think it's easier for you to kick me out onto the street than her. Plus I don't think Will would let you do anything to her. At least I know he'll love her and will stop you from hurting her. I'm going to really miss her.
I was going to leave it at that but I need to let you know that I wish I'd never met you. I wish I never even knew you existed. I wish I'd met Tom first and stayed with him because he really loved me and I hurt him to be with you. That's the second worst mistake I ever made. He's more of a man than you'll ever be. I gave up a chance at real happiness to be with you. If I'd never met you or Will, Kevin would never have taken me. It seems so easy for you to forget that happened to me. Guess it just proves how selfish you are. I bet it makes you laugh to think about how much you fooled me into caring about you so much. You must have loved that I hadn't been with a guy before you. Don't try to find me and if you ever see me anywhere don't say a word to me. I hope one day someone hurts you the way you've hurt me. I don't think you deserve to be happy. I hope Will never breaks up with Dane and then decides one day that he wants to be with him more than you. I hope you end up alone for the rest of your life.
I will never forgive you.
I will always hate you.
Signed,
Nathan York