:: letter 3 ::
It's only been eight hours and it feels like forever. I miss you so much already and I wish you were here with me, holding me in your arms.
We're going to come out of this okay, right? We're going to come out of this stronger and closer than ever, right? ... everything's going to turn out okay, right?
I went to my chem review session tonight with Lorgail, and even though I semi-understand some of the concepts, I honestly very scared of this midterm.
And you wanna know what's funny? Although I'm worried shitless about my midterms on tuesday, the only direction I can seem to direct my thoughts is of seeing you in two weeks back here in Davis. How I really want to go ice skating with everyone in downtown Sac, either Friday or Saturday night. How all I want is to cuddle up to next to you at night and wake up in the morning to find your arms still wrapped around me, your head still snuggled up in the cave of my neck and feeling your breath lightly breeze against my skin.
THat's all I can seem to think about.
I can definitely say that my priorites right now are not in the correct order, because school is supposed to come first, but my mind is not in it. My hear is not in it. And I feel incredibly guilty, but I don't know what else to do.
I couldn't stop crying after I left you at your car and turned around to walk away. I wanted to turn around and wave goodbye, but I just couldn't do it. Because I knew that if I did, I would have come running right back into your arms and neither of us would have gone anywhere. So I continued to walk up the stairs, back to the apartment and just fell back ontop on the bed, hugging Mr. Flakes and burrying my face into the pillow where your scent still lingers.
Tell me I'm not crazy. Tell me this is normal. Tell me that my feelings are perfectly understandable. Tell me that I will be all right. Tell me that will get get through this and that I will not run away scared and afraid. Tell me that my heart will not get broken again.
I miss you already. I couldn't even do the four hours apart yesterday while I was studying and you were with Ryan. Sure I studied, but I habituatlly looked at the clock, and everytime I did, I would kick myself and say you just looked at it only five minutes ago, but those five mintues felt like hours.
I still need to finish writing the Thanksgiving card for your parents, and then I need to finish my physics FNT's due tomorrow, review a little bit more chem, take a shower and I will definitely be calling you tonight, just to here you say Good Night and I Love You. I never want to go three days, much less five days (our new record) without talking to you again... unless neither of us are reachable by phone and we're not in the area where we can talk. But I never, ever want to go that long without hearing your voice and you telling me that you love me.
Two weeks... that's it... I can do this. I can wait...two more weeks until I'm back in your arms and in your embrace...
_
We're going to come out of this okay, right? We're going to come out of this stronger and closer than ever, right? ... everything's going to turn out okay, right?
I went to my chem review session tonight with Lorgail, and even though I semi-understand some of the concepts, I honestly very scared of this midterm.
And you wanna know what's funny? Although I'm worried shitless about my midterms on tuesday, the only direction I can seem to direct my thoughts is of seeing you in two weeks back here in Davis. How I really want to go ice skating with everyone in downtown Sac, either Friday or Saturday night. How all I want is to cuddle up to next to you at night and wake up in the morning to find your arms still wrapped around me, your head still snuggled up in the cave of my neck and feeling your breath lightly breeze against my skin.
THat's all I can seem to think about.
I can definitely say that my priorites right now are not in the correct order, because school is supposed to come first, but my mind is not in it. My hear is not in it. And I feel incredibly guilty, but I don't know what else to do.
I couldn't stop crying after I left you at your car and turned around to walk away. I wanted to turn around and wave goodbye, but I just couldn't do it. Because I knew that if I did, I would have come running right back into your arms and neither of us would have gone anywhere. So I continued to walk up the stairs, back to the apartment and just fell back ontop on the bed, hugging Mr. Flakes and burrying my face into the pillow where your scent still lingers.
Tell me I'm not crazy. Tell me this is normal. Tell me that my feelings are perfectly understandable. Tell me that I will be all right. Tell me that will get get through this and that I will not run away scared and afraid. Tell me that my heart will not get broken again.
I miss you already. I couldn't even do the four hours apart yesterday while I was studying and you were with Ryan. Sure I studied, but I habituatlly looked at the clock, and everytime I did, I would kick myself and say you just looked at it only five minutes ago, but those five mintues felt like hours.
I still need to finish writing the Thanksgiving card for your parents, and then I need to finish my physics FNT's due tomorrow, review a little bit more chem, take a shower and I will definitely be calling you tonight, just to here you say Good Night and I Love You. I never want to go three days, much less five days (our new record) without talking to you again... unless neither of us are reachable by phone and we're not in the area where we can talk. But I never, ever want to go that long without hearing your voice and you telling me that you love me.
Two weeks... that's it... I can do this. I can wait...two more weeks until I'm back in your arms and in your embrace...
_