For those who don't want to know, look away now...
So here are some thoughts on S3 Ep1 - yes, I know everyone's doing it, so these are just notes. :¬)
1. That title: Total Eclipse. Why have I got this urge to gargle with glass and razor blades, wear a big blonde wig, and sing "...of the heaaaaaaaaaaart" now? But I digress...
2. So Much is a leech, Allan's a traitor, and they're holding you back? I know you're suffering, mate, but all of 30 seconds in and already I want Robin to just shut the fuck up.
3. Ah, that's better, it's Gisborne... ...Jesus, Joseph, Mary, Mungo, and Midge... Sorry, is it me, or is it suddenly very hot in here? Long hair...enough kohl and black eyeliner to make Marc Almond proud...lots of leather...demon haunted... Who is this Robin Hood you speak of, anyway?
4. I see Allan's not so keen on running...watch him jogging along behind everyone else who's belting up that hill...
5. I love the heavy breathing from Robin and Guy. It's like watching hate sex... ;¬)
6 Has Joe lost weight?
7 Allan to John: "We've got to think about the living, Big Man." Big Man?! :¬D
8 Nice touch! :¬D After announcing they're going to celebrate the death of Robin Hood, the Sheriff starts quoting Mrs Thatcher's speech after the Argentine surrender and the end of the Falklands War?! "Let the bells ring out - rejoice, rejoice!"
9. Just when you think this series can't get any more camp...
10. Oh dear god. I love David Harewood's Tuck. Powerful, imposing, intelligent, a force to be reckoned with...and as cheeky and twinklesome as hell: "Just call me...tall, dark and handsome..." *squees and squeals* I also think he's the one to give Robin the good, hard, slapping downs he needs at times. He's going to be a fabulous addition to the series!!
11. Oh, Sir Jasper [do not touch me] is here again - yes, "spondulics" is a massively 12th C word... *g*
12. "Robin's always been the man with a plan". Allan, what film is that line nicked from?
13. Talking of nicking lines from films, David Harewood gets to reference Joe's daddy again with a nice misquote from "Get Carter" to John: "You're a big lad, but you're out of condition."
14. I see Chris Moyles is playing the jailer...
15. Sam Troughton should get his shirt off more often...raawwwwwrrrr...
16. Please god don't let that be a huge dildo that the Sheriff's waving at Much...and noooooooooooo!!! Don't hurt poor Much!!! :¬(
17. John and Allan: bicker, bicker, bicker, bicker...
18. Robin's fugly tattoo: WTF?! Rob, I'd ask for your money back if I were you...
19. Allan's definitely the only one in the village...
20. Is it me, or is Joe getting a lot of the good lines? To the Sheriff in the dungeon: "I missed the welcoming cup of mead." On hearing they're going to be executed: "Ooh, I do like a good execution...what time are you servin' dinner?"
21. Okay, Keith - "homeland security" and Robin as a "terrorist"...
22. "The monk's been on the mushrooms!""
23. Ooh, the good old total eclipse trick! :¬D Haven't seen that since those good old 40s adventure movies! :¬D
24. Hang on, isn't that a three-quarter moon over Robin's shoulder? Um, think that would've been wise to digitally remove as it's just totally blown the whole credibility of the...oh, never mind...
25. Nope, Allan doesn't run anywhere. he just seems to wiggle his shoulders and amble quickly...
26. Oh yes!! Guy turns on the Sheriff!! "I don't think I like you very much any more..." *punches the air* Nicely done!!
27. Oh god - now Keith Allen is writing the slash for us... O.o
28. I'm not convinced they believe you when you say you didn't mean what you called them, Robin...
29. How am I supposed to concentrate on the plots when Richard, Joe, and Sam are looking so damn fantastic? :¬(
30. Next week: "My name is Kate..." Er - memo to the actor I'm not going to name, but he knows who he is; to quote John Barrowman in response to a bit of camp acting from another actor in the "Robin Hood" panto: "We so don't do that with our lips..."
All in all, a cracking start!! :¬D
However, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I found I didn't miss Marian, Djaq and Will at all. I'm so sorry. :¬(