(no subject)
dear ,
i miss you enough to scream sometimes, or here and there throughout the day, but so far have smashed & compressed the noise down into a little sigh. and when i said i missed your smile, it wasn't just some cheesy gesture in a phrase, i was fucking serious, because that smile happened in slow bursts when your eyes fell upon my face, and that was all the reassurance i really needed from you.
but that's a lie,
because i needed every bit of you allatonce and i couldn't breathe when you told me about reaching out for me in the night, half-sleeping, then being very awake with the realization that no one was there,
because i get that feeling twenty times a day.
we'll call you lucky.
and i hope
that you aren't humoring me just because the smallest part of you cares about being the one to make me cry. again.
you aren't being let down slowly when you realize you're being set down slowly.
and i don't know if you doubt we'll ever see eachother again, because i thought i knew that we would, and here you are-- sitting on the fence between the chainlink of a paradox, and
i
hope so so so hard that you don't one day (again?) reduce this to "i was in love with being in love", because if that's all there is, mincing words that are already too fucking small to depict what they symbolize to act as a reset button .. what is there?
you just probably don't even know yourself if you're cutting me loose or keeping me close as you possibly can. it's ok, baby. 'cause i don't know either.
"it's like looking into a mirror, isn't it?" i love you.
we had guessed this at its worst going into it. she's a strange walk, destiny.
forever until
-jaime
love -is- a parrot, dennis.
i miss you enough to scream sometimes, or here and there throughout the day, but so far have smashed & compressed the noise down into a little sigh. and when i said i missed your smile, it wasn't just some cheesy gesture in a phrase, i was fucking serious, because that smile happened in slow bursts when your eyes fell upon my face, and that was all the reassurance i really needed from you.
but that's a lie,
because i needed every bit of you allatonce and i couldn't breathe when you told me about reaching out for me in the night, half-sleeping, then being very awake with the realization that no one was there,
because i get that feeling twenty times a day.
we'll call you lucky.
and i hope
that you aren't humoring me just because the smallest part of you cares about being the one to make me cry. again.
you aren't being let down slowly when you realize you're being set down slowly.
and i don't know if you doubt we'll ever see eachother again, because i thought i knew that we would, and here you are-- sitting on the fence between the chainlink of a paradox, and
i
hope so so so hard that you don't one day (again?) reduce this to "i was in love with being in love", because if that's all there is, mincing words that are already too fucking small to depict what they symbolize to act as a reset button .. what is there?
you just probably don't even know yourself if you're cutting me loose or keeping me close as you possibly can. it's ok, baby. 'cause i don't know either.
"it's like looking into a mirror, isn't it?" i love you.
we had guessed this at its worst going into it. she's a strange walk, destiny.
forever until
-jaime
love -is- a parrot, dennis.