back again? maybe..
it's amazing what u find as time goes by. every year i'm either wishing to be jumped forward in time...ahead of the present, and away from all the mess i am in. knowing all the answers to the problems im dealing with, ya know? to have it all answered. OR....i'm wishing to be back in time....back when things were simple, there was only a world of opportunity and choices. and i had nothing to hold me back. there was no limit to the places i could go, and the adventures i could partake in.
That's so ironic to be wanting to go back in time. TO THINK lol. i'd love to go back to when i was a junior and everything was just about to happen. everything that was interesting atleast. I had a million different paths to go, and a whole lot of decisions i could make. BUT back then? i was only wishing i was in the future, where i am now. Knowing how it all turned out, and not having to worry about the choices and different paths. Ah its a cycle..i swear there's no easy answer. I've made my choices and i've paved my path. I am at where i got myself to be...and all i can think of is what other types of paths were there. The unfortunate part of this all is that no matter how i turned out, i genuinely feel that i would be contemplating it all the SAME EXACT WAY. wondering how it could have been different...lol. Every time i go to write out a blog, the same words come out. the same ideas...everytime. i used to think it was regret, as in i felt i could have made better choices, but i dont think it is regret at all. i think its something else...i could quite find the word. I wish i could say things get better. I wish i could have warned my past self that.....HOLY SHIT dude....u are molding EVERYTHING that u will be in the future...right now. You are writing such a huge piece of the story...right now. and u can write it in soooo many different ways. u can add characters, replace them, redesign the setting, change the mood, redistribute who the story revolves around, and totally redesign your character. BUT, the only rule is that you can only write the story as it unfolds, and you can't edit what has already happened in earlier chapters. And as the page turns, and the chapters begin and end, they are permanently etched in those pages...forever...in dark ink that can be viewed later, but never drawn over.
That's what i would tell myself, looking back now. But it does feel quite good to read about the good old times. lol. my biggest worry was grades..or...writing a song for the band..or...getting some chick to like me...or...making sure my friends were getting along. Now i got a few of those problems and a whole lot more on top of it. The biggest being... Financial Security, and the investment in a bright, promising future. gonna have to take a raincheck for answering that one. i dunno when im gonna know what to say about that....
So this is where im at right now. fucking soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much shit to talk about. SOOOOO many people to describe, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many paths i have begun walking, or atleast gotten a map ahead of time for. Now...i guess the next step is deciding...and...hoping that this path doesn't lead me somewhere so far off that i never find a happy, sunny crossroad where my friends and family and loved one meets.
Laterz for now~
~Brad of My Unsaid Everything
www.myspace.com/Brad_is_so_softcore
or
www.myspace.com/mue
here's to the next step...
That's so ironic to be wanting to go back in time. TO THINK lol. i'd love to go back to when i was a junior and everything was just about to happen. everything that was interesting atleast. I had a million different paths to go, and a whole lot of decisions i could make. BUT back then? i was only wishing i was in the future, where i am now. Knowing how it all turned out, and not having to worry about the choices and different paths. Ah its a cycle..i swear there's no easy answer. I've made my choices and i've paved my path. I am at where i got myself to be...and all i can think of is what other types of paths were there. The unfortunate part of this all is that no matter how i turned out, i genuinely feel that i would be contemplating it all the SAME EXACT WAY. wondering how it could have been different...lol. Every time i go to write out a blog, the same words come out. the same ideas...everytime. i used to think it was regret, as in i felt i could have made better choices, but i dont think it is regret at all. i think its something else...i could quite find the word. I wish i could say things get better. I wish i could have warned my past self that.....HOLY SHIT dude....u are molding EVERYTHING that u will be in the future...right now. You are writing such a huge piece of the story...right now. and u can write it in soooo many different ways. u can add characters, replace them, redesign the setting, change the mood, redistribute who the story revolves around, and totally redesign your character. BUT, the only rule is that you can only write the story as it unfolds, and you can't edit what has already happened in earlier chapters. And as the page turns, and the chapters begin and end, they are permanently etched in those pages...forever...in dark ink that can be viewed later, but never drawn over.
That's what i would tell myself, looking back now. But it does feel quite good to read about the good old times. lol. my biggest worry was grades..or...writing a song for the band..or...getting some chick to like me...or...making sure my friends were getting along. Now i got a few of those problems and a whole lot more on top of it. The biggest being... Financial Security, and the investment in a bright, promising future. gonna have to take a raincheck for answering that one. i dunno when im gonna know what to say about that....
So this is where im at right now. fucking soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much shit to talk about. SOOOOO many people to describe, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many paths i have begun walking, or atleast gotten a map ahead of time for. Now...i guess the next step is deciding...and...hoping that this path doesn't lead me somewhere so far off that i never find a happy, sunny crossroad where my friends and family and loved one meets.
Laterz for now~
~Brad of My Unsaid Everything
www.myspace.com/Brad_is_so_softcore
or
www.myspace.com/mue
here's to the next step...